"There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more." From the show, Greys Anatomy

Leave Poor Tiger Alone!

OH YES!!! Please leave the poor rich man alone! Please excuse his infidelity, irresponsible behavior and leave his lying ass alone. He has done absolutely nothing wrong, besides being a complete liar, a cheat, a poor excuse for a man and a horrible role model for all young men out there.

Ok…Let's get serious. Why is the media making this such a big deal when we have to deal with war, Global Warming, poverty, racism, starvation, drugs and hate crimes among other injustices that plague this country, this world? Even though, this is not the biggest issue we are facing, this IS a big deal. People look up to Tiger Woods, this 'once child prodigy, nerdy, honest, millionaire which is arguably the world's greatest golfer, that married a model and has the perfect life'. There are people that aspire to be like him. He endorses and has been a spokesperson for many products we purchase/use daily. How are we going to ever trust his word (or that of any spokesperson) when he cannot even be trusted by his wife? Why would we listen to a two-faced, hypocrite when he is living a double life by allegedly being unfaithful to his wife with a string of women? His supposed text messages to “Jaimee Grubbs” are disgusting and plain sad [1]. I feel bad for his wife, Elin, the woman that had faith in him and in their marriage. I am assuming trusted him and let him do his thing on his trips and on the weekends in the hopes that he would come home and be true to his word. Unfortunately, he was busy in other ways, potentially bringing home diseases along with the grocery bags. Who cares if she was sitting at home with all of the money in the world? When your husband, your other half, is not by your side, the money doesn't mean much.

How does he appear in the eyes and mind of a young man growing up in this already tumultuous environment? How can boys idolize a man who has turned out to be more than just a player of golf? How do women trust men that will tell you they love you and that they are heading off to work, when they are possibly gallivanting around with other women? Will we ever live in a society where trust, fidelity, responsibility, probity and love actually mean something?

Please note, this is not only about Tiger Woods; it’s about many men out there. This is also not meant to be a man bashing blog. It isn’t, I promise. So I will now move right along to the other despicable culprit. Many people have been harping on the fact that Tiger did wrong, but let's not forget that it takes two to tango. Jaimee flaunted her stuff in front of him, and unfortunately some, if not most men are as good/honest as their options. She, and all of the other home wreckers out there, ruins it for the rest of us. How are men going to ever trust women when that type of behavior is taking place left and right? How are men supposed to ever stay faithful if more and more women WANT to be a mistress? Um…hello…don't you get it? You will NEVER be number 1 AND you will NEVER get a good man by your side because of your whorish ways!

Eve Ensler one day said, ”women are the primary resource of the planet. They give birth, we come from them, they are mothers, they are visionaries [and] they are the future.” (see awesome video [2] below) How exactly is Jaimee setting an example for little girls around the word by being a…tramp? What role models do young girls have to look up to when a lot of women in the public eye, being continuously broadcasted in these young women's faces, are partaking in this sort of behavior?

Ladies (not sure if I could even call you that), do us all a favor and start setting a better example for women all over the world. Keep your legs closed and your pants on when it comes to other people's husbands and boyfriends. Take some time to look for someone that is available and willing to give you 100%, not just a Sunday night for a fling. Think about it, is that all you really want to be? A jumpoff? A weekend fling? A homewrecker?


In summary, how is the average man going to be respected by women if we cannot even respect the Senators, Presidents, Priests, celebrities and all of the other so called honorable men that run this country? How do we keep a spirit of optimism when the reality we face is one in which it is more and more difficult to trust those closest to you? How do we all start moving towards respecting one another, the relationships we are in and the families we are trying to build?

[1] Text Messages

[2] 13:00min until the end Eve Ensler on Security

Random Thought...

I am a fan of PD's of A, however, when it crosses over into slurping and sucking one another's faces off in public, it has undoubtedly CROSSED the line. GET A ROOM for Pete's sake!

Why not?

I vaguely remember a time when I was carefree about relationships. It did not matter whether I was in a relationship or not. This time was many moons ago. An eternity ago or so it seems. During our younger years, many of us did not worry about who was by our side, about whether or not he or she danced with someone else at the school dance, about who broke up with who and if we did care, it was only for a split moment and then those cares were gone with the wind. Looking back, it seems like we were made of rubber so when we fell, we easily got back up and moved forward.

Sadly, as we get older, it takes us longer to get back up after a fall. The rubber has evolved to porcelain or glass. It is much more difficult getting into a relationship because you are more vulnerable to being let down and broken. Heartbreak could possibly be just around the corner. Why take the jump, the leap of faith, of opening your heart to someone else when most relationships near and far are being destroyed by selfish, meaningless moments of instant gratification?

Why is it that if we know how horrible it feels to give of yourself 100% and then to be crushed if the other person takes advantage of your trust, would we turn around and take advantage of someone else’s trust? Why not work extra to keep your relationship intact? Why not understand the meaning of karma and respect your partner by treating them the same way you expect to be treated? Why not realize the importance of having a meaningful, trusting, long-term relationship? Why not try experiencing a pure relationship, where outside forces do not penetrate the walls of your house of love?

Why not?

Inspired by the following quote…“When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes, you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” ~Carry Bradshaw, Sex and the City, Season 6, Episode 82 “The Catch”


Deep in Thought..

Photographer: Pepper Negron
Hair, Make-up & Styling: Carolina Lizana Lamarca

Why so Many Divorces?

What are some of the major causes of divorce in the young couples of today? Many people in their late 20s are getting married and within 2 years are getting divorced. Why is that? Is it due to differences in values? Not meeting expectations? Financial issues? Change of Heart? Family pressure? Combination of many things? I would sincerely like to understand this 'epidemic' for a lack of a better word.

I am Yours and You are Mine

“I bet you’ve had a hard time walking into a room full of people on your own, right? I know what it is not to feel like you’re in the room until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your own expense. Just to let everyone know you’re with him. You’re his.” ~Patricia (The mother played by Kathy Bates) in the movie P.S. I Love You.

I have heard that when you are in love, you could be in a room full of people, yet feel completely and utterly alone, if the person you love is not there. Your very purpose for getting all dressed up and smelling extra special is so that your significant other, your other half, could notice you. For some odd reason, it does not really matter that every single person tells you that you look great, that your outfit is on point, that your perfume is phenomenal, if your “special someone” doesn’t get a chance to mention it. You do appreciate those comments, but the icing on the cake is when your loved winks at you, give you that smile you had been waiting for, brushes his cheek against yours and whispers softly in your ear, “Darling, you look perfect.”

Why is that? Why do we yearn for that approval? Why does it make our day/evening/weekend to be recognized by this single person? Also, why are we not complete until he is by our side? Is it due simply to sheer recognition? Recognition of who you are in his life? Why does it make us feel at ease to know that he is letting the rest of the world know that you are his and he is yours? In Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve wrote about a man’s need to “Profess,” or claim you as his and how this shows that he truly loves you. “If your man loves you, he’s willing to tell anybody and everybody. ‘Look, man, this is my woman’ or ‘this is my girl,’ ‘my baby’s mama,’ or ‘my lady’.” {Page 21} Women may innately feel better about the relationship and themselves when their man is professing / claiming / showing the world that they are a couple.

Do men feel the same way? Do they seek similar approval from their lady? Would it matter more if 10 people (other women) told him he had a nice jacket/tie/pair of kicks, or if his girlfriend/fiancé/wife was the only person that mentioned it? Does a man want to know that his woman will stand by his side in a room full of people and show every single person in there (especially the men) that she is not available, that she is proud of being in a relationship with him?

Are we all the same when it comes to receiving recognition?

By Your Side by Sade

By Your Side by Yves Larock ft Jaba

Syleena Johnson - Guess What

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CjFuyA4-aM

Love is patient and kind; Love envies not, nor is she haughty or proud. Love offends not; she seeks nothing for herself, and is not easily provoked. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Love never fails. –Gospel of Paul

How does one obtain blind faith in relationships? Possibly through Time, Practice & Patience. This dance is an incredibly amazing rendition of the constant push and pull in relationships, the dance of love making. Utterly breathtaking.

Making Love in Dance

Mind-boggling thought of the day

Mind-boggling thought of the day...I think that after traumatic, life changing episodes in someone's life; they would undoubtedly become a better person. With the understanding that life is to short to be downright MEAN. Unfortunately, some people take these negative experiences&turn them into a life of negativity, where they try to ruin everyone else's life, to make themselves feel better. I think people need to stop being rude & conniving towards others and let us all live happier lives!

Healthy vs. Not-so-Healhy Relationships

In a healthy relationship, you:

Treat each other with respect
Feel secure and comfortable
Are not violent with each other
Can resolve conflicts satisfactorily
Enjoy the time you spend together
Support one another
Take interest in one another's lives: health, family, work, etc.
Have privacy in the relationship
Can trust each other
Are each sexual by choice
Communicate clearly and openly
Have letters, phone calls, and e-mail that are your own
Make healthy decisions about alcohol or other drugs
Encourage other friendships
Are honest about your past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate
Know that most people in your life are happy about the relationship
Have more good times in the relationship than bad


In an unhealthy relationship, one or both of you:

Try to control or manipulate the other
Make the other feel bad about her/himself
Ridicule or call names
Dictate how the other dresses
Do not make time for each other
Criticize the other's friends
Are afraid of the other's temper
Discourage the other from being close with anyone else
Ignore each other when one is speaking
Are overly possessive or get jealous about ordinary behavior
Criticize or support others in criticizing people with your gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, disability, or other personal attribute
Control the other's money or other resources (e.g., car)
Harm or threaten to harm children, family, pets, or objects of personal value
Push, grab, hit, punch, or throw objects
Use physical force or threats to prevent the other from leaving

Source: Columbia.edu site

Married and Bored or Single and Lonely

How much truth is in this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6X0Qqxx3f0


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U1QJpJ1ULA

This Cat Betrayed His Girlfriend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3sX30NubTs

Are all men dogs?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY0ptwrR_zI

Survey Time!

Would you allow your significant other to have a roommate of the opposite sex?

Can you be be fulfilled in a relationship where you see marriage in your future, but your partner does not think they ever want to be married? Is it that they do not see themselves ever getting married...or that maybe they do not see themselves getting married to you?

Why must we nit-pick?

"In humans, nit-picking can ruin a perfectly good evening, not to mention a relationship. Women are known to be more verbal than men, but when does criticism that is constructive, become destructive. Are there times when the ladies should just shut the f*ck up?" ~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & the City, Season 6, Episode 78 "Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little"

Thefreedictionary.com provides the following definition for Nit-Picking: (n.) Minute, trivial, unnecessary, and unjustified criticism or faultfinding

When thinking about the definition of this word and the usual aftermath of the act, why do we nit-pick? In the example above, Carrie expresses that women tend the nit-pick, but I would like to point out that both men and women can be harsh when it comes this type of "constructive criticism". Why is it that everything in a relationship could be going GREAT and we always seem to find a little something to pick at? Maybe it's a word that is used in a conversation, a small action that one of us finds annoying, whatever it may be, we simply cannot let it go. We must bring it up and then bring it home! Could this minute thing be so important to us that we cannot move on without bringing it up? Is it that we need to find fault in our partners to make us feel good about ourselves?

I know I am not a saint with this one because I too am guilty of ruining a great day/evening because of something so trivial that could have and maybe should have been overlooked. Will it matter in 5 years? Will it really even matter in 5 minutes? In trying to be constructive while criticizing, sometimes people cause more harm that good. As much as it bothers you inside and makes your blood boil that some particular comment was made, is it better to just let it simmer a little longer and eventually move on, or will it keep boiling until you explode?

There are many important, maybe even life changing events that take place in our lives and in the lives of those around us. Wouldn't it be better to focus our energy on the things that really have an impact on who we are as a person? Or can you simply not concenstrate on the bigger isses until you resolve all of the little things that bother you? I've noticed that people nit-pick at most things President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama say, do, wear, etc. Is it just in our nature to do this? Do we have nothing better to do with our time that criticize what (in the grand scheme of things) is negligible? Maybe we are insecure about these small things in ourselves and it makes us feel better about our own actions? Can we look at the overall good in others and put aside their insignificant faults?

Can this act of constantly picking at small things that bug you ruin a relationship?

Facebook Manners And You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iROYzrm5SBM

Who Should Make The First Move?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIKyiKzQwMU

Brokenhearted Girl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0csLlzdhAPk

The Perfect Present

When is it appropriate, if ever, to talk about past relationships? Should the past just stay in the past? Or does knowing the good, bad and ugly about the last relationship, help one progress in the new relationship? Should the ex-file stay locked away in a dark desk drawer? Or do you like to poke around, ask questions and wonder about your lovers ex(s)? Do you, like Charlotte, believe that "you have to know where s/he has been, so you know what you're getting?" Or do you agree with Samantha that "as long as what you get doesn't itch," the history should not matter? Do you think that finding out how the last relationship ended, is telling of that relationship dynamic or how your relationship will turn out? Or should you skip all of the drama and just start fresh?

"He has a past, I have a past, do our pasts really have to have a present? At a certain age, we've all had relationships that are far from past perfect, but how much does that past relationship affect our dream of a future perfect. Can you get to a future if your past is present?"
~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City, Season 6, Episode 77, "The Perfect Present" http://www.hbo.com/city/episode/season6/episode77.shtml

If you are serious about moving on, do you just have to completely let go of the past?

Great Sexpectations

"We are aware as smart, single women, that we can't expect perfection. Life still manages to throw us curve balls. Maybe, once you are into your mid thirties, it shouldn't be called 'Dating'. It should be called 'Waiting for the other shoe to drop.' If it's not the sex between me and you, then someone has to become a Jew. Why is it always something?"

~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City, Season 6, Episode 76, "Great Sexpectations" http://www.hbo.com/city/episode/season6/episode76.shtml

Time to Let Go!!

Rise and Grind good people! Its been a great week, so were going to finish it off right! Today's Daily Word is dedicated to letting go! One of the bad habits that we as humans continue to have is the habit of thinking that everything or anyone that passes through our life suppose to be there for a lifetime. We hold on too much to the past as well as things that are not necessarily good for us and try our best to justify this. We need to learn to let go! Sometimes letting go will be the best decision we've made in our life! The past is said and done and right now it is what is. Stop trying so hard to make things work! Let go and live life!! Strength comes from the courage of moving on! It comes from having the guts to know what is right for you and what you deserve! Its time to let go! And make room for what's yet to come!!

