Does this seem accurate to you?
Do Women Lose Their Power Once They Give Up The Goods?
"The power struggle between men and women is one that is ongoing and never-ending. Both genders come into dating with their own agendas, and this is where the miscommunication starts. Agendas may shift if the individuals involved become enamored with one another. But, from their first interaction, there is always a plan of action.
The plan of action is to achieve power over the other person and get them to lean towards their goal. Some have no intentions on abusing the power. They only want their fair share and are willing to share. Others come into the game knowing what they want from the other person and are willing to manipulate to achieve their final goal; even if it means hurting the other person.
The power shift between men and women goes as follows: In the beginning the woman is the one with the power and the man willingly gives it to her. Why? Because she has something he wants. He wants to have sex with her. His plan may shift later after he gets to know her. Then he may want to have a committed relationship. But, initially, his primary goal was to stringently pursue his plan of action: The panties. On the contrary, women go into their dealings with men with their own set of priorities. In order of hierarchy, her plan of action goes as follows: She wants his love, affection, loyalty, and sex. Notice the priority difference? Meanwhile, he is not the least bit alarmed by her having the power. In fact, he prefers it, because the power that she has is what is going to make her comfortable. This temporary power she feels is what is going to cause her to let her guard down and let the man pursuing her in. You can take that in more than one, by the way.
Eventually, the woman gives in to the desires of the man. By this point, she may also have the same strong desires, but she never once loses sight of her original plan of action. She still wants a relationship with him but she loses all of her good damn sense and makes his plan a priority over hers. So, she gives up her honey pot and hopes for the best. Now, there could be two outcomes from this. One is that their intimacy could lead the man to become more attached to the woman. That is if he already had a foundation of emotion toward her. He had to already be into her to some extent for this to happen. The second and less desirable outcome by women is that the man chunks the deuces at her.
Show of hands if you have experienced the following scenario at least once in your life, ladies:You are dating a guy, and he is perfect. He does everything for you; seems so attentive and nice. The moment you give him the honey pot his personality and demeanor toward you changes. That is because there has been a power shift. Women can literally feel the power being drained from them the moment the man climaxes. Suddenly, he is in his he-man stance. He becomes less attentive and less friendly. He never wants to go out of his way for you; when before making you happy was his pleasure. He might not want to spend as much time with you or make you a priority. That is because he realizes he now possesses the power; he has conquered you sexually. And, if he is a jerk, who only wanted that to begin with, then as a result, he will become less interested in you.
Meanwhile, the woman suddenly feels bamboozled. “What happen? Why is he acting this way?” The moment her goal and needs were placed second to his, she gave him her power. Deep down she knows this and so does he. This is why he now can behave like a jack ass with less fear. You have been conquered. The woman may then feel a range of emotions from anger, to feeling played to emotional abandonment.
Sex is more than just an act for some women. For some women, every instance of sex is always an emotional experience to be cherished. The idea that this man is now showing his true colors becomes too much for them to handle; even if the circumstance never called for her to become emotional about the sex or the man never gave signs that he was going to be emotionally available to her.
The moral of this story, ladies, is never to give up that juicy spot until you feel that you are getting what you truly desire from the guy. If it is a committed relationship you desire from him, don’t have sex until you feel secure enough to do so. This way you will not feel emotionally trumped. Also, if you know that you are not one of those chicks who can separate having commitment-free sex from having a deep-rooted emotional bond with a man, don’t have sex until you feel you have that.
Fellas, if you have absolutely no intentions of being monogamous with the woman and know that you are only in it for the panties, be direct about your needs. Not all women want to be in a relationship with you. Some want what’s between your legs just as bad as you want what’s between theirs. Approaching women with honesty about your intentions could be what prevents your tires from being slashed or car windows busted out because you two had a sexual miscommunication."
by LJ Knight on Monday November 1st 2010
Source
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
I will Always Love You
This song will always hit home ... The lyrics are so deep.
