"Virginia Woolf wrote, 'Across the broad continent of a woman's life falls the shadow of a sword.' On one side of that sword, she said, there lies convention and tradition and order, where 'all is correct.' But on the other side of that sword, if you're crazy enough to cross it and choose a life that does not follow convention, 'all is confusion. Nothing follows a regular course.' Her argument was that the crossing of the shadow of that sword may bring a far more interesting existence to a women, but you can bet it will also be more perilous."
"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection." (The Bhagavad Gita, an ancient Indian Yogic text)
Excerpts from "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert - Page 95
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At some point in a everyone's life, they must decide whether they will find a mate, settle down and raise a family, or continue to live the single life and pursue their dreams. This decision is a bit different for men than women. The road a woman decides to take, leads to either the "normal" life women are "supposed" to lead, which usually means: marriage, kids, work, little play, taking care of their husband and raising a nice, happy household, retirement and inevitably, death. Otherwise, the road less traveled may bring about many, many adventures. But is is also the riskier road, a scary adventure that may lead to loneliness.
Is someone ultimately fulfilled if they are pursuing all of their dreams, but ends up alone throughout most of their adventures? Does this equate to true HappYness (refer to the film "The Pursuit of Happyness")? Do you have to give up one thing to have the other? Or can you live a life of adventure and fulfill your life/career/etc. goals while building a family and sharing yourexperiences with the love of your life? It is impossible? Or is it possible, yet difficult? What is worth more to you?
Which road would you rather travel?
3 comments:
The road to fulfillment is a myriad of different elements that ultimately "compLete" one as an individual. For some, they feel as though their whole purpose In life is to love, and to create new life.
Others feel as though they are on a quest of some pre-determined journey, and that if they can only pay attention to the right signs they will arrive at this destination of inevitability .
It's possible to have everything that you ever wanted...the issue lies in prioritizing those things in order to attain what you most cherish without compromising the possibilities...I have been told before by peers in different industries that people make the mistake of not focusing in one specific area, and they are sort of 'all over the place". My silent reply was, "Well, I'm all over the place, and why am I all over the place? It's because I don't want to waste time pursuing that one thing when my hearts yearns for all of the above...I want it all, and I believe I can have it".
I leave you with this:
"We can not become what we need to be by remaining what we are'
Thanks for listening...
JAMAL
This hits home all too well. I was raised in a household with single women-my mother who never married nor has an actual boyfriend, and my godmom who was divorced many, many yrs ago and who has yet to remarry or find a steady boyfriend. My godsis decided to get married and have kids and wasn't able to actually finish college and is now trying, very hard to go back to college and who is also dealing with a "husband" who decided to leave and have a baby with another woman. I on the other hand, although I KNEW i would be married after college, instead went on to pursue a doctorate. I am still not finished with pursuing my career path-I still have to get licensed to practice medicine and then go through training. My dream is to have a career and be married with a family. I mean why not? Why can't I? I'm beginning to think that those dreams of a husband and kids isn't going to come to me, and it saddens me deeply. I am like the above commenter..I want it ALL..And i feel I deserve all that I want. I am in my mid 20s so to many I am still young, to myself and my single girlfriends-although we don't feel old we do wonder when the marriage and family part will come. I know you are never too old. But give me a break! lol. Which on the other hand is probably a blessing because I would like to be a bit more settled in my career and be financially comfortable before I have a family. But then I wonder is that necessary, is that what the hold up is? Because I have seen many people my age who have somehow made it. But hey thats what I want for myself.
Nakesha, thanks for your thoughts and expressing yourself so openly. It is definitely a task in our day and age to have a fulfilling career and be able to live a ‘normal’ family life. It usually means that we wait until later on in life when we feel “established” and “ready,” before settling down. Unfortunately, many women have this silly little ‘clock’ that keeps ticking until it is difficult if not impossible to have children and raise the family we always dreamed of. I hope that the people who are looking for a fulfilling career as well as a family life, get to experience it and are fulfilled by their choice/fate.
I've heard so many people say that they right one will come along when you least expect it, so one never knows. Maybe you’ll find the right one while you pursue your doctorate…walking down a hall or while you are eating lunch one day. Best of luck...keep your head up girl :-)
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