In speaking to a Latina friend of mine, this question (among many) came up: how do cultural differences affect your intimate relationships? She is dating a Latino from a different cultural upbringing and, the distinctions are vast, to say the least. Even though Spanish is their native tongue, the dialects are completely different and surprisingly, a slight language barrier exists. Foods, music, (we won't get into religious beliefs...stay tuned as that will be another posting), and family relations, among other important aspects are different, but could the differences cause turmoil in their home when building a life together?
Many children now-a-days can't really identify what their race is and I've actually heard little kids call themselves “Mutts”. Some children raised in households where the parents speak two different languages either only learn one language or they learn both, half-heartedly that is (i.e., Spanglish). Are we causing these children a disservice by confusing them about what language to speak, Holiday to celebrate, food to eat, and/or culture to appreciate? Or are we, in fact, expanding their horizon?
How successful are relationships where the partners grew up in an essentially different world? Is it just easier to be part of a relationship where you 'blend in'? When there is a family function for 2 people with different races, does everyone generally mix or is it more common to see the room divided (and I mean before the drinks)? Would you prefer to be with someone of your own ethnic upbringing or does it not matter to you? Why?
With more and more children being born into multi-racial families, is this world going to inevitably become Caramel? On questionnaires that ask you to list your race, will we soon see a little box to check off next to the words "I don't really know" or "Too may to List"? Or are these questionnaires going to have to entirely do away with the question of Race? When looking at the grand scheme of things, it's obviously not impossible as there are many successful, beautiful, multi-racial families. However, is it just one additional factor to consider and possibly an unnecessary stress to an already stress-filled relationship?
thoughts?
trying to bring some spice in your life...
;-)
7 comments:
I believe that cultural differences do affect relationships. There is always a misunderstanding between cultures that can have a serious effect on an intimate relationship. There is also the problem of racism, which sooner or later shows its ugly head.
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I like you all. I care deeply about you.
This is why you are my spanish Carrie Bradshaw! You work and work good! I will chime in here and say being a black man that dates white men ... It becomes a trying and difficult situation because not only do you have to deal with the gay issue but then at these family events you have to deal with but he is white and "older than Molike." Wow ... it ... Read Moreis increasingly difficult and even though people say they dont judge and make comments they do! Even though we are becoming more and more willing to accept differences I still think there are some of us who are not open to change and differences....
Very provocative to say the least, I believe that one is affected or unaffected by situations based on their outlook and realm of experience. If you are an open minded person and are willing to learn about differences then this is a optimum situation for you. Now if you are judgemental and only interested in sharing your world alone with out respect to the other persons experiences, then this is obviously going to be a detrement to the relationship and any offspring. I myself am Tri Racial if there is such a thing. I am Black, White and Native American, I married a Chinese woman in whom we are now Divorced and have a 4 year old son which is now Quad Racial if there is such a thing? Our differences had nothing to do with culture just simple things like; Communication, Respect, Appreciation etc. Personaly with out these basics no relationship can flourish? Now this is just my small opinion.
I am half Greek and half Puerto Ricaan (greek-a-rican...lol) and in my experience...no... =)
It all depends on how open the partners AND their families are to other cultures. Sometimes people are too quick to judge other cultures without trying to keep an open mind. Personally, I love learning about and being surrounded by various cultures. My present relationship is the first one outside of my culture and I have more in common with him than my exes from my culture.
I agree with DWiz. I've only been in one situation in which I felt like an outsider when it came to my ex and his culture. There wasn't a language barrier, but he did make me feel like an outsider many times b/c I couldn't communicate with his family. There were also racist stereotypes in the midst. His sister went out of her way to cook me ... Read Morefried chicken (NO LIE) b/c they felt that was what i was familiar with. I don't even eat meat! LOL. There were just too many instances of misunderstandings that were based solely on the fact that I am black and he wasn't.
Yomaris.. You bring us some very interesting points in your lastest blog.... I think the movie American Me would work well as an example of what you describe. I think cultural differences are most prevalent with American born latinos who may not have spanish as their first language. Many times they are met with disbelief and disgust. As if somehow they are not "pure" All of this has nothing to do with the type of person they are, how well they care for people, or how genuine they really are. They can't get a foot in because the other person cannot get past this cultural difference. Its too bad because its semi-hypocritical. We dont like to be discriminated against for our cultural differences, but yet tend to discriminate against cultural differences within our "own people" SMH at the last point. but many have lost out because of their refusal to see past cultural differences. Once again, in America... how Hypocritical
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