An Ontario man convicted of first-degree murder in the deaths of two of his sexual partners through HIV transmission has been declared a dangerous offender. He was diagnosed with HIV in 1996 and had unprotected sex with 11 women without telling them he was HIV-positive. Seven of these women later tested positive for HIV and two later died of complications of AIDS.
When it comes to having sex for the first time, whose responsibility is it to discuss sexually transmitted diseases? If you are sick, would you willingly tell your soon-to-be sexual partner that they could potentially get sick? Is it considered (attempted) murder if you know you have HIV/AIDS but don’t tell your partner(s) and they later get sick or die? Is it your responsibility to ask your partner to get tested for your own safety or would it be your partners responsibility to put their business on blast from the very beginning?
What if the person that has a disease (and knows it) doesn’t say anything, but the other person still takes every precaution to stay safe, yet the condom breaks? What if you ask your partner to get tested and they show you false proof and you still get sick? There are so many scenarios that could take place, so is anyone ever safe?
Does it come down to your morals? If you don’t tell someone that you are sick, does that mean you have no morals and values?
In today’s society where cheating is (unfortunately) the norm, how do you tell your supposed monogamous partner that you would like both of you to get tested every 6-12 months? Would they get offended? Would the relationship be tarnished by this simple request? Is this something that is agreed to before the relationship really takes off? Or is it something that is discussed if you start seeing changes in your relationship (they come home later and later/receive messages at odd hours of the day/they become more secretive or defensive)? Or do you bring up recurring testing when you start itching and scratching a little too much down there? By then, is it too late?
My personal belief is that this man should be put in jail indefinitely. He is willingly spreading this horrible disease and should be stopped in his tracks. Just because he got the disease from someone else does not make it right/just that he bring others down with him. Some people may say it's the women's fault for not asking him to get tested or for not using protection, but I believe he could/should have been open about his status.
Also, I think diseases/testing, etc. should be discussed and taken care of before sexual intercourse begins. I would not consider it offensive if my partner asked me to get tested every 6-12 months or if they did for their own sanity. If someone happens to know that they have a sexual problem/disease, they should be open about their issues so that their partner can make an informed decision. It is better to know in advance and be able to make the right decisions, than to be presented with a negative circumstance that may affect you for the rest of life. As adults, we need to be responsible when it comes to sex. There is a great deal of information readily available and being open and honest with yourself and your partner may lead to a much more fulfilling sexual relationship.
Thoughts?
*Not a true statement, but it got your attention right! ;o)
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