Relationship Longevity...is it possible?

What is the point of having a long-term relationship? Why even consider getting married especially knowing that 50% of all marriages end up in divorce? Even though there are some risks in being involved in a long-term relationship (i.e., potential heart-ache, pain and some stress), it definitely has its advantages, some of which are listed below:
• having a long-term partner may be a meaningful psychological resource in terms of having a partner with whom to share life events;
• having someone to turn for emotional support and comfort.
• to raise children and pass on family traditions;
• and in our society, the pooling of resources may make it easier to afford material possessions such as a desired house [1]

That being said, why not give it a try. In thinking of longevity when it comes to relationships, what does it take? Most relationships start out in pure bliss: numerous dates, perfect behavior, butterflies in the stomach, long conversations, and great sex. Over time, some of these things start to fade. Why is that? People get comfortable, busy schedules take over, late night conversations just don’t seem as appealing, other options seems more appealing (although the grass isn’t always greener on the other side) and some couples stop working as much on making it work.

In Sex and the City, Season 4, Episode 74 “I Love a Charade,” Carrie Bradshaw brings up this great point: “What does it take to make a relationship work ‘til death do us part? Most singles have more long-term success with friends so maybe it is a better strategy to marry a friend. However, in the absence of sex when that’s the arrangement, or that’s just what happens after a few years, what distinguishes this companion from your many other companions? When it comes to saying “I do,” is a relationship, a relationship without the zsa zsa zsu” (aka: that special something that gives you butterflies in the stomach)?

There are many ways to keep the “zsa zsa zsu” in a relationship, but it takes dedication and sometimes: hard work. Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free suggests setting 20 minutes aside each week to talk about your relationship. “To make any of these relationships meaningfully last, Judith Wallerstein proposes that any “…good marriage is built on a series of sequential psychological tasks that the [the partners] address together.” She identifies nine tasks. They include:
1. separating emotionally from the family of origin and investing in the marriage;
2. building togetherness while maintaining individual autonomy;
3. becoming a parent;
4. effectively managing the inevitable crises of life;
5. building within the relationship a sense of safety for the expression of differences and conflict;
6. maintaining a loving sexual relationship;
7. applying humor in appropriate ways and keeping the relationship interesting;
8. creating an atmosphere conducive to nurturance, comforting an encouragement, and vulnerability;
9. and preserving the early relationship idealizations while simultaneously accepting the realities that presently exist. [2]”

So how have you and your partner made your relationship work?

Sources:
[1] & [2] http://www.psychologicalassoc.com/John%20and%20Constance%20--%20What%20Makes%20Relationships%20Last.html

http://alovelinksplus.com/advice/rinatta_paries/what_makes_love_last.htm

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=8319607