As I sit on the train, contemplating writing about the relevance of age in a relationship, I just overheard 2 ladies talking about the very same topic!! What a sign!! One of them mentioned how guys her age don't even look at her, they only want younger women (she stated she was 36). So she either has to go for younger men or much older men. Seeming a bit frustrated, she said "there's no point in even looking at the 36 year olds."
I've heard the saying "Age ain't nothin' but a number," but the truth is that, it is quite important in any type of relationship. People say that women tend to mature faster than men, so while women in their 20's believe they are ready to settle down; men in that age group are just starting to have fun. They would rather wait to tie the knot, get hitched, have a kid and "settle" down. By the time, they become ripe in their early 30's, the women in their age bracket are either married to older men, still single & possibly desperate, or have decided that they don't want to deal with the struggles of a relationship.
In the past I dated someone that was, what I consider, much older than me and eventually I realized that we were riding two different waves. Our interests were completely different and our goals/focus at that point in time were vastly different as well. Lately, I have been approached by older men that know exactly what they want in a relationship/in a woman and they are ready to get married and start a family. Now that I have matured, the men that are 5-10 years older seem more attractive than those in my age group because they’ve done all of their fooling around and seem more ready to take care of business. However, I am moving towards the “I need to focus on ME, MYSELF and I” mentality. After having been in a long-term relationship where I was convinced I wanted to get married relatively soon (within 2-3 years), now that I am recently single, I realize that I kind of like my “Yomaris time”. On the other side of the spectrum, I’ve had a couple of younger guy’s approach me and I can’t even find similar topics of interest to discuss. Then I think…“I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” I’m not in the mood to help raise a semi-grown a*s man. The maturity level is simply not there, so the chemistry is OFF, non-existent, zilch!?!
Is it okay/normal for an older woman to date a younger man? If a younger woman settles down with an older man, will she eventually think “wow, why am I with this old fogey?! We have nothing in common!!” Why do men tend to wait until their 30’s to decide they are ready to settle down? Then, when they finally reach their age of reason, why do they want much younger women? Overall, why are the people of “Generation X” waiting longer to settle down? When it comes to romantic relationships, should age really matter?
Aaliyah - Age Ain't Nothing But A Number
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UP3JJHL250
9 comments:
In the end, men will always be boys, no matter how old they are...
Yomaris, your blogs are always so insightful. So I assume I have a lot to look forward to in my 30's, since I will get to hold all the chips. Damn, if only I can age faster...
I don't think u should just write us off completely. People who are the same age or in the fairly same age range can work out.
The thing to remember is that women, unfortunately starting at about sixteen have more opportunities than men do at that age. Opportunities that aren’t open to us until we hit about twenty to twenty-one. At which point the world become a social playground. Funnily enough, that playground has been open to most women for five or so years before us. I’m not going to doubt that women mature faster than men but there are a couple of things to consider when asking why men do what they do and at what point. We may not always be right but haven dated women nine and ten years older than me who were pretty much filling a void until someone older than them came along, I can say the field is level and we’re all more or less bobbing around in the same boat.
It depends on what you are looking for and what you are willing to work with. I have dated older men and younger men. I actually prefer either extreme over someone who is the same age as me. I am the flower power anything goes, love conquers all type of woman that will deal with occasional immaturity (young or old) b/c the key factors that i want are present.
I will say that younger men definitely feed the ego of an older chick, since most younger men find it almost a bonus that they were able to get an older women since most (not all) older women tend to be more independent and easier to please. What younger men lack is that promise of long term happiness, since they are usually not ready to move on to the next level as soon as you are.
Older men are a little more difficult, in my experience, b/c they've been there, done that, and dont' want to do it again. Some older men lean towards more casual experiences. While we are falling in love with our "pop-pops", they are having a good time and don't necessarily want to progress into anything serious. You can definitely find someone with the balance you are looking for and make it happen. I'm all for dating outside your age range! I once tried to pursue this 43 yr old guy at my gym, who had a 15 yr. old daughter and a 13 yr old son. In this case the age wasn't an issue, it was his grown kids, and the thought of his ex wife's view of me.
We do need to take into consideration that some people are focused on making sure THEY are comfortable with themselves before they tie the knot. Right now, my career is more important than getting married. Some people want to be at a stage in their life where they are comfortable. So although they may love their gf/bf of 5 years, marriage is not an option at the time.
Ive dated older who was good on every level, but acted like a 16 year old when it came to committment. So age is not a huge factor when thinking about maturity and level of committment...It depends on the person.
THE THING WITH MEN AND WOMEN : the relationship needs to be complementary...what a woman looks for in an older man is stability...stability that she may herself lack, and in moving closer to someone with it, she may hope to find it in herself...an older man...younger woman...simple: he wants to stay young...it is no science experiment when an older man pursues a younger woman...she can physically satisfy me, and mentally I can lend things to her...basic equations
somewhere love fits in...
THE END
Sam, don't wish your life away...live in the moment!!
Connie wrote: "most (not all) older women tend to be more independent and easier to please. What younger men lack is that promise of long term happiness, since they are usually not ready to move on to the next level as soon as you are." I completely agree with the sentence regarding younger men. But I am not sure about the older women part. As I mature (not that I am super old), I notice that my experience is leading me to take less b.s. from people (especially men).
I completely agree with you Nicole. I want to focus on "Yomaris" for a while.
I feel you J, younger women may in fact look for stability in an older man and an older man wants to make sure he's still got it.
Thanks for reading folks!!!
do older women do the same thing ?
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