10% Chick

In Honor of women all over this world, I present to you the amazing writings of my friend Leigh Ann DiDomenico. Thank you Leigh Ann for sharing your words, your thoughts, your heart.

"I’m tired of being the 10% chick.
I’ve lived long enough to know that when it really comes down to it, love is rare.
And I guess I mean to say true friendship, that kind of deep unconditional connection that rests above anything else doesn’t form easy.
Its usually found in a certain type of person, with some kind of loyalty
Then with commonalities and time for connections to deepen.
So is it surprising that its taken me this long to put that together with my sexuality?
I’ve had so many experiences with so many different people in which I was expendible.
Maybe it was because they were fucking other people, maybe it was because they were more monogamous than they thought they were, maybe it was because they never really loved me anyway, they were just enamored with a pretty face or an intelligent mind and wanted to suck up some energy for a time.
But when it comes down to it, I mean really comes down to it, for someone to truly be there for you, down for you, put your needs above their own for a moment to really kick it with you, there’s got to be love.
See, recently I realized, if I can’t bring someone to the gyno with me to hold my hand during an abortion, or an uncomfortable procedure, or to get medicine, then why the hell am I fucking them?
See, STDs and unwanted pregnancies and gynecological emergencies are real things
Why would I share my pussy with someone who only wants it when its all roses and peaches and shiny things?
Why would I share that kind of intimacy with somebody who may not be truly down for me?
And then there’s my heart.
Why Ima give love and support to somebody who wouldn’t love and support me back?
If I’m the 10% chick, what happens when I need a 50% moment?
And truly, when it comes down to it, 10% isn’t much to miss.
So, its easy to say, later, fuck off, bitch, or why don’t you go sell your pussy, or you just the girl I’m fuckin.
When the goin gets rough, shit gets tough, and its apparent who’s gonna be your shoulder to cry on, your wall to lean on, and who can’t give too much, who’s gonna disappear til shit evens out.
I’ve truly been in love only once before.
And I can count my real friends on my fingers.
And I’m old enough to realize that most men who say they want to spend time with me
Are really just tryin to get me into my home or theirs alone
So its that much easier to convince me to fuck them.
And most couples who say they’re polyamorous are really just swingin, cuz that love part is missin
I’ve had a lot of sex.
I’m good at it
And I’m tired of putting in all this effort to get nothing in return.
Fuck that.
So Ima say something I never thought I’d say
Sex with me is special.
And you need to earn this pussy.
Its not gonna be given out so easy.
Cuz unless you can really please me
Or prove that you really want something deeper
Then you can step the other fuckin way
I’m real familiar with that shit
And I’m tired of it.
Love is rare.
But I’m down for it.
Been around the world and the block and have learned to value it.
And I’m tired of bein that 10% chick."