I will Always Love You
By: Whitney Houston
YouTube
I will Always Love You
By: Whitney Houston
YouTube
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Love/Work
Below is a blog from a friend of mine. I must say, it hit home when I read it and the thoughts just kept flowing! My commentary is below his blog entry.
Source: Straightpen
Love/Work by JUSHH
Would’ve came back for you
I just needed time, to do what I had to do
Caught in the life, I can’t let it go
Whether that’s right, I will never know
Hope you forgive me, never meant wrong
Tried to be patient, it waited too long
But I would’ve came back, would’ve came back for you
- Drake, “Paris Morton Music” (2010)
Stop me if you heard this before…
“I want to be with you, but I’m focused on my career right now”
It is said that men avoid commitment and they use their career as an excuse. Well being a man who has done the former and has been accused of the latter, I am here to tell you… don’t believe everything that you hear.
Five years ago I decided to start my own company. My business, especially in the beginning, consumed me. So much so that it became a large part of whom I was. The last thing on my mind at that time was a relationship. And because of that, I’ve allowed some pretty special women to walk into and out of my life. But it wasn’t because I was scared to commit but the complete opposite, I was committed to something other than you.
A good relationship takes a significant amount of time and effort. Similarly, high career aspirations also require the same. And as long as there are only 24 hours in a day, something has to give. Sure, any man can say, “yes” to a relationship but what is the point, if you know that you can’t hold up your end of the deal? A woman can be patient and understanding but how long can you take being the #2 priority? Will you be able to ignore all the Blackberry interruptions or accept having an emergency cancel a date? Eventually you will complain to him about how he’s never around and blame him for the relationship falling apart.
You can’t say that you want a man with ambition and then criticize his ambitious efforts.
Its not that we don’t want to be with you, its that we know it won’t work out and would rather avoid being the villain. We know that because our career must come first, it’s simply not fair to drag you down that road – even if it means losing you. A selfish man would try to have both and guilt you into staying in an unfulfilling relationship. A good man is brave enough to make a choice and won’t accept a woman’s heart until he’s ready to take care of it. The best thing that a busy man can say to a woman is, “I’m not ready.”
Choosing this path is a painful process because you are never sure if you are making the right decision. You constantly go back and forth, doubting your choice. There’s nothing harder than watching the woman you care about cry in your arms because she can’t understand why you can’t be together. It’s impossible to explain that you will be able to give her everything as soon as you reach your goals and get stability. Sadly, you have no idea when that moment will come and if she will still be around when it does.
So the next time you hear a man say this to you, please don’t jump to conclusions and assume that he is just looking for excuses to be promiscuous. Instead try to understand his point of view and recognize his painful dilemma. It’s not easy to walk down a dark path towards a door that you may never find. It’s even harder when you know that you’re leaving a beautiful sunshine behind you. But if you want to achieve your dreams, you have to put your head down, stay focused and work hard. And hopefully when it all works out, you’ll be able to come back to her.
And to those who have heard those words from me and were too skeptical to wait,
I would have came back for you, too.
Free Hearts and Minds commentary regarding the above Blog...
What are your thoughts?
There is soooo much I can write regarding your blog, but I will try to keep it short and to the point. As always, great post J!
Please note that when I refer to "You" I am referring to the career oriented men who think the way you describe in your post.
I find it commendable that you would want to let someone go instead of ‘dragging them along’ while you sort through your life and work out all of the kinks. I have noticed that a growing number of men find it important to have their 'ish together financially before 'settling down.' Theoretically it sounds great. Men have been historically seen as the bread-winner, the head of the household, the person that takes care of those that depend on him (his lady and children). Therefore it makes some sense to stay focused on his career towards the beginning of it to be able to provide for his family in the future.
In response to this: “You can’t say that you want a man with ambition and then criticize his ambitious efforts,” I would never criticize the efforts of an ambitious man. Those men are hard to come by! However, the problem I find with this one-track mindedness is that it seems like you will never be able to juggle all of the balls being thrown your way. That is what we criticize. When you finally make it to the end of this “dark path” which one hopes leads to financial freedom, and you finally get into a relationship with someone, the struggles do not just disappear. They can in fact multiply. If you decide to get married, own a home, have children, purchase some pets, etc, what if the roof caves in because of a leak, you find out you have a terminal illness, or a recession hits and slows down your source of income...what then? Do you bail out on the woman and family in your life so that you can get yourself back on the "right" track? Or do you learn how to juggle all of these extra balls life just slammed into your face?
It seems like women, now-a-days, or even way back when, have to be/have been superwomen and take on tons of responsibilities all at the same time. Some women work full-time jobs, go home to cook, clean, take care of their children, help them study, bathe and get them to bed, take care of their men by performing their womanly requirements and then they have to get up the next morning with a smile on their face, breakfast on the table and take on the world all over again. I have similar characteristics with Women between the ages of 17 and 50+. On the other hand, "Men" between the ages of 25 and sometimes 37+ can't work on getting their career up and running while showing love and affection to the person that loves them?! Pardon my French, but get the F*CK outta here! I just don't get it. I kind of would almost prefer to be told you haven't been around the block enough times and need to sleep with more women. Truth be told, if you can't juggle a relationship and the job/career now, how can I be so sure you're not going to run away with your tail between your legs when the shit really hits the fan? Otherwise, just tell me you just don’t love me enough, because that is surely what it’s going to seem like when 7 months after you break up with me, you’ve finally “made it” and you end up marrying some random female who just came into your life. It’s funny how the world works! At that point, I will look back and think… “oh wow, he was cheating on me with this chickenhead all along.” Spare us the heart-ache, tears, time we will never get back, emotional and mental stress and break-it off within the first couple of months if you know you cannot make us #1 or even #1.5 on your list. Also spare the next man that is ready to settle down, the struggles he will have to endure because now you have caused one good girl to think every man is the same.
You ask, “Will you be able to ignore all the Blackberry interruptions or accept having an emergency cancel a date?” I would think that most successful, worth-your-while, women would answer “Yes” because we have lives too and may sometimes need to cancel a date or two. But does that mean every single date needs to be cancelled for a year or two because of business? No, those are one-off situations. Not very many people cancel a dinner and movie (which usually takes place at night and/or on the weekend) because something came up in the office…Catch my drift?
Here are a couple of rhetorical questions that come to mind after reading your post. Why not grow with someone by your side? Someone who loves you and will support you through the highs and lows while you are getting your career off the ground? Why not experience the ups and downs with someone that will be there for you through it all instead of running around sleeping with every chic that comes your way? Once you do make it "big", how much more difficult is it going to be to find someone that wants you for who you are and not what you have/own/are about to purchase? Lastly, when is enough, enough (i.e., when you “make it” to the first prong on this ladder of success you have defined for yourself, are you going to walk away from the next sunshine because you have to get to the next prong?)?
Source: Straightpen
Love/Work by JUSHH
Would’ve came back for you
I just needed time, to do what I had to do
Caught in the life, I can’t let it go
Whether that’s right, I will never know
Hope you forgive me, never meant wrong
Tried to be patient, it waited too long
But I would’ve came back, would’ve came back for you
- Drake, “Paris Morton Music” (2010)
Stop me if you heard this before…
“I want to be with you, but I’m focused on my career right now”
It is said that men avoid commitment and they use their career as an excuse. Well being a man who has done the former and has been accused of the latter, I am here to tell you… don’t believe everything that you hear.
Five years ago I decided to start my own company. My business, especially in the beginning, consumed me. So much so that it became a large part of whom I was. The last thing on my mind at that time was a relationship. And because of that, I’ve allowed some pretty special women to walk into and out of my life. But it wasn’t because I was scared to commit but the complete opposite, I was committed to something other than you.
