As much as the truth hurts, sometimes it's better to speak the truth than be caught in a lie.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Tell the truth!
As much as the truth hurts, sometimes it's better to speak the truth than be caught in a lie.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
5 minutes
It’s sad to see or hear an elderly woman cry while expressing that she has no one to love her and care for her because her husband has passed, her children are grown and have moved on and her grandchildren barely make time to visit. It’s especially sad when that older woman is your very own grandmother. My grandmother turned 82 two days ago. I forgot to call her. I forgot to buy her a present. I forgot to stop by and give her a hug and kiss and tell her how much I love her.
How could I be such a horrible granddaughter? SHE called ME on HER birthday and I was too busy to call her back, so I called her a day later and she was very happy to hear my voice. When she reminded me about her birthday, it broke my heart. Her voice of sadness as she spoke about being lonely day and night, brings me stabbing pains to my chest because I could easily remedy her pain by being there. By taking 5 minutes to call her every couple of days or an hour a week to visit her. One simple hour, out of the 168 given to us in one week could make her the happiest woman ever, yet life gets in the way.
Things have got to change. I need to value both of my grandmothers while they are here on earth. While they can recount stories of a time I never knew. While they can give me wisdom I could never read in a book or see on the history channel. I need to be more aware of the beauty and importance that is family. Things have to change and I have to be the catalyst for that change.
Have you spoken to your grandparent(s) lately?
How could I be such a horrible granddaughter? SHE called ME on HER birthday and I was too busy to call her back, so I called her a day later and she was very happy to hear my voice. When she reminded me about her birthday, it broke my heart. Her voice of sadness as she spoke about being lonely day and night, brings me stabbing pains to my chest because I could easily remedy her pain by being there. By taking 5 minutes to call her every couple of days or an hour a week to visit her. One simple hour, out of the 168 given to us in one week could make her the happiest woman ever, yet life gets in the way.
Things have got to change. I need to value both of my grandmothers while they are here on earth. While they can recount stories of a time I never knew. While they can give me wisdom I could never read in a book or see on the history channel. I need to be more aware of the beauty and importance that is family. Things have to change and I have to be the catalyst for that change.
Have you spoken to your grandparent(s) lately?
Saturday, October 15, 2011
the greatest irony of LOVE
"the greatest irony of love:
loving the right person at the wrong time,
having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life.
and sometimes, you think you’re already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again.
for some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person.. and some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else.
most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love. love is always present. it’s just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little.
as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right.
most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love but only to discover that for them, we are just to pass the time.
while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.
so here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much.
give up when love isn’t enough,
and move on when things are not like before.
for sure, there is someone out there who will love you even more"
- A hopeless romantic that calls himself Chocolissous
loving the right person at the wrong time,
having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life.
and sometimes, you think you’re already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again.
for some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person.. and some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else.
most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love. love is always present. it’s just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little.
as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right.
most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love but only to discover that for them, we are just to pass the time.
while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.
so here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much.
give up when love isn’t enough,
and move on when things are not like before.
for sure, there is someone out there who will love you even more"
- A hopeless romantic that calls himself Chocolissous
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I need to fit
If I can't see myself easily being photoshopped into the pictures of your life (the ones you post of yourself with your family and close friends), I simply can't see myself in a relationship with you. Is this crazy talk or do you feel the same? What are your thoughts when considering a new relationship?
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
10 SIGNS THAT SHE'S A BOOTYCALL
This is Hysterical and So True!
Ladies...no need to get offended. This information is coming from a man so listen up!
10 SIGNS THAT SHE'S A BOOTYCALL
Watch on Youtube
Ladies...no need to get offended. This information is coming from a man so listen up!
10 SIGNS THAT SHE'S A BOOTYCALL
Watch on Youtube
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Surprising Habits That Can Sink a Marriage
Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own. My husband and I rarely argued, we had similar careers, we shared common interests. Things weren't perfect, but we seemed to be humming along in harmony better than most other couples we knew. In fact, nobody was more surprised than we were when our 17-year marriage ended in a New Jersey divorce court.
It turns out, though, that the signs of trouble had been there all along, if only I'd known what to look for. Instead, I was judging my marriage by the wrong standards—which, I've since learned, most of us do. In one now-famous study, researchers asked therapists, married couples, and others to watch videotaped conversations of ten couples and try to identify the relationships that had ultimately ended in divorce. The results were abysmal—even the therapists guessed wrong half the time.
