Below is part of a thought provoking conversation from Sex and The City, Season 3 Episode 48 "Cock a Doodle Doo"
"It's infuriating. Women sit around obsessing about what went wrong over and over. And men just say 'alrighty' and they just move on." -Charlotte
"It's so much easier for men to move on. The ratio of women to men in this city is huge. All they have to do is sit outside, have a beer, and wait for the Jessica's and Susan's to come to them." -Miranda
"I can guarantee that Trey isn't sitting around with his friends obsessing about what went wrong. I wish there were no men. If there were no men, then we wouldn't feel hurt and we wouldn't be disappointed and we wouldn't be spending our entire night sitting here obsessing about them. I'm so over men" -Charlotte
Do men really get over relationships much faster than women? Or are they just better at masking their true feelings? It's not in a man's nature or 'macho man' best interest to express that he too is hurting inside. He would much rather hang with his friends and discuss who got drafted to what team or what new video games hit the streets, than talk about the pain he feels inside for the great thing he lost or let go of. Most men would rather go out right away and date anything they could find so as to try to forget the memories of the love they truly long for. We are human beings. We are creatures meant to love and long for love. We ALL have feelings and emotions, so why are we conditioned to try to hide what makes us who we are? Why are women okay with opening up and expressing their love, regret, sorrow, happiness, etc. yet men feel the need to cover it up? Is it because some women think emotional men are not manly enough, or that other men may call them a ‘sissy’, or ‘homo’? Why would they rather put up a front, and just try to find the next best thing instead of working on what they had and truly may still love? As Miranda mentioned above, is it because women out number men so the latter may feel like they have it easy? At the end of the day...quantity will never surpass quality when it comes to relationships and matters of the heart. I believe it is much more fulfilling to have a few excellent relationships than to date a higher number of people and not form any true emotional and mentally stimulating bonds.
What do you think? GENTLEMEN...what do YOU think?
10 comments:
I think men go through the same things emotionally when a relationship is over. They just cope with it differently. Women are talkers by nature. If theres a problem, we like to talk everything out & fix it, which is why we turn to our friends, journals, psychics, you name it, to get closure, an explanation, or get the man back. Men are visual by nature. They distract themselves with beautiful women, sports, strip clubs, etc. Men also usually retrieve when they are feeling emotional. They pull back, detach, and dont want to talk about it. And even those men who do want to talk about it, dont express themselves fully - they talk in double meanings or are vauge. I dont believe this is the case for all men, however. I have male friends who have come to me, crying and upset, men who want to talk about their breakups. But even they dont dwell. They speak about it once or twice, get it out of their system, and for the most part, move on to another topic.
CAN'T SPEAK FOR ALL ... BUT I'VE KNOWN FEW ... MEN WHO LOV THEIR WOMAN, MEN THAT LOV THEIR CARS MORE, MEN THAT LOV THEIR SPORTS MORE ...
AND MEN THAT BECOME OBSESS WITH THEIR LOV, HENCE, TILL DEATH DO AS PART ... AND NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE U ...
BUT ME, ME, ME ...
ANYWAY AS PER UR QUESTION ...
FOR ME ... VERY EASY ... I DON'T ATTACH ANY EMOTIONAL FEELINGS TO ANY THING IN MY LIFE ...
NOTHING LAST FOREVER ... EVERYTHING COMES TO AN END ...
I LIVE EVERY DAY AS IT WERE THE LAST ONE ... I CELEBRATE THE COMPANY & BEAUTY OF WOMEN ... AND LOV EVERY MINUTE SPENT WITH THEM ...
FOR HOW LONG, LONG IS OR FOR HOW SHORT, SHORT IS ...
I HAVE EXPERIENCE DAYS WHEN I HAVE FALLEN IN LOV THREE DIFFERENT TIMES WITH THREE DIFFERENT WOMEN ... IN ONE DAY ...
HOW CAN U TRY TO EXPLAIN THOSE ACTIONS & FEELINGS ...
ALL I KNOW IS THAT MY CONSCIOUS IS CLEARED & WHEN I LOV I GENUINELY LOV ...
BUT, THIS IS ME ...
XOXOXOXOXOXO ...
I AGREE WITH SUJEIRY ...
NICELY TOLD ...
My SBC.... It has been a while ... with school and all I have not had a chance to read and comment but this one took me by the "balls" .... From a Gay Man prespective .... I totally think it has to do with how much you loved and how much love and "YOU" was put into the relationship ... It has been like 8 months or so since I played Keshia Coles song and walked away ... And I still hurt and want him back! Dam ... The power that one guy or person that you fell for has on you is somehting else...Getting over it takes time ... Lenoa Lewis says it gets better in time and it does ... It really does ... How long that time is I have yet to figure it out. ... Him ... I think he hurts as much as I do but whenever we get together it is always a game! A game to see who can make thier life more glamours and show they have moved on and not wanting the other one ...I dont know ... Sick game but I guess to say I still love him is sicker... or is it ...
Yes Us men have feelings too...but its true, we cover it up..Its something called "Male Pride"...Theres more to it for me..but TMI not for facebook ; )
I don't believe in sitting around and mourning broken relationships. To me, that's depressing and it doesn't help the situation. I think the best way to deal with a breakup is to move on. If that means moving on with someone else, a short time after a breakup...oh well...do you! I I refuse to sit around and beat myself up trying to figure out what went wrong and what I should have done differently. I love deep, but it's never deeper than the love I have for myself. I think that if a woman is crushed to pieces over a broken relationship, she needs to act like a man and pretend to not give a damn!
Im feeling DWiz on this. If you love yourself more, then it will be much easier to move on.
A-hem. Us men are actually far more emotional than women. I think the only time women get so emotional is when they feel they're at the "end of the rope" or feel they are "losing eggs." Am I mean? From my experience (I speak for myself) when a woman KNOWS she is wanted & desired by the dude she mutilates the man's heart & being. Once he starts to retreat (or come to his senses rather) she then turns on the charm & respect. Hence the cat-&-mouse game that men play, i.e "you gotta ignore her homie! etc ". I mean, it's LEARNED SOMEWHERE. So my point is (returning to my main thesis) men are in fact far more emotional than women, whether we hide it or not, it still manifests itself in the multiple flings *some* may have after the #1 in their life is no more. Men don't entirely get over hurt as quickly as it appears. Why do u think so many men are "DOGS"? I preach accountability, Yomaris, but the "dog" is nothing more than a manifestation of hurt somewhere down the line inflicted by a woman
I find some truth to that. I've had friends who tell me why they are man-whores and its usually because they were hurt by that one girl they let their guard down with.
Yeah...that is how it goes...but I am not saying that the hurt excuses our canine tendencies at all, b/c that dog can turn another innocent and defenseless woman into a bitter person and thus the cycle continues eh?
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