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."
-Hermann Hesse


"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."
-Unknown

"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life."
-Unknown


"Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go."
-Oprah Winfrey

"You don't need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding."
-Guy Finley

"Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values."
-Dalai Lama

"Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?"
-Unknown


The "Daily Word" is bought to you by Ash'Cash and The Ash Cash Show and is comprised of inspirational quotes that will help you have a productive and prosperous day. Please forward this to anyone you want to wish Good Morning to.

Don't forget to visit us at www.TheAshCashShow.com, where you can receive daily news that affect our community, success profiles of men and women that are similar to you and I, and many many more valuable information that can financially reeducate ourselves and our community

Relationship Longevity...is it possible?

What is the point of having a long-term relationship? Why even consider getting married especially knowing that 50% of all marriages end up in divorce? Even though there are some risks in being involved in a long-term relationship (i.e., potential heart-ache, pain and some stress), it definitely has its advantages, some of which are listed below:
• having a long-term partner may be a meaningful psychological resource in terms of having a partner with whom to share life events;
• having someone to turn for emotional support and comfort.
• to raise children and pass on family traditions;
• and in our society, the pooling of resources may make it easier to afford material possessions such as a desired house [1]

That being said, why not give it a try. In thinking of longevity when it comes to relationships, what does it take? Most relationships start out in pure bliss: numerous dates, perfect behavior, butterflies in the stomach, long conversations, and great sex. Over time, some of these things start to fade. Why is that? People get comfortable, busy schedules take over, late night conversations just don’t seem as appealing, other options seems more appealing (although the grass isn’t always greener on the other side) and some couples stop working as much on making it work.

In Sex and the City, Season 4, Episode 74 “I Love a Charade,” Carrie Bradshaw brings up this great point: “What does it take to make a relationship work ‘til death do us part? Most singles have more long-term success with friends so maybe it is a better strategy to marry a friend. However, in the absence of sex when that’s the arrangement, or that’s just what happens after a few years, what distinguishes this companion from your many other companions? When it comes to saying “I do,” is a relationship, a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu” (aka: that special something that gives you butterflies in the stomach)?

There are many ways to keep the “zsa zsa zsu” in a relationship, but it takes dedication and sometimes: hard work. Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free suggests setting 20 minutes aside each week to talk about your relationship. “To make any of these relationships meaningfully last, Judith Wallerstein proposes that any “…good marriage is built on a series of sequential psychological tasks that the [the partners] address together.” She identifies nine tasks. They include:
1. separating emotionally from the family of origin and investing in the marriage;
2. building togetherness while maintaining individual autonomy;
3. becoming a parent;
4. effectively managing the inevitable crises of life;
5. building within the relationship a sense of safety for the expression of differences and conflict;
6. maintaining a loving sexual relationship;
7. applying humor in appropriate ways and keeping the relationship interesting;
8. creating an atmosphere conducive to nurturance, comforting an encouragement, and vulnerability;
9. and preserving the early relationship idealizations while simultaneously accepting the realities that presently exist. [2]”

So how have you and your partner made your relationship work?

Sources:
[1] & [2] http://www.psychologicalassoc.com/John%20and%20Constance%20--%20What%20Makes%20Relationships%20Last.html

http://alovelinksplus.com/advice/rinatta_paries/what_makes_love_last.htm

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=8319607

Girlfriend Doesn't Realize Boyfriend is on Vacation

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1918771

Keeping the Hope Alive

"How do you bounce back when reality batters your belief system and love does not, as promised, conquer all? Is hope a drug we need to go off of, or is it keeping us alive? What’s the harm in believing?"

(~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & The City, Season 5, Episode 68) "Unoriginal Sin"

This episode like many others in this series covered some tough, but relevant relationship issues. With all of the self help, positive affirmation and optimism tooting books, videos and seminars out there, why is it still so difficult for some people to live in the now and keep the hope alive for a better future? How and why do we continue to endure emotional strife on roller coaster relationships without going insane? In the past week I have heard of people a couple of individuals that were married 2-3 times and decided they did not want to try again. After a couple of failed relationships, do you just become immune…scared…numb…hopeless?

In a previous episode, Samantha catches her love interest, Richard, cheating on her. While in the act, he tells Samantha “it’s just sex, I love you. He blamed his actions on being scared of falling too deep. Have you ever been cheated on (that you know about)? Did you or would you ever be able to forgive someone who has broken your heart this way?

When you believe so deeply in a relationship and it ends up breaking your heart, how do you pick up the pieces and keep it moving?

Anchors Away

"Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were, to become who you will be." (~CB, S&TC, Season 5, Episode 67) "Anchors Away"

Destiny

"Is it all pre-destined? Can you make a mistake and miss your fate? Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love or be who we are. After all, seasons change people come into your life and people go, but it's comforting to know, the ones you love are always in your ♥ "

(~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and The City, Season 4, Episode 66)

"This Type Love" by Shihan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5WgmbMW7Ek

I want a love like
Me thinking of you
Thinking of me thinking of you type love
Or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself
About how I feel about you type love
Or hating how jealous you are
But loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
Or see how your first name just sound so good next to my last name
And shit I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you
And I barely made it out of my garage

See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep
And wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love
Or who loves the other more
Or what she’s doing this exact moment
Or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts
Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good
Could hurt so much when she’s not there
And shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love
And check this, I want to place those little post-it notes
All around the how she she never forgets how much I love her type love
And not have enough ink in my pen to write all there is to love about her type love
And hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel

And I want to deal with my friends making fun of me
The way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love
Only difference is, this is one of those real love type loves
And just like in high school
I want to spend hours on the phone not saying shit
And then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me
And smell her all up in my covers type love
I want to try counting the ways I love her
And lose count in the middle just so I have to start all over again
And I want to celebrate one of those one month anniversaries
Even though they ain’t really anniversaries
But doing it just ‘cause it make her happy type love
And, check this, I want to fall in love with the melody the phone plays
When none of us dialed into it type love
And talk to you until I lose my breathe
She leaves me breathless
But with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me

I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan
To something allows me to talk to her longer
‘cause in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves
And I want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are
I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time
To love you as long as I’d like to type love
And I want a love that makes me st-st-st-st-stutter
Just thinking about how strong this love is type love
And I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair
Well, maybe not all of the hair
Maybe like I cut the split ends and trim my moustache
But it would still be a symbol of how strong my love for her

And check this, I kind of feel comfortable now
So I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light
Just dying to get hit by a car
Just so I could lose my memory
Get transported to some third world country just to get treated
Then somehow meet up again with you so I can fall in love with you
In a different language and see if it still feels the same type love
I want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is
But I’m married, so she’s gonna be the one I share this love with

And Eat It Too...

