Beyonce cannot fail in my eyes! Her songs tell stories. Relevant stories. The video to Beyonce's song "Why Don't You Love" me is below.
It's sad but many women experience this sort of melt-down after a break-up. I actually remember experiencing this type of thing in the past. Thinking, asking, wondering "Why? How? Who does he think he is? I have everything he is looking for. and/or He's never going to find someone like me." Truth be told, at the end of the day, it does not even matter if he find someone like you or better than you or if he stays single or even becomes homosexual! It does not matter because you and he just were not meant to be and THAT is why it ended. No need for tears ladies! No one has died!
I have grown a lot since those days of sleepless nights and dark circles around my eyes. I am glad I have moved on to realizing my worth and understanding that although my path has changed, I will find a man that values all of those things Beyonce mentions in her song. No need to dwell on what could have been. Time to move forward ladies!
Why Don't You Love Me?
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Five Star Recovery
I am very happy to say that I have come to a point in my life where I am realizing what is truly important to me. I no longer wish to be in a relationship where I do not get nearly as much as I give. No more looking back to empty promises and one-sided dreams. Hindsight is 20/20.
If I meet someone along the way that is willing to take this journey with me and put in his fair share, then so be it. Until then I will live for me and focus on my wishes, my desires and my aspirations.
This song expresses my feelings perfectly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O14DOuH_GOM&feature=player_embedded
Great job Sophia Moon!
"Life is too short to waste unnecessary tears." - Jose "Bello" Peralta
If I meet someone along the way that is willing to take this journey with me and put in his fair share, then so be it. Until then I will live for me and focus on my wishes, my desires and my aspirations.
This song expresses my feelings perfectly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O14DOuH_GOM&feature=player_embedded
Great job Sophia Moon!
"Life is too short to waste unnecessary tears." - Jose "Bello" Peralta
Relationship Problems and how to fix them (6 & 7 of 7)
Conflict
**You are not a victim. It is your choice whether to react and how to react.
**Be honest with yourself. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments directed toward resolution, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.
**Change it up. If you continue to respond in the same way that has brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
**Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.
Trust
**Be consistent.
**Be on time.
**Do what you say you will do.
**Don't lie -- not even little white lies, to your partner or to others.
**Be fair, even in an argument.
**Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree but don't discount how your partner is feeling.
**Call when you say you will.
**Call to say you'll be home late.
**Carry your fair share of the workload.
**Don't overreact when things go wrong.
**Never say things you can't take back.
**Don't dig up old wounds.
**Respect your partner's boundaries.
**Don’t be jealous.
**Be a good listener.
Although relationships have their ups and downs, there are things you can both do that may well minimize marriage problems, if not help avoid them altogether, says psychologist Karen Sherman. Be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy.
Use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more. And be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that it will be better with someone else; the same problems you have in this relationship because of lack of skills will still exist.
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528
**You are not a victim. It is your choice whether to react and how to react.
**Be honest with yourself. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments directed toward resolution, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.
**Change it up. If you continue to respond in the same way that has brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
**Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.
Trust
**Be consistent.
**Be on time.
**Do what you say you will do.
**Don't lie -- not even little white lies, to your partner or to others.
**Be fair, even in an argument.
**Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree but don't discount how your partner is feeling.
**Call when you say you will.
**Call to say you'll be home late.
**Carry your fair share of the workload.
**Don't overreact when things go wrong.
**Never say things you can't take back.
**Don't dig up old wounds.
**Respect your partner's boundaries.
**Don’t be jealous.
**Be a good listener.
Although relationships have their ups and downs, there are things you can both do that may well minimize marriage problems, if not help avoid them altogether, says psychologist Karen Sherman. Be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy.
Use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more. And be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that it will be better with someone else; the same problems you have in this relationship because of lack of skills will still exist.
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Relationship Problems and how to fix them (4 & 5 of 7)
Struggles Over Home Chores
**Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home, Sherman says. "Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what." Be fair: Make sure each partner's tasks are equitable so no resentment builds.
**Be open to other solutions, Sherman adds: If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. As long as it feels fair to both people, you can be creative and take preferences into account.
Not Prioritizing Your Relationship
**Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Make gestures of appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
**Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
**Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate ... ." It lets your partner know that he/she matters.
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528
**Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home, Sherman says. "Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what." Be fair: Make sure each partner's tasks are equitable so no resentment builds.
**Be open to other solutions, Sherman adds: If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. As long as it feels fair to both people, you can be creative and take preferences into account.
Not Prioritizing Your Relationship
**Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Make gestures of appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.
**Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
**Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate ... ." It lets your partner know that he/she matters.
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Relationship Problems and how to fix them (3 of 7)
Money
**Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle that was possible before the loss of income is simply unrealistic.
**Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both parties.
**Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understanding that there are benefits to both, and agreeing to learn from each other's tendencies.
**Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.
**Don't blame.
**Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
**Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.
**Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.
**Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.
**Talk about caring for your parents as they age, and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs, if necessary.
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528
**Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle that was possible before the loss of income is simply unrealistic.
**Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both parties.
**Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understanding that there are benefits to both, and agreeing to learn from each other's tendencies.
**Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.
**Don't blame.
**Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
**Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.
**Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.
**Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.
**Talk about caring for your parents as they age, and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs, if necessary.
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Relationship Problems and how to fix them (2 of 7)
Sex
**Plan, plan, plan, Fay says. Make an appointment -- not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap. Or perhaps a "before-work quickie," Fay suggests. Or ask Grandma and Grandpa to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says, adding that mixing things up a bit can increase your sexual enjoyment as well. Why not sex in the kitchen? Sex by the fire? Sex standing up in the hallway?
**California psychotherapist Allison Cohen, MA, MFT, also suggests learning what truly turns your partner on by asking him or her to come up with a personal "Sexy List." And, of course, you do the same. What do each of you truly find sexy? "The answers may surprise you." Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.
**If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist, who can help you both address and resolve your issues.
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528
**Plan, plan, plan, Fay says. Make an appointment -- not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap. Or perhaps a "before-work quickie," Fay suggests. Or ask Grandma and Grandpa to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says, adding that mixing things up a bit can increase your sexual enjoyment as well. Why not sex in the kitchen? Sex by the fire? Sex standing up in the hallway?
**California psychotherapist Allison Cohen, MA, MFT, also suggests learning what truly turns your partner on by asking him or her to come up with a personal "Sexy List." And, of course, you do the same. What do each of you truly find sexy? "The answers may surprise you." Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.
**If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist, who can help you both address and resolve your issues.
Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528
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