Communication
**Make time ... yes, an actual appointment with each other, Shimberg says. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let the answering machine pick up your calls.
**If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant, where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
**Set up some rules ... like not interrupting until the other is through, banning phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ..."
**Remember that a large part of communication is listening, so be sure your body language reflects that. That means, don't doodle, look at your watch, pick at your nails, etc. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message and rephrase if necessary, such as, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm, and if what the other person really meant was, hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you, perhaps they'll say so but in a nicer way.
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Life's Tid Bits
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink his/her choices, and another woman prepare.
*They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them*
Source: I was told this came from Oprah.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink his/her choices, and another woman prepare.
*They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them*
Source: I was told this came from Oprah.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Are you wearing someone else's used underwear?!
This video reveals some scary, filthy secrets.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/35659447#35659447
In summary, wash any and all new lingerie and swimming items before using them.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/35659447#35659447
In summary, wash any and all new lingerie and swimming items before using them.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
So, when are you going to start having kids?
Instead of asking me, “So, when are you going to start having kids?” Please feel free to memorize the following and asking this instead: “So, when are you going to put a hold or completely stop
*Having all of the fun you want to have,
*Going dancing/bowling/to museums/to art galleries,
*Waking up whenever you want,
*Going to sleep whenever you want,
*Watching a movie from start to finish,
*Going to happy hour after work with friends/co-workers or staying late at work to finish the project that is already late,
*Cooking for one to start cooking for many,
*Taking dancing, Philosophy, cooking & acting classes,
*Taking your time to get ready in the morning because you have to shower, dress, feed and take the children to school on time,
*Doing volunteer work that requires you to fly to different countries,
*Being intimate with your partner without worrying about waking the kids,
*Taking vacations whenever, wherever and for however long you want to take them,
*Spending/saving money as you wish,
*Dressing however you want to dress, without people looking at you sideways, because mothers should maybe dress a certain way,
*Living your life as if no one depends on your every decision,
*Watching whatever you want on television without having to listen to Nickelodeon reruns,
*Having crazy adventures like going skydiving or water rafting, without worrying if you will live to see your child(ren) become parents,
*Sending text messages or spending/wasting time on Facebook so that you can dedicate quality time to your child(ren),
*Reading the books you want to read, to ensure that your child(ren) are literate/intelligent
*Working on films/photoshoots/figuring out what exactly you want to be in life so that you can help the little person that now looks up to you, figure out what they want to be in life.
*Worrying 100% about yourself and start worrying about the future of a human being you brought into this world and making sure that they are getting the proper education to be successful, somebodies in this crazy world we live in, while not succumbing to peer pressure, drug addiction and/or the mental abuse that so many people endure.
How about this: I don’t want a child.
I want a FAMILY. I want to be a mother and I want to be a wife. I want a husband that loves me and that will be by my side through thick and thin. I want my child(ren) to look up to their mother and father with respect and awe at how cool we are, while wishing they grew up to be just like us. I want a house with a fence and a dog and a fish. Hold on, I could probably do without the fish. I want to know that I am not in it by myself. I want to raise a stable household where my child(ren) will not wonder why mommy didn’t have all of the fun she needed to have before becoming a mother. At the end of the day, besides wanting people to stop asking me when I am going to have kids (after listening to their horror stories of motherhood), I want to take my time. If that is too much to ask for, oh well.
*Having all of the fun you want to have,
*Going dancing/bowling/to museums/to art galleries,
*Waking up whenever you want,
*Going to sleep whenever you want,
*Watching a movie from start to finish,
*Going to happy hour after work with friends/co-workers or staying late at work to finish the project that is already late,
*Cooking for one to start cooking for many,
*Taking dancing, Philosophy, cooking & acting classes,
*Taking your time to get ready in the morning because you have to shower, dress, feed and take the children to school on time,
*Doing volunteer work that requires you to fly to different countries,
*Being intimate with your partner without worrying about waking the kids,
*Taking vacations whenever, wherever and for however long you want to take them,
*Spending/saving money as you wish,
*Dressing however you want to dress, without people looking at you sideways, because mothers should maybe dress a certain way,
*Living your life as if no one depends on your every decision,
*Watching whatever you want on television without having to listen to Nickelodeon reruns,
*Having crazy adventures like going skydiving or water rafting, without worrying if you will live to see your child(ren) become parents,
*Sending text messages or spending/wasting time on Facebook so that you can dedicate quality time to your child(ren),
*Reading the books you want to read, to ensure that your child(ren) are literate/intelligent
*Working on films/photoshoots/figuring out what exactly you want to be in life so that you can help the little person that now looks up to you, figure out what they want to be in life.
*Worrying 100% about yourself and start worrying about the future of a human being you brought into this world and making sure that they are getting the proper education to be successful, somebodies in this crazy world we live in, while not succumbing to peer pressure, drug addiction and/or the mental abuse that so many people endure.
How about this: I don’t want a child.