By: Kyle A. Turner
E-mail: MisterTurner@gmail.com
Website: http://esteemed.blogspot.com


"I see her everyday
But it really shouldn't be a surprise
Still when she sits down
And she almost caught me looking
So I turn away
Trying not to stare
While the woman in my dreams
I still see her from this morning
Where there was an unmade bed
And the room smelled of love and sleep
But like a mystery she's here
In my thoughts
Intruding, welcome
While my baby like infant
But a lot older
Sits in her crib in my mind
Fighting for time
In the DMV line
But the one in my mind
Not where you sign the dotted line
For the privilege to hear transmission grind
And peel from the curb like orange rind
Where it sits on the pavement
But wheels don't spin enough to move me
Not far enough away
Like the last song I play
She stays in my head for the rest of the day
While the angel prepares a feast
Adding in special ingredients
Love and trust
I want it
But I want some of the other confection
As I watch a mocha colored drop of perfection
She offers me the fork for a taste
And the baker of my heart
Stands waiting for my chair
Sits playing with her hair
Her cake was always the most rare
With a cocoa center
Vanilla smile
The sweetest frosting in the middle
And I could never help dipping my finger in first
Before I dove in to get a mouthful
Of that chocolate middle
I take the fork
But not before I hear my stomach growl from within
And the artist of my soul's oven
Still stands with her back turned
Un knowing of the temptation in my vision
And why would I tell her
I still want it crave it
From her
For me
But if I want conflict
Can't sleep
And it's tough because
IN the end all I see is you
But she comes over too
And it wouldn't have mattered
Not what I did or said
When you let your cake burn
It never tastes the same
And she felt just that
And that's when resentment came
And the quality would suffer
And yes I noticed the change
Even preoccupied with another
Because my hearts in her kitchen
But a couple of levels down
She sat there too
And the path to the man's love muscle
Is paved with the food she makes
But that doesn't account for mistakes
And I can't help wanting both cakes
And if you think me greedy
Not obese in stature
Just in appetite
And I'm fully aware of the opposite of right
So I let her walk away
And tasted what I wanted anyway
Will you think me stupid
If I turn my back
On what's in front
For what's on the other side of temptation's door
I won't blame you
Because the plate is now bare
The kitchen is empty
And cold from when she turned off the oven
I retrace my steps
And so with regret
I put the fork down
And try my hardest to forget..."

In love? It's not enough to keep a marriage, study finds

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) – Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love.

A couple's age, previous relationships and even whether they smoke or not are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last, according to a study by researchers from the Australian National University.

The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples -- married or living together -- from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.

It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.

Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage -- either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship -- having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.

Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.

A couple's parents also have a role to play in their own relationship, with the study showing some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.

Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.

Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband -- not the wife -- was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.

And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.

Factors found to not significantly affect separation risk included the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife's employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.

The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090714/lf_nm_life/us_couples

Do Cultural Differences Affect Intimate Relationships?

In this melting pot of a world we live in, I find it important to embrace people of different cultures, backgrounds, family upbringing, etc. In order to be a well rounded person in this increasingly globalized society, we must understand that cultural distinctions make this world a better place. I love diverse languages, music, dance styles, healing methods, clothing and everything that comes with being raised by parents that were born outside of the United States. For my age, I feel like I have traveled a good deal around the world, I have lived in three different countries, I speak three languages (studied a fourth at my University), and I greatly enjoy the learning about other cultures. When thinking about a future husband though, I always wonder what it would be like raising a family with someone that is not Dominican.

In speaking to a Latina friend of mine, this question (among many) came up: how do cultural differences affect your intimate relationships? She is dating a Latino from a different cultural upbringing and, the distinctions are vast, to say the least. Even though Spanish is their native tongue, the dialects are completely different and surprisingly, a slight language barrier exists. Foods, music, (we won't get into religious beliefs...stay tuned as that will be another posting), and family relations, among other important aspects are different, but could the differences cause turmoil in their home when building a life together?

Many children now-a-days can't really identify what their race is and I've actually heard little kids call themselves “Mutts”. Some children raised in households where the parents speak two different languages either only learn one language or they learn both, half-heartedly that is (i.e., Spanglish). Are we causing these children a disservice by confusing them about what language to speak, Holiday to celebrate, food to eat, and/or culture to appreciate? Or are we, in fact, expanding their horizon?

How successful are relationships where the partners grew up in an essentially different world? Is it just easier to be part of a relationship where you 'blend in'? When there is a family function for 2 people with different races, does everyone generally mix or is it more common to see the room divided (and I mean before the drinks)? Would you prefer to be with someone of your own ethnic upbringing or does it not matter to you? Why?

With more and more children being born into multi-racial families, is this world going to inevitably become Caramel? On questionnaires that ask you to list your race, will we soon see a little box to check off next to the words "I don't really know" or "Too may to List"? Or are these questionnaires going to have to entirely do away with the question of Race? When looking at the grand scheme of things, it's obviously not impossible as there are many successful, beautiful, multi-racial families. However, is it just one additional factor to consider and possibly an unnecessary stress to an already stress-filled relationship?

thoughts?

trying to bring some spice in your life...
;-)

When is it right?

"Does anybody really know when it's right? And how do you know? Are there signs, fireworks? Is it right when it feels comfortable or is comfortable a sign that there aren't any fireworks? Is hesitation a sign that it's not right or is it just a sign that you're not ready? In matters of love, how do you know when it's right? How do you know when it isn't right?" -C. Bradshaw S&TC, S4 E60, "Just Say Yes."

Compromising

"Relationships, no matter how good are inevitably a series of compromises, but how much of ourselves should we be willing to sacrifice for the other person before we stop being ourselves. In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?" Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City, Season 3 Episode 57 (Sex and the Country)

Great marriages don’t just happen

“Sharon and I have a great marriage – not perfect, but great. Why? We read about marriage, we go to marriage retreat weekends, we date weekly, we sometimes take a Sunday school class on marriage, and we even meet once in a while with a friend who is a Christian marriage counselor. Do we do all these things because our marriage is weak? No, we do all these things to make our marriage great. We have a great marriage because we work at it, make it a priority, and seek knowledge on marriage. Great marriages don’t just happen.”

Excerpt from “The Total Money Makeover” by Dave Ramsey
Page 80

On the Kitchen Table

"I knelt down and gradually took off his clothes, and I saw his penis there, sleeping and unresponsive. This didn't seem to bother him, and I kissed his inner part of his legs, starting at his feet. His penis slowly began to respond, and I touched it, then put it in my mouth and -- unhurriedly, so that he wouldn't interpret this as: "right, get ready for action!" -- I kissed it with all the tenderness of someone who expects nothing in return, and for precisely that reason I got everything I wanted. I saw that he was getting excited, and he began to touch my nipples, circling them with his fingers and he had on that night of total darkness, making me want to have him again between my legs or in my mouth or whatever way he wanted to possess me.

He didn't take off my jacket; he had me life face forwards, with the upper part of my body bent over the table, and my feet still on the floor. He penetrated me slowly and unhurriedly this time, no longer afraid of losing me, because, deep down, he too had realized that this was a dream and that it would always be a dream, and would never become reality.

At the same time as I felt him inside me, I was aware of his hand on my breasts, my buttocks, touching me as only a woman knows how. Then I knew that we were made for each other, because he could be a woman, as he was now, and I could be a man, as when we talked or when we initiated that joint search for the two lost souls, the two missing fragments needed to complete the universe.

As he simultaneously penetrated and touched me, I felt that he was doing this not to me, but to the whole universe. We had time, tenderness and mutual knowledge. Yes, it had been good to arrive carrying two suitcases, and to be immediately thrown to the floor and penetrated with the kind of fearful urgency; but it was good too knowing that the night would never end and that there, on the kitchen table, orgasm wasn't a goal in itself, but the beginning of the encounter.

He stopped moving inside me while his fingers worked quickly and I had one, two, three orgasms in a row. I felt like pushing him away, for the pain of pleasure is so intense that it hurts, but I resisted: I accepted that this was how it was, that I could withstand another orgasm or another two, or even more...

...and suddenly, a kind of light exploded inside me. I was no longer myself, but a being infinitely superior to everything I knew. When his hand took me to my fourth orgasm, I entered a place where everything seemed at peace, and with my fifth orgasm I knew God. Then I felt him beginning to move inside me again, although his hand had still not stopped, and I said "Oh God," and surrendered to whatever came next, Heaven or Hell.