A good relationship takes a significant amount of time and effort. Similarly, high career aspirations also require the same. And as long as there are only 24 hours in a day, something has to give. Sure, any man can say, “yes” to a relationship but what is the point, if you know that you can’t hold up your end of the deal? A woman can be patient and understanding but how long can you take being the #2 priority? Will you be able to ignore all the Blackberry interruptions or accept having an emergency cancel a date? Eventually you will complain to him about how he’s never around and blame him for the relationship falling apart.
You can’t say that you want a man with ambition and then criticize his ambitious efforts.
Its not that we don’t want to be with you, its that we know it won’t work out and would rather avoid being the villain. We know that because our career must come first, it’s simply not fair to drag you down that road – even if it means losing you. A selfish man would try to have both and guilt you into staying in an unfulfilling relationship. A good man is brave enough to make a choice and won’t accept a woman’s heart until he’s ready to take care of it. The best thing that a busy man can say to a woman is, “I’m not ready.”
Choosing this path is a painful process because you are never sure if you are making the right decision. You constantly go back and forth, doubting your choice. There’s nothing harder than watching the woman you care about cry in your arms because she can’t understand why you can’t be together. It’s impossible to explain that you will be able to give her everything as soon as you reach your goals and get stability. Sadly, you have no idea when that moment will come and if she will still be around when it does.
So the next time you hear a man say this to you, please don’t jump to conclusions and assume that he is just looking for excuses to be promiscuous. Instead try to understand his point of view and recognize his painful dilemma. It’s not easy to walk down a dark path towards a door that you may never find. It’s even harder when you know that you’re leaving a beautiful sunshine behind you. But if you want to achieve your dreams, you have to put your head down, stay focused and work hard. And hopefully when it all works out, you’ll be able to come back to her.
And to those who have heard those words from me and were too skeptical to wait,
I would have came back for you, too.
Free Hearts and Minds commentary regarding the above Blog...
What are your thoughts?
There is soooo much I can write regarding your blog, but I will try to keep it short and to the point. As always, great post J!
Please note that when I refer to "You" I am referring to the career oriented men who think the way you describe in your post.
I find it commendable that you would want to let someone go instead of ‘dragging them along’ while you sort through your life and work out all of the kinks. I have noticed that a growing number of men find it important to have their 'ish together financially before 'settling down.' Theoretically it sounds great. Men have been historically seen as the bread-winner, the head of the household, the person that takes care of those that depend on him (his lady and children). Therefore it makes some sense to stay focused on his career towards the beginning of it to be able to provide for his family in the future.
In response to this: “You can’t say that you want a man with ambition and then criticize his ambitious efforts,” I would never criticize the efforts of an ambitious man. Those men are hard to come by! However, the problem I find with this one-track mindedness is that it seems like you will never be able to juggle all of the balls being thrown your way. That is what we criticize. When you finally make it to the end of this “dark path” which one hopes leads to financial freedom, and you finally get into a relationship with someone, the struggles do not just disappear. They can in fact multiply. If you decide to get married, own a home, have children, purchase some pets, etc, what if the roof caves in because of a leak, you find out you have a terminal illness, or a recession hits and slows down your source of income...what then? Do you bail out on the woman and family in your life so that you can get yourself back on the "right" track? Or do you learn how to juggle all of these extra balls life just slammed into your face?