So how can you diagnose the health of your relationship? Armed with huge volumes of data on married couples, scientists have identified some simple but powerful indicators that can help couples recognize marital strife long before their relationship hits the skids.
The Way You Were
Imagine a couple that go hiking on their first date. In a happy marriage, the wife might tell the story this way: "We got terribly lost that day. It took us hours to find our way back, but we laughed about how neither of us had a good sense of direction. After that, we knew better than to plan another hiking trip!"
But if the relationship was stressed, she might tell the story this way: "He lost the map, and it took hours to find our way back. After that, I never wanted to go hiking again." Same story, but instead of reflecting a sense of togetherness—using pronouns like "we" and "us"—it's laced with negativity. Research has shown that analyzing what's known as the marital narrative—the way you talk about the good and bad times of your early years together—is about 90 percent accurate in predicting which marriages will succeed or fail.
Had I been paying attention, my own how-we-met story could have told me a lot about how I was feeling in my marriage. Early in the relationship, when asked about our first date, I recounted a magical evening that ended with a walk around the Texas capitol building in Austin. I often laughed about the fact that I was limping the whole time because I'd recently had surgery on my foot. But later in my marriage, I changed the story slightly, always adding, "Of course, he didn't even notice."
Fight or Flight
When my husband and I first married, I felt lucky that we almost never fought. But studies show it's a mistake to judge the quality of a relationship by how much or how little you argue, particularly in the early years.
University of Washington researchers studied newlywed couples and learned, not surprisingly, that those who rarely argued were happier in the relationship than those who fought often. But three years later, the findings had reversed. Couples with an early history of bickering had worked out their problems and were more likely to be in stable marriages. The couples who'd avoided conflict early on were more likely to be in troubled relationships or already divorced.
Obviously, fighting that includes violence or verbal abuse is never acceptable. But most marital spats represent an opportunity to resolve conflicts and make things better. "We need to learn to tolerate conflict in our relationships," says Carolyn Cowan, a longtime marriage and family researcher at the University of California, Berkeley.
By Tara Parker-Pope
ARTICLE SOURCE
It turns out, though, that the signs of trouble had been there all along, if only I'd known what to look for. Instead, I was judging my marriage by the wrong standards—which, I've since learned, most of us do. In one now-famous study, researchers asked therapists, married couples, and others to watch videotaped conversations of ten couples and try to identify the relationships that had ultimately ended in divorce. The results were abysmal—even the therapists guessed wrong half the time.
So how can you diagnose the health of your relationship? Armed with huge volumes of data on married couples, scientists have identified some simple but powerful indicators that can help couples recognize marital strife long before their relationship hits the skids.
The Way You Were
Imagine a couple that go hiking on their first date. In a happy marriage, the wife might tell the story this way: "We got terribly lost that day. It took us hours to find our way back, but we laughed about how neither of us had a good sense of direction. After that, we knew better than to plan another hiking trip!"
But if the relationship was stressed, she might tell the story this way: "He lost the map, and it took hours to find our way back. After that, I never wanted to go hiking again." Same story, but instead of reflecting a sense of togetherness—using pronouns like "we" and "us"—it's laced with negativity. Research has shown that analyzing what's known as the marital narrative—the way you talk about the good and bad times of your early years together—is about 90 percent accurate in predicting which marriages will succeed or fail.
Had I been paying attention, my own how-we-met story could have told me a lot about how I was feeling in my marriage. Early in the relationship, when asked about our first date, I recounted a magical evening that ended with a walk around the Texas capitol building in Austin. I often laughed about the fact that I was limping the whole time because I'd recently had surgery on my foot. But later in my marriage, I changed the story slightly, always adding, "Of course, he didn't even notice."
Fight or Flight
When my husband and I first married, I felt lucky that we almost never fought. But studies show it's a mistake to judge the quality of a relationship by how much or how little you argue, particularly in the early years.
University of Washington researchers studied newlywed couples and learned, not surprisingly, that those who rarely argued were happier in the relationship than those who fought often. But three years later, the findings had reversed. Couples with an early history of bickering had worked out their problems and were more likely to be in stable marriages. The couples who'd avoided conflict early on were more likely to be in troubled relationships or already divorced.
Obviously, fighting that includes violence or verbal abuse is never acceptable. But most marital spats represent an opportunity to resolve conflicts and make things better. "We need to learn to tolerate conflict in our relationships," says Carolyn Cowan, a longtime marriage and family researcher at the University of California, Berkeley.
By Tara Parker-Pope
ARTICLE SOURCE
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