I want a FAMILY. I want to be a mother and I want to be a wife. I want a husband that loves me and that will be by my side through thick and thin. I want my child(ren) to look up to their mother and father with respect and awe at how cool we are, while wishing they grew up to be just like us. I want a house with a fence and a dog and a fish. Hold on, I could probably do without the fish. I want to know that I am not in it by myself. I want to raise a stable household where my child(ren) will not wonder why mommy didn’t have all of the fun she needed to have before becoming a mother. At the end of the day, besides wanting people to stop asking me when I am going to have kids (after listening to their horror stories of motherhood), I want to take my time. If that is too much to ask for, oh well.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Tings Already Betta...
I recently returned from a life changing adventure to Kingston, Jamaica. Thanks to the generous donations of a few co-workers, friends and family, I was able to embark on a journey that helped shed some light on my life and that of at least 9 other (amazing/courageous) people. After raising $1,000, I went on a Missionary Trip with some of my HBO co-workers to help Mustard Seed Communities, a Catholic Organization dedicated to helping abandoned, disabled children.
During this week-long trip:
We donated money. Thank you to all of those that helped make this possible.
We donated our energy through physical labor. We worked on some major projects such as farmwork/gardening, painting, organizing, moving heavy building materials, etc.
Last, but not least, we donated our time and our hearts. We met and spent quality time with abandoned children and young adults with major physical disabilities stemming from illnesses such as Hydrocephalus, Microcephalus/microcephaly, Macrocephaly, Spina bifida, Cerebal Palsy, Downs-Syndrome and HIV/AIDS to name afew. We hugged/spoke to/helped feed young children that will be wheelchair bound for the rest of lives. We met young mothers that were abandoned by their parents or that left home when they became a teenage mother. We brought joy and laughter to little boys and girls that were abandoned after being born with HIV/AIDS.
I was especially touched by a young boy named Anthony. Anthony is blind and has Hydrocephalus, which is a build up of fluid inside the skull, leading to brain swelling. (Source: https://health.google.com/health/ref/Hydrocephalus). Although, he could not see us, nor could he speak to us, Anthony seemed incredibly happy to know there were new people surrounding him and giving him love and attention. He held my hand and rubbed his face with it while he incessantly squirmed around in his wheelchair. Through my tears, I sang to him and he smiled. When we were leaving, I sensed that he knew something was about to change and he was not as cheery as he was every other day of my trip. He did not move around in his wheelchair as he had during the week and he did not rub my hand on his face, he simply held it tightly and close to his chest. Tears flood my eyes when I think of the tear drop I saw coming from the corner of his eye as I said goodbye.
This life changing trip will forever stay in my mind and heart. Even though it took some getting used to seeing the things I saw and staying in an area experiencing a drought (bathing with a bucket full of cold water makes you really appreciate the warm running showers in the US), I look forward to attending more Missionary Trips and I hope you will help me brighten someone else's life by donating when the next opportunity arises. Thank you in advance.
Please feel free to see some of the pictures from the trip (link below). Please note that due to confidentiality, this does not include pictures of the disabled children, but if you would like to see then, please let me know.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2101461&id=9505014&l=86d076816f
Thank you for your time.
All the best,
~Yomaris
During this week-long trip:
We donated money. Thank you to all of those that helped make this possible.
We donated our energy through physical labor. We worked on some major projects such as farmwork/gardening, painting, organizing, moving heavy building materials, etc.
Last, but not least, we donated our time and our hearts. We met and spent quality time with abandoned children and young adults with major physical disabilities stemming from illnesses such as Hydrocephalus, Microcephalus/microcephaly, Macrocephaly, Spina bifida, Cerebal Palsy, Downs-Syndrome and HIV/AIDS to name afew. We hugged/spoke to/helped feed young children that will be wheelchair bound for the rest of lives. We met young mothers that were abandoned by their parents or that left home when they became a teenage mother. We brought joy and laughter to little boys and girls that were abandoned after being born with HIV/AIDS.
I was especially touched by a young boy named Anthony. Anthony is blind and has Hydrocephalus, which is a build up of fluid inside the skull, leading to brain swelling. (Source: https://health.google.com/health/ref/Hydrocephalus). Although, he could not see us, nor could he speak to us, Anthony seemed incredibly happy to know there were new people surrounding him and giving him love and attention. He held my hand and rubbed his face with it while he incessantly squirmed around in his wheelchair. Through my tears, I sang to him and he smiled. When we were leaving, I sensed that he knew something was about to change and he was not as cheery as he was every other day of my trip. He did not move around in his wheelchair as he had during the week and he did not rub my hand on his face, he simply held it tightly and close to his chest. Tears flood my eyes when I think of the tear drop I saw coming from the corner of his eye as I said goodbye.
This life changing trip will forever stay in my mind and heart. Even though it took some getting used to seeing the things I saw and staying in an area experiencing a drought (bathing with a bucket full of cold water makes you really appreciate the warm running showers in the US), I look forward to attending more Missionary Trips and I hope you will help me brighten someone else's life by donating when the next opportunity arises. Thank you in advance.
Please feel free to see some of the pictures from the trip (link below). Please note that due to confidentiality, this does not include pictures of the disabled children, but if you would like to see then, please let me know.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2101461&id=9505014&l=86d076816f
Thank you for your time.
All the best,
~Yomaris
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