The Perfect Present

When is it appropriate, if ever, to talk about past relationships? Should the past just stay in the past? Or does knowing the good, bad and ugly about the last relationship, help one progress in the new relationship? Should the ex-file stay locked away in a dark desk drawer? Or do you like to poke around, ask questions and wonder about your lovers ex(s)? Do you, like Charlotte, believe that "you have to know where s/he has been, so you know what you're getting?" Or do you agree with Samantha that "as long as what you get doesn't itch," the history should not matter? Do you think that finding out how the last relationship ended, is telling of that relationship dynamic or how your relationship will turn out? Or should you skip all of the drama and just start fresh?

"He has a past, I have a past, do our pasts really have to have a present? At a certain age, we've all had relationships that are far from past perfect, but how much does that past relationship affect our dream of a future perfect. Can you get to a future if your past is present?"
~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City, Season 6, Episode 77, "The Perfect Present" http://www.hbo.com/city/episode/season6/episode77.shtml

If you are serious about moving on, do you just have to completely let go of the past?

Great Sexpectations

"We are aware as smart, single women, that we can't expect perfection. Life still manages to throw us curve balls. Maybe, once you are into your mid thirties, it shouldn't be called 'Dating'. It should be called 'Waiting for the other shoe to drop.' If it's not the sex between me and you, then someone has to become a Jew. Why is it always something?"

~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City, Season 6, Episode 76, "Great Sexpectations" http://www.hbo.com/city/episode/season6/episode76.shtml

Time to Let Go!!

Rise and Grind good people! Its been a great week, so were going to finish it off right! Today's Daily Word is dedicated to letting go! One of the bad habits that we as humans continue to have is the habit of thinking that everything or anyone that passes through our life suppose to be there for a lifetime. We hold on too much to the past as well as things that are not necessarily good for us and try our best to justify this. We need to learn to let go! Sometimes letting go will be the best decision we've made in our life! The past is said and done and right now it is what is. Stop trying so hard to make things work! Let go and live life!! Strength comes from the courage of moving on! It comes from having the guts to know what is right for you and what you deserve! Its time to let go! And make room for what's yet to come!!

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."
-Hermann Hesse


"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."
-Unknown

"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new life."
-Unknown


"Think about any attachments that are depleting your emotional reserves. Consider letting them go."
-Oprah Winfrey

"You don't need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding."
-Guy Finley

"Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values."
-Dalai Lama

"Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?"
-Unknown


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Relationship Longevity...is it possible?

What is the point of having a long-term relationship? Why even consider getting married especially knowing that 50% of all marriages end up in divorce? Even though there are some risks in being involved in a long-term relationship (i.e., potential heart-ache, pain and some stress), it definitely has its advantages, some of which are listed below:
• having a long-term partner may be a meaningful psychological resource in terms of having a partner with whom to share life events;
• having someone to turn for emotional support and comfort.
• to raise children and pass on family traditions;
• and in our society, the pooling of resources may make it easier to afford material possessions such as a desired house [1]

That being said, why not give it a try. In thinking of longevity when it comes to relationships, what does it take? Most relationships start out in pure bliss: numerous dates, perfect behavior, butterflies in the stomach, long conversations, and great sex. Over time, some of these things start to fade. Why is that? People get comfortable, busy schedules take over, late night conversations just don’t seem as appealing, other options seems more appealing (although the grass isn’t always greener on the other side) and some couples stop working as much on making it work.

In Sex and the City, Season 4, Episode 74 “I Love a Charade,” Carrie Bradshaw brings up this great point: “What does it take to make a relationship work ‘til death do us part? Most singles have more long-term success with friends so maybe it is a better strategy to marry a friend. However, in the absence of sex when that’s the arrangement, or that’s just what happens after a few years, what distinguishes this companion from your many other companions? When it comes to saying “I do,” is a relationship, a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu” (aka: that special something that gives you butterflies in the stomach)?

There are many ways to keep the “zsa zsa zsu” in a relationship, but it takes dedication and sometimes: hard work. Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free suggests setting 20 minutes aside each week to talk about your relationship. “To make any of these relationships meaningfully last, Judith Wallerstein proposes that any “…good marriage is built on a series of sequential psychological tasks that the [the partners] address together.” She identifies nine tasks. They include:
1. separating emotionally from the family of origin and investing in the marriage;
2. building togetherness while maintaining individual autonomy;
3. becoming a parent;
4. effectively managing the inevitable crises of life;
5. building within the relationship a sense of safety for the expression of differences and conflict;
6. maintaining a loving sexual relationship;
7. applying humor in appropriate ways and keeping the relationship interesting;
8. creating an atmosphere conducive to nurturance, comforting an encouragement, and vulnerability;
9. and preserving the early relationship idealizations while simultaneously accepting the realities that presently exist. [2]”

So how have you and your partner made your relationship work?

Sources:
[1] & [2] http://www.psychologicalassoc.com/John%20and%20Constance%20--%20What%20Makes%20Relationships%20Last.html

http://alovelinksplus.com/advice/rinatta_paries/what_makes_love_last.htm

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=8319607

Girlfriend Doesn't Realize Boyfriend is on Vacation

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1918771