It was Heaven. I was the earth, the mountains, the tigers, the rivers that flowed into the rivers that flowed into the lakes, the lakes that became the sea. He was thrusting faster and faster now, and the pain was mingled with pleasure and I could have said: "I can't take any more," but that would have been unfair, because, by then, he and I were one person.

I allowed him to penetrate me for as long as it took; his nails were now digging into my buttocks, and there I was face down on the kitchen table, thinking that there wasn't a better place in the world to make love. Again the creak of the table, his breathing growing ever faster, his nails bruising me, my sex beating hard against his, flesh against flesh, bone against bone, and I was about to have another orgasm, and so was he, and none of this, absolutely none of this was a LIE!

"Come on!"

He knew what he was saying, and I knew that this was the moment; I felt my whole body soften, I ceased to be myself--I was no longer listening, seeing or tasting anything--I was merely feeling.

"Come on!"

And I came at the same moment he came. It wasn't eleven minutes, it was an eternity, it was as if we had both left our bodies and were walking joyfully through the gardens of paradise in understanding and friendship.

Time returned, I heard his shouts and I shouted with him, the table legs beat on the floor, and it didn't occur to either of us to wonder what the rest of the world might be thinking.

And suddenly he withdrew from me and laughed; I felt my vagina contract, and I turned to him and I laughed too, and we embraced as if it were the first time we had made love in our entire lives."

"Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coehlo Pages 259-262

The relationship within

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=539291902636&ref=nf

Honey, where is your G-Spot?

Why is it that most couple's do not openly discuss their sexuality? Important aspects of their sex lives such as what makes them feel good...what they don't like...what they wish their partner would do....or...not do, are all semi-taboo topics that intimate partners rarely discuss. Sex is something that is incredibly significant in a relationship, so why do we shun conversations about how to improve our sex lives? Is it because we don't have time to discuss? Or is it because we think we know what we're doing? Or are we scared to find out that we are not pleasing our partner sexually?

I recently finished a book called "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coehlo that openly discusses the topic of Sex. He explores the life of a young prostitute called Maria. "In [Maria's] personal experience, the desire to have a good orgasm with one's partner lasted only for the first few years; then the frequency of orgasms diminished, but no one talked about it, because every woman thought it was her problem alone." I don’t believe it should only be a woman's problem. She should be able to discuss her sexual needs, wants & fantasies with her partner. I've heard that most people don't know how to please a woman in bed (which at times includes the woman herself), so the book goes into detail about how to take on this task. A quiet librarian in the book asks the question: "Do you know what the G-spot is?" When comparing it to a building, Mr. Coehlo describes the location of the G-spot: "As you go in on the first floor, the back window."

Most of the women I have spoken to about this taboo topic, or articles I have read, explain that it is very difficult, if not impossible for them (women) to have an orgasm through penetration alone. The quiet librarian in the book states the following: "We've got to go back to the basics, to what has always given us pleasure: the clitoris and the G-spot! Very few women enjoy a satisfactory sexual relationship, so if you have difficult in getting the pleasure you deserve, let me suggest something: change position. Make your lover lie down and you stay on top; your clitoris will strike his body harder and you -- not he -- will be getting the stimulus you need. Or rather, the stimulus you deserve! If you rub your finger around [your clitoris] without touching the actual tip, you can experience even more intense pleasure. So take note! Men who do respect a woman's body immediately touch the tip, not knowing that this can sometimes be quite painful. Try to think of your clitoris as the hands of a clock and ask your partner to move it back and forth between eleven and one, do you understand?"

So, that being said, I believe that before all of the action takes place, the most important thing to do is to discuss your sexual needs and wants with your partner. In the book "Act Like a lady, Think Like a Man", Steve Harvey suggests to discuss the topic while in the act. Don't wait until you are at the dinner table, or in the middle of an argument to bring up changing your partners bedroom repertoire. Steve Harvey states that "When you question our sexual abilities, we [men] get really nervous and really self-conscious really quickly." Bring up the topic while you are in the middle of love making. "Say something like, 'oh, I like it when you do this,' or "that's nice baby, now do it this way,' and watch him go to work." Bring it up with care and as long as your partner is willing to work with you, you will both have a pleasurable sexual relationship with one another.

"Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coehlo Pages 221-forward

"Act Like a lady, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey pages 215-216

Email me at FreeHeartsAndMinds@gmail.com if you are interested in receiving a free copy of "Act Like a lady, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey.

Do you think people could change?

Or do people just put up a front to try to win someone over and then go back to their ways?

THE TWELVE TYPES OF FEMALES

Not sure the source....but it's a pretty good read.

1. Ms. Gold-Digger

Advantages
a. You have some one to manage your money.
b. She always looks good.
c. She makes your other boys jealous.
d. She makes you look good.

Disadvantages
a. When you get broke she'll be gone and take what you have left.
b. She makes sure she has a child by you to sue you for child support.
c. Once your boy comes up she'll be on his arm the next day.


2. Ms. Freak (secret lover)

Advantages
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She'll try everything more than once.
c. You're never unsatisfied.
d. She'll do all the things your girl won't do.
e. She doesn't mind being your freak, as long as she catches one too.

Disadvantages
a. Eventually, because she's a female, she'll end up catching feelings.
b. She starts to act like she's your "main".
c. She fucks wit ya boy and acts like your in the wrong for telling her that she's a freak.
d. Eventually her shit gets old and you need a replacement.


3. Ms. Independent

Advantages
a. You don't have to worry about buying her anything. She got it.
b. She's intelligent, sassy, confident and determined.
c. She's great for (business) conversation.
d. She keeps it real and has goals.
e. She knows how to please a man.

Disadvantages
a. She will continuously let you know that she can handle it on her own.
b. She will eventually say fuck you and get a vibrator.
c. She will consider you another one of her play toys or goals.


4. Ms. Dyme

Advantages
a. She's top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a "model".
e. Gets you on hard whenever you see her.
f. All the girls envy her, but she doesn't care.

Disadvantages
a. She's superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She's probably dumb as hell and if she's not her personality is dry.
d. You have to constantly keep your game up because every guy is gonna try to get her.


5. Ms. Tomboy

Advantages
a. She's cool and laid back.
b. She'll be willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course, she loves sports.
d. Her body is athletically divine.
e. She's easy to talk to and fun to be around.
f. She's a diamond in the rough.

Disadvantages
a. She'll remind you too much of your boys.
b. She might not want to change her appearance.
c. She might actually beat you in basketball, football, and track.


6. Ms. Ghetto

Advantages
a. She's not afraid of any other female or male. She will fight to keep you.
b. She's down for you. She'll be there to bail you out of jail.
c. She's always stays fresh.
d. She can cook up a storm. She can make the best out of a bad situation.
e. She keeps it real and keeps you satisfied.

Disadvantages
a. She doesn't know how to act in public.
b. Your momma can't stand her.
c. You get into it with her every other second.
d. She's willing to fight another girl looking at you or her.
e. Her weave colors are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal.


7. Ms. Good Girl

Advantages
a. She's always there for you.
b. She's intelligent, classy, kind, sweet, and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.

Disadvantages
a. She's an A or B situation either:
A. You're not gonna get any until you're are married.
B. She said she's never done or she said she's never tried - she's sitting there telling a lie.


8. Ms. Main

Advantages
a. She is the one you respect.
b. She probably knows about the others but might not care.
c. She has all the qualities you want in a female.
d. You've been with her forever.

Disadvantages
a. She starts getting very suspicious and calls you every moment.
b. She will devise a plan to catch you in your act and then kick your ass


9. Ms. Psycho

Advantages
a. She's fun and spontaneous.
b. She's down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true. So everyone loves her.
e. She makes you feel loved.

Disadvantages
a. Don't you break up with her, she will stalk your ass.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can manipulate the hell out of you.
d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Fuckin' with her can make your life a living hell.


10. Ms. I have a Man

Advantages
a. She may have a man but she'll mess with you anyway.
b. She looks good.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.

Disadvantages
a. She'll always come crying to you about the problems with her man.
b. She'll get you caught up and then leave you anyway for her man.
c. If you piss her off she'll get her man to come beat your ass.
d. She'll unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.


11. Ms. Tease

Advantages
a. She's tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She's intelligent, athletic, respectable and SEXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you see her you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every guy wants her because she's so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.

Disadvantages
a. NO matter what you think or do you never get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that. (Unbearable)


12. MRS. RIGHT

Advantages
a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme. She is BEAUTIFUL and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.
b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy.
c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother's.
d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.
e. She believes in God and follows his virtues.
f. She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives her man an extra 10%. She can please her man in anyway- mentally, spiritually, and sexually.
h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.
i. She's always there for you, no matter what your dreams are.
j. She's not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.
k. You can talk to her and confide in her, she's your best friend.
l. You love being around her more than your boys.
m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.
n. You can have a bad argument with her and have the BEST mind numbing and passionate love making marathon ever.
o. She's always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your bullshit. But she's also intelligent enough to leave.
p. She's nothing like any other girl you've met. She's your woman.

Disadvantage
a. You've probably met her, or had her in your life, but got too consumed with all the other types of females and bullshit that you let her go.

Is Yomaris Kissable?

Be sure to Vote Yes !!! :-)

Detachable Va-jay-jays

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8FfFwtL91Q

The Break-up

"Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt N Pepa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA

“Love Sex Magic” by Ciara ft Justin Timberlake

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raB8z_tXq7A

"Never Ever" by Ciara

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9dg9hvDIzU

Knock You Down

“Knock You Down” by Keri Hilson Featuring Kanye West and Ne-Yo


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ6sp3X_LVk

Desire

"Profound desire, true desire is the desire to be close to someone. From that point onwards, things change, the man and the woman come into play, but what happens before--the attraction that brought them together--is impossible to explain. It is untouched desire in its purest state.

"When desire is still in this pure state, the man and the woman fall in love with life, they live each moment reverently, consciously, always ready to celebrate the next blessing.

"When people feel like this, they are not in a hurry, they do not precipitate events with unthinking actions. They know that the inevitable will happen, that what is real always finds a way of revealing itself. When the moment comes, they do not hesitate, they do not miss an opportunity, they do not let slip a single magic moment, because they respect the importance of each second."

Excerpt from "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coelho, Page 133

A Flat Stomach

A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, “What were you and Dad doing?”

The mother replies, “Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it...”

“Your wasting your time,” said the boy.

“Why is that?” the mom asked puzzled.

“Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.”

Two can Play at That Game!

A woman is in bed with her lover who happens to be her husband's best friend.

They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings.

Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation ...

She is speaking in a cheery voice "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye."

She hangs up the telephone, and her lover asks, "Who was that?

"Oh," she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having with you on his fishing trip."

Falling Out of Love

As time passes, people change/evolve, goals in life & future outlook progress (or not), feelings change, etc...we're human. I have noticed that with the maturity of a relationship, the more some people have to work at making 'it' work; keeping it fresh and new. The emotional bliss felt at the beginning does not necessary last a life-time. What happens when feelings change so much that you feel like you have fallen out of love?

It's hard enough telling someone you have fallen in love with them, how do you tell someone you have fallen out of love? Has this ever happened to you? Was it more or less difficult because you had already lost feelings for them? What caused you to fall out of love with your significant other? Did you think it was just a phase and did you then decide to stay together to see if it would pass? Did it pass? Or did the love fade even more? Did you just cut it off when you started feeling differently towards them? How did you let them know you were no longer in love with them? Did you have a conversation? Write a letter? Send a text message? Tell a friend/family to let them know? Just stop communicating? Or did they get the hint when you handed them the divorce documents? Did you later feel like you made a mistake and you fell back in love? Or did you realize that you had never fallen out in the first place?

Have you heard the powerful songs that exist about letting go of love? They really hit home when you are faced with the negative aspects of letting go. Below are three songs that discuss this quite emotional transition to the end of a relationship.

"Falling Out" by Keyshia Cole

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6yJ8z5xuUg

"Now That The Love is Gone" by David Guetta

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beGjncfEPt8


"Everyday I Love You Less And Less" by Kaiser Chiefs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPGZNWz0XAY

The Ripple Effect

“A painter, with a life entirely different from mine threw a pebble into the water. Small circles appeared where the pebble fell, which grew and grew until they touched a duck that happened to be passing and which had nothing to do with the pebble. Instead of being afraid of that unexpected wave, he decided to play with it.”

“Eleven Minutes” by Paulo Coelho. Pages 111-112.


It’s interesting and quite amazing how things, events, moments occur in our lives. Everything seems so random, but I believe everything happens for a deeper reason. People, in particular come into our lives at either the perfect moment, or the most inopportune time…or so we think. The ripple effect that they have in our lives is tremendous. It’s important to note how long of a ripple effect they have. How big is that wave they bring about? What do you do once someone has been introduced into your life? Do you “take pleasure in that sudden ripple that set the water rocking?” Or did the ripple start so far away that it has become so insignificant that it does not matter to you and you let them go? How does one decide whom to keep close at bay and who should not be part of their life story? Is it an unexplainable, unquestionable attraction that we are born with? I think about my close friends and family, the lost love, the passers-by and I instinctively, undoubtedly know who has caused the great big waves in my world and who was not meant to be written about in my book called “Life”.

The people I hold near and dear to me, the ones that were once boulders, causing tsunami’s in my mind and my heart, the ones I Love, will never leave my emotional being, my soul. Although they may not be by my side physically, they will always be in my heart. I hope you know who you are.

Freedom & Love

"Freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly. And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free."

Excerpt from "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coelho

Health Perks From Making Whoopee Exposed!

(Blackdoctor.org.) -- Oprah's favorite doctor, Emmet Oz, along with a large number of other reputable experts, rave having protected sex on a regular basis has many valuable health perks. They suggest people have more sex, as long as it's protected and with someone they love. But, many Americans have several reasons that keep them from having sex. For instance, "Are you from Tennessee, because you're the only ten I see" or "Baby, did you just fart, 'cause you blow me away" are just a few reasons horn dogs are denied "the mattress mambo," thus, it's health benefits. Typically, a man who tries too hard to pick up a woman is a major turn-off.

To be fair, a man can be turned off to the point of "running for cover" as well. For instance, a woman who takes too long getting ready can have her man go from being "all revved up" to dead asleep and snoring. Or being a cold fish during acts of intimacy can "take the wind right out of his sails," preventing his semen from swimming in vaginal seas. Plus, a woman who constantly criticizes her butt, boobs, thighs, belly etc. or never initiates "putting some motion to the ocean" can make men feel their women don't find them sexually appealing in general.

For almost all fish in the sea, talking about exes, gabbing too much in bed, not shaving often, never fixing one's hair as well as sporting body odor and ugly underwear can keep lovers at bay. Besides, pot-bellies, dirty fingernails and not retiring those stinky, stained sweatpants, with the homemade air-conditioning, can also leave horn balls high and dry. Oh, and big-time boozers "doin' the wang dang doodle," who have to be babysat and have their hair held back from the toilet, can certainly leave a "bad taste in one's mouth." Sadly, we have all most likely experienced how "getting wasted" can keep ourselves and our partners from being able to perform "the horizontal boggie".

Utilizing the power of a toothbrush can surely brighten-up one's sex life, too. Who wants their partner bolting out of their bed like the speed of lightening, struck by their "breath being stanky!" It is also highly recommended to keep belching, blurting out obscenities and seriousness to a minimum. Another good idea is to "spread one's wings" and crack a smile every once in a while for a person to "score" and have his or her sex life soar.

It's not an eye-opener the main reason people turn down sex with their spouses is because they're "too tired". Being "too stressed out," "feeling fat," "unattractive" and "too old" are other factors high on the list. Ironically, the reasons many people don't want to have sex can actually be relieved by lovemaking.
For one, sex can enhance people's sleep by making them catch zzzzzzzz's faster and more easily. Yay! So, you can kiss all those frustrating, restless nights tossing and turning good-bye!

Sex can also reduce stress, which is the #1 killer. That is, during orgasm, touching, massaging, oral sex and, mainly intercourse, oxytocin is released throughout people's bodies. Oxytoxin is the "Love Drug" and hormone that can make people and animals less stressed and more relaxed. It minimizes the stress hormone, cortisol, in people's bloodstreams. Plus, oxytocin acts as a bonding agent, creating emotions of closeness and exclusivity between partners.

There's yet more reason to "Oh" and "Moan!" For instance, sex can play the role of a painkiller, relieving migraine headaches, chronic lower back pain as well as cramps brought on by monthly visits from "Aunt Flow." The pain relief is due to oxytocin, endorphins and estrogen, in women, being released in people's bodies.

Merely, "having sex on the brain" can soothe pain. Research participants who fantasized about having sex while their hands were submerged in ice-cold water reported experiencing less pain and discomfort than those without having sexual escapades running around in their heads.

You might just want to let that treadmill get dusty instead of letting your sexuality get "rusty." Vigorous "sexercise" and running on the treadmill for 15 minutes daily can burn an equal amount of calories (200). However, it may be more realistic to know how many calories can be burned during intercourse that lasts for five minutes! Regardless, sex can help keep you fit and wanting to continue "doing it".

In addition, you can get "more bang for your buck" by saying "no" to expensive beautifying and age defying concoctions and "yes" to sex! Less stress from having more sex can really make people more attractive. More specifically, the youth promoting hormone, DHEA (dehydroepiandrostone) is let loose into people's bodies during sex, creating a "healthy glow" plus bright, young eyes.

If people increase their dosage of sex, they may be able to spend less time on their therapist's couch due to depression and anxiety; they can spend more time on their own and may find immense delight by "playing doctor" with their partner. Can you say, "Ah?" It is undoubtedly a blessing pleasure-inducing endorphins flowing throughout people's bodies during sexual activity can help alleviate depression and anxiety-what a load off. Besides, scientific studies also unveil people with active sex lives are happier, overall, than those barely getting any "nookie."

Have you ever been told, "Baby, you'd give me a heart attack?" Well, people need not worry about going down with a heart attack during "the act." Experts assert people's chances of dying from a heart attack during sex are less than one percent. Wouldn't that be the ideal way to go, though? Anyway, sex can actually decrease cholesterol and the risk of suffering a heart attack.

Sex can boost your immune system too by fighting off colds and flu. Subsequently, people with active sex lives are not only relieved from the misery of some illnesses, but also the highly, awkward and uncomfortable phone call to call in sick to work. In turn, there are less "headaches" for employers, also.

"Oh, Oh, Oh, Yes, Yes, Yes, More, More, More!" Having sex regularly helps maintain women's pelvic floor, resulting in a lower risk of suffering endometriosis. It also yields better control of urine flow, bowel functions, sexual arousal and experiencing the "Big O!" It is important to note you can maintain your pelvic floor by your very own via masturbating or practicing Kegel exercises. To do them, all you have to do is use the same muscles used to hold your urine. Just continue to hold those muscles for about 15 seconds, and then release and hold again.

One study showed having more sex can even decrease a woman's risk of battling Breast Cancer.
Plus, men who suffer erectile dysfunction can be up and going again and again. Those who masturbate on a regular basis create better blood flow to the penis, thus, have firmer erections in general, as long as they're healthy cardiovascularly. According to Dr. Emmet Oz., erectile dysfunction can indicate heart disease. So, men should see a specialist as soon as possible.

Back on the upside of things, men in their 20's who ejaculated five plus times a week were a third less likely to suffer Prostate Cancer. The reasoning is carcinogens in men are evicted from their bodies along with their semen during ejaculation.

In reference to Dr. Oz., having orgasms 200 times annually can make people actually live longer, by as high as six years! Therefore, it is suggested by all means you should be tending to protected, "grown folk business" four to five times in a week.

It is important to emphasize not "humping like rabbits," though. There is truly such a thing as having too much sex. For instance, tissues of men and woman's genitals are not always as durable as people may like. Therefore, sustainable damage to people's genitals is possible. Potential damage to a man's penis should surely get him to go see a doctor!

Disappointingly, Americans have lost the "Boot-Knocking Champions Title" to the Greeks while Japan came in last (http:// weird.news.about.com 2009.) Americans reportedly engage in the "sport" a measly 85 times a year, which is a glum occurrence of roughly one time every 4.3 days. The "blow" doesn't get any softer, either, considering out of the 26,000 people studied among 26 countries Americans were positioned well below the global average. The world norm is to be "bumping uglies" once every 3.5 days. So, if you're still not motivated to have sex on a regular basis given all the health benefits, "do it" for the sake of your country!

Yes, there are things our prospective mates can do to ruin our mood for sex and their chances of getting any of it. However, the male hippo tries to seduce his lady by making damn sure she sees him defecate, himself, #1 and #2 simultaneously. Next to impress, he utilizes his tail as though it was a helicopter propeller, flinging his fresh poop around and around at mighty speeds. The female hippos swoon and think he's super, sly for having the great talent of making his poop fly. Needless to say, things could always be worse-far worse!

So, you may want to let some things fly and have sex after all due to its many health perks. Yet, it is strongly encouraged to use protected sex and only share it with someone you know well and really love. Please, go to www.findarticles.com to read what people should know before they engage in any sexual activity.

Once that's done, you may want to rethink the cheesy pick up lines, long time to get ready for "the bed boogie," acts of resembling a cold fish and incessantly gabbing during lovemaking. You may also clean yourself of genital odor, put a brush thru your hair, ask your "honey" about what kinds of underwear he or she finds sexy, burn the holey, baggy sweatpants and be damn proud of your body. Plus, experts advice not allowing being tired, stressed or achy from stopping you from "getting your groove on". So, throw the freakin' "Boob Tube" out of the bedroom, take a breath mint and enjoy the "ride" on the highway to a healthier, happier, longer life. Last but not least, remember you can go solo and still receive the same benefits as those who have partners to do it for them. "Whoopee!"

