Honey, where is your G-Spot?

Why is it that most couple's do not openly discuss their sexuality? Important aspects of their sex lives such as what makes them feel good...what they don't like...what they wish their partner would do....or...not do, are all semi-taboo topics that intimate partners rarely discuss. Sex is something that is incredibly significant in a relationship, so why do we shun conversations about how to improve our sex lives? Is it because we don't have time to discuss? Or is it because we think we know what we're doing? Or are we scared to find out that we are not pleasing our partner sexually?

I recently finished a book called "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coehlo that openly discusses the topic of Sex. He explores the life of a young prostitute called Maria. "In [Maria's] personal experience, the desire to have a good orgasm with one's partner lasted only for the first few years; then the frequency of orgasms diminished, but no one talked about it, because every woman thought it was her problem alone." I don’t believe it should only be a woman's problem. She should be able to discuss her sexual needs, wants & fantasies with her partner. I've heard that most people don't know how to please a woman in bed (which at times includes the woman herself), so the book goes into detail about how to take on this task. A quiet librarian in the book asks the question: "Do you know what the G-spot is?" When comparing it to a building, Mr. Coehlo describes the location of the G-spot: "As you go in on the first floor, the back window."

Most of the women I have spoken to about this taboo topic, or articles I have read, explain that it is very difficult, if not impossible for them (women) to have an orgasm through penetration alone. The quiet librarian in the book states the following: "We've got to go back to the basics, to what has always given us pleasure: the clitoris and the G-spot! Very few women enjoy a satisfactory sexual relationship, so if you have difficult in getting the pleasure you deserve, let me suggest something: change position. Make your lover lie down and you stay on top; your clitoris will strike his body harder and you -- not he -- will be getting the stimulus you need. Or rather, the stimulus you deserve! If you rub your finger around [your clitoris] without touching the actual tip, you can experience even more intense pleasure. So take note! Men who do respect a woman's body immediately touch the tip, not knowing that this can sometimes be quite painful. Try to think of your clitoris as the hands of a clock and ask your partner to move it back and forth between eleven and one, do you understand?"

So, that being said, I believe that before all of the action takes place, the most important thing to do is to discuss your sexual needs and wants with your partner. In the book "Act Like a lady, Think Like a Man", Steve Harvey suggests to discuss the topic while in the act. Don't wait until you are at the dinner table, or in the middle of an argument to bring up changing your partners bedroom repertoire. Steve Harvey states that "When you question our sexual abilities, we [men] get really nervous and really self-conscious really quickly." Bring up the topic while you are in the middle of love making. "Say something like, 'oh, I like it when you do this,' or "that's nice baby, now do it this way,' and watch him go to work." Bring it up with care and as long as your partner is willing to work with you, you will both have a pleasurable sexual relationship with one another.

"Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coehlo Pages 221-forward

"Act Like a lady, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey pages 215-216

Email me at FreeHeartsAndMinds@gmail.com if you are interested in receiving a free copy of "Act Like a lady, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey.