The Seven Breakup Commandments

(i.e., The Seven really great Breakup Suggestions)

Number 1 Don't see or talk to your ex for SIXTY days
Number 2 Get Yourself a Breakup Buddy
Number 3 Get rid of your ex's stuff and the things that remind you of Him/Her
Number 4 Get your ass in motion every day
Number 5 Don't wear your breakup out into the world
Number 6 No Backsliding
Number 7 It won't work unless you are number ONE!

Below are some details regarding the list above:

Number 1 Don't see or talk to your ex for SIXTY days
That means CUT off ALL contact for Sixty days. Lent in 2009 will start on Wednesday, the 25th of February and will continue for 46 days until Saturday, the 11th of April…so this is the perfect time to cut off ties! If you mess up, start over. Cutting the ties cold turkey does hurt, but in the long-run, it WILL pay off. No calling or accepting calls, and absolutely no visits! There is no gray area with this one. Start a notebook and write in it daily. Start by listing the worse and great qualities about your ex and realize that he/she was NOT perfect.

Number 2 Get Yourself a Breakup Buddy
Ask a friend if they could help you through your moments of weakness and discuss the situation only with them. Try to set a time limit on how much you will babble on about your ex & then do fun things together to take your mind off the past. Call your breakup buddy if you have an urge to talk to your ex.. If you desperately need to communicate with your ex, use your breakup buddy as a liaison.

Number 3 Get rid of your Ex's stuff and the things that remind you of Him/Her
Have your breakup buddy give your ex all of their belongings. You don't want to have any memorabilia of the past (especially during the first 60 days). Try to make your surroundings feel different by redecorating or rearranging your furniture. This will give you new external cues that should provoke different feelings. And anything different from lonely or heartbroken is a huge step in the right direction.

Number 4 Get your ass in motion every day
Exercise, get out of the house, go to work (no more calling out sick!!), run errands, go to art exhibits, go dancing, volunteer, etc. Keeping yourself busy will help take our mind off of your ex.

Number 5 Don't wear your breakup out into the world
Confidence always looks good with everything. Never leave the house wearing something that you wouldn't want to run into your ex in.

Number 6 No Backsliding
No SEX with your EX! Simple!! This will only hurt you more and afterwards, you will still not be right for each other! At least you will have your dignity by not offering yourself with no strings attached to someone who DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU. Your ex should not have access to you WITHOUT the emotional responsibilities.

Number 7 It won't work unless you are Number ONE!
"You have to learn to how to love yourself, like yourself, and put yourself first before you will ever find the healthy, loving, and lasting relationship you're looking for. You are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you give up to be with that person. It's time to figure out what you want. Make a list of what you want, not just in a guy, but for yourself in life." Proclaim: "I promise to make a firm commitment to living and breathing my list [of what I want out of life] every day, in every relationship, friendship, job, and experience that comes my way, from here to eternity and three weeks beyond that."


Source: "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" by Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt. Pages 189-259