FH&M Contributed by: Nakesha V. Anthony
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles.aspx?counter=34556
By Tracy Walsh, BDO Contributing Writer

What if...

What if I'm not a player, not looking to prance
Don't take my word, rather give me a chance
Want to distinguish myself from any other man
Paid attention to Obama saying YES WE CAN
We is defined as you and me together
Sure life is fine but could it be better
If your response is yes then here's food for thought
Forget all your exes and times that you fought
Clear your mind of when he said you're his pearl
Only to find out there was this and that girl
Kill beliefs for a moment that niggas ain't shit
Though all the failures at love suggest you should quit
Think back to the times yearning for a friend
Who'd stick by your side from beginning to end
Give reasons to smile, share many laughs
Show there's no shame in blunders nor in gaffes
Help to make lemonade when life hands out lemons
A shoulder to cry on, a gift from the heavens
Not saying I'm all these, maybe just parts
You acknowledged my potential right from the start
Don't let fear drive, please hand over the wheel
Why pass up a chance at the potential Real Deal
'Actions speak louder than words' is so true
Raising the volume creating this sonnet for you
Together we're a home-run, or maybe a whiff
Don't want to waste time wondering What If...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb1lKXb84SM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ25o7iYZ50&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovZGfg0Owvc

Submitted by: Alain Paultre
al32magic@yahoo.com

True Love

This video shows how inspiring true love is and that soul-mates potentially do exist.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-xpykydFOU

Spaghetti

For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

"Honey!," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce."

-Author Unknown

******

Makes you think twice...huh?

"The Alchemist" on Love

"When you are in love, things make even more sense."
The Alchemist, By Paulo Coelho, Page 100


"You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love...the love that speaks the Language of the World."
The Alchemist, By Paulo Coelho, Page 120


"One is loved, because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving."
The Alchemist, By Paulo Coelho, Page 122


"Wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure."
The Alchemist, By Paulo Coelho, Page 128


"When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there's no need at all to understand what's happening, because everything happens within you, and even men can turn themselves into the wind. As long as the wind helps, of course."
The Alchemist, By Paulo Coelho, Page 147

Cigarettes and Tampons

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she!"

True love

"True love is neither physical nor romantic. It is acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be."

~Phil John

Twin Soul

“It’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.”

Source: “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho Page 93

Similar topic: http://freeheartsandminds.blogspot.com/2008/11/what-is-soul-mate.html

Dating is Confusing

Clubbing...

I just got back from LQ's (Latin Quarters) and I had a not-so-nice experience with a guy (or two). Unfortunately, it seems like hints don't really work for some guys, so I had to share my thoughts. Thanks for listening!!



~Y

100 Facts About Guys (5/5)

100 Facts About Guys (4/5)

100 Facts About Guys (3/5)

100 Facts About Guys (2/5)

100 Facts About Guys (1/5)

Logic

"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions."

-David Borenstein

Age ain't nothin' but a number…or is it?

"When you're a young guy in your 20's women are controlling the relationship. So by the time you're an eligible man in your 30's, you feel like you're being devoured by women. Suddenly, the guys are holding all the chips." {Sex and the City, Season 1, Episode 1}

As I sit on the train, contemplating writing about the relevance of age in a relationship, I just overheard 2 ladies talking about the very same topic!! What a sign!! One of them mentioned how guys her age don't even look at her, they only want younger women (she stated she was 36). So she either has to go for younger men or much older men. Seeming a bit frustrated, she said "there's no point in even looking at the 36 year olds."

I've heard the saying "Age ain't nothin' but a number," but the truth is that, it is quite important in any type of relationship. People say that women tend to mature faster than men, so while women in their 20's believe they are ready to settle down; men in that age group are just starting to have fun. They would rather wait to tie the knot, get hitched, have a kid and "settle" down. By the time, they become ripe in their early 30's, the women in their age bracket are either married to older men, still single & possibly desperate, or have decided that they don't want to deal with the struggles of a relationship.

In the past I dated someone that was, what I consider, much older than me and eventually I realized that we were riding two different waves. Our interests were completely different and our goals/focus at that point in time were vastly different as well. Lately, I have been approached by older men that know exactly what they want in a relationship/in a woman and they are ready to get married and start a family. Now that I have matured, the men that are 5-10 years older seem more attractive than those in my age group because they’ve done all of their fooling around and seem more ready to take care of business. However, I am moving towards the “I need to focus on ME, MYSELF and I” mentality. After having been in a long-term relationship where I was convinced I wanted to get married relatively soon (within 2-3 years), now that I am recently single, I realize that I kind of like my “Yomaris time”. On the other side of the spectrum, I’ve had a couple of younger guy’s approach me and I can’t even find similar topics of interest to discuss. Then I think…“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” I’m not in the mood to help raise a semi-grown a*s man. The maturity level is simply not there, so the chemistry is OFF, non-existent, zilch!?!

Is it okay/normal for an older woman to date a younger man? If a younger woman settles down with an older man, will she eventually think “wow, why am I with this old fogey?! We have nothing in common!!” Why do men tend to wait until their 30’s to decide they are ready to settle down? Then, when they finally reach their age of reason, why do they want much younger women? Overall, why are the people of “Generation X” waiting longer to settle down? When it comes to romantic relationships, should age really matter?

Aaliyah - Age Ain't Nothing But A Number
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UP3JJHL250

How to Tell if a Guy Is Cheating

John Edwards isn't the only man to stray when he already has a fabulous woman by his side. Do the headlines have you spooked? Here are the surprising signs a dude is being unfaithful.

By Holly Eagleson

1. He’s superprotective of his gadgets. “The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, IM chats, cell phone texts or bills,” says Belisa Vranich, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in New York City. So if he’s being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer. It should be a giant red flag if he readily gave you passwords in the past, and now he’s more evasive.

2. He steps up the grooming. “This is so obvious, but it’s a sign many women miss: If your man starts grooming down there without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he’s spending more time naked,” says Vranich. You can actually thank porn for this tipoff. Guys today are used to viewing manscaped dudes onscreen, so if he has another chick to impress with his sexual prowess, he may emulate those ultra-trimmed guys. Another clue: He’s spending more time at the gym.

3. He smells different. “When he comes home, if he doesn’t smell the same as he did in the morning, and it isn’t the scent of soap in the gym or at your home, it may be because he’s showered at her place,” offers Vranich. So pay attention, because in this case, that old saying “the nose knows” might very well be true.

4. Nothing fazes him anymore. “If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added sex and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy,” Vranich says. Adds Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships: “If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.”

5. He becomes suspicious of you. “If he’s normally a mellow type, all of a sudden he may want to know where you are all the time and with whom,” says Vranich. “It’s the result of him realizing that if he’s cheating and it’s not that hard, you might also be getting away with it.” Also, beware of extremely detailed responses to even your most innocent “How was work today?” queries. He may be preparing epic answers because he’s terrified of getting caught.

One caveat: If your sex life hasn’t fallen off, that’s no guarantee that he’s faithful. “It’s a serious mistake to think that affairs are necessarily sexual. He may just be unhappy in other parts of the relationship,” says Kirshenbaum. In fact, an illicit relationship could even stoke his lust for you.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationships/how-to-tell-if-a-guy-is-cheating?src=syn&mag=cos&dom=yah_personals&con=art&link=rel&ha=1