It seems like women, now-a-days, or even way back when, have to be/have been superwomen and take on tons of responsibilities all at the same time. Some women work full-time jobs, go home to cook, clean, take care of their children, help them study, bathe and get them to bed, take care of their men by performing their womanly requirements and then they have to get up the next morning with a smile on their face, breakfast on the table and take on the world all over again. I have similar characteristics with Women between the ages of 17 and 50+. On the other hand, "Men" between the ages of 25 and sometimes 37+ can't work on getting their career up and running while showing love and affection to the person that loves them?! Pardon my French, but get the F*CK outta here! I just don't get it. I kind of would almost prefer to be told you haven't been around the block enough times and need to sleep with more women. Truth be told, if you can't juggle a relationship and the job/career now, how can I be so sure you're not going to run away with your tail between your legs when the shit really hits the fan? Otherwise, just tell me you just don’t love me enough, because that is surely what it’s going to seem like when 7 months after you break up with me, you’ve finally “made it” and you end up marrying some random female who just came into your life. It’s funny how the world works! At that point, I will look back and think… “oh wow, he was cheating on me with this chickenhead all along.” Spare us the heart-ache, tears, time we will never get back, emotional and mental stress and break-it off within the first couple of months if you know you cannot make us #1 or even #1.5 on your list. Also spare the next man that is ready to settle down, the struggles he will have to endure because now you have caused one good girl to think every man is the same.
You ask, “Will you be able to ignore all the Blackberry interruptions or accept having an emergency cancel a date?” I would think that most successful, worth-your-while, women would answer “Yes” because we have lives too and may sometimes need to cancel a date or two. But does that mean every single date needs to be cancelled for a year or two because of business? No, those are one-off situations. Not very many people cancel a dinner and movie (which usually takes place at night and/or on the weekend) because something came up in the office…Catch my drift?
Here are a couple of rhetorical questions that come to mind after reading your post. Why not grow with someone by your side? Someone who loves you and will support you through the highs and lows while you are getting your career off the ground? Why not experience the ups and downs with someone that will be there for you through it all instead of running around sleeping with every chic that comes your way? Once you do make it "big", how much more difficult is it going to be to find someone that wants you for who you are and not what you have/own/are about to purchase? Lastly, when is enough, enough (i.e., when you “make it” to the first prong on this ladder of success you have defined for yourself, are you going to walk away from the next sunshine because you have to get to the next prong?)?
Monday, September 27, 2010
What does a poke mean to you?
What does a poke mean to you?
Does it mean:
"Hey, haven't seen/spoken to you in a while, just wanted to say hi!" or
"Remember me?! I'm alive!" or
"Come look at my pics and write on my wall please!!" or
";) You're kinda cute." or
"Hey mamacita, here's a virtual poke, but wait til I see you in person ;o)" or
"You didn't respond to my texts, voice messages and/or inboxes, so this is yet another reminder to write back!!"
or ... ?
Does it depend who you poke? Do you usually poke people of the opposite sex? Only people you are attracted to? Only friends or family members? Do guys usually poke other guys?
Is it just me or does this poking business have a sexual undertone?
How do you respond to a poke by someone you barely know? Do you poke back? Do you write them a private message? or a public message on their wall? Do you call them out by writing..."Hey, thanks for the POKE! Hope all is well!" What if you are in a relationship, should you poke single people of the opposite sex? Is that crossing the line? Should you tell your significant other that you are poking people online?
What is this poking thing really all about?
Does it mean:
"Hey, haven't seen/spoken to you in a while, just wanted to say hi!" or
"Remember me?! I'm alive!" or
"Come look at my pics and write on my wall please!!" or
";) You're kinda cute." or
"Hey mamacita, here's a virtual poke, but wait til I see you in person ;o)" or
"You didn't respond to my texts, voice messages and/or inboxes, so this is yet another reminder to write back!!"
or ... ?
Does it depend who you poke? Do you usually poke people of the opposite sex? Only people you are attracted to? Only friends or family members? Do guys usually poke other guys?
Is it just me or does this poking business have a sexual undertone?
How do you respond to a poke by someone you barely know? Do you poke back? Do you write them a private message? or a public message on their wall? Do you call them out by writing..."Hey, thanks for the POKE! Hope all is well!" What if you are in a relationship, should you poke single people of the opposite sex? Is that crossing the line? Should you tell your significant other that you are poking people online?
What is this poking thing really all about?
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