Locked Out of Heaven - Eddie Timmons (Bruno Mars cover) - a cappella

This song is fabulous and here is an awesome rendition of it by a talented young man!  Eddie Timmons a.k.a. Shy Boogs kills it as he portrays 6 different personalities in his a capella version of Bruno Mars' song Locked Out of Heaven.  I would melt if I had a guy sung this song to me!  Love it!!  Great job Eddie and Happy Birthday!!

Watch Shy Boogs on Youtube

Lyrics:

One, two, one, two, three

Oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!
Oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!

Never had much faith in love or miracles
Never wanna put my heart on the line.
But swimming in your world is something spiritual
I'm born again every time you spend the night

Cause your sex takes me to paradise
Yeah your sex takes me to paradise
And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah
Cause you make feel like, I've been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long
Yeah you make feel like, I've been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long

Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!
Oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!

You bring me to my knees
You make me testify
You can make a sinner change his ways
Open up your gates cause I can't wait to see the light
And right there is where I wanna stay

Cause your sex takes me to paradise
Yeah your sex takes me to paradise
And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah
Cause you make feel like, I've been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long
Yeah you make feel like, I've been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long

Oh oh oh oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Can I just stay here
Spend the rest of my days here
Oh oh oh oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Can't I just stay here
Spend the rest of my days here

Cause you make feel like, I've been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long
Yeah you make feel like, I've been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long

Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!
Oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Ooh!

Be Honest...

Now & Then

Short song written by Yamilet Mia and sung by Yomaris J. Maldonado for the Independent Feature film Buena Gente (Written and Directed by Fabian Baez).



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Don't Settle

"Don't settle!"  That's the advice most people give whether they are single, in a relationship or getting out of one.  I recently had a conversation with (A) a woman going through a divorce after over 14 years of marriage, (B) a woman in a rocky marriage that will probably not get a divorce, but stay semi-miserable, (C) a young man finalizing his divorce after a 5-6 year relationship and (D) a woman that finally decided to get married for the first time at 50 and realized she made a huge mistake.  All four people discussed the various reasons they were unhappy and/or getting a divorce and they all pretty much covered the same topics.

1.  People change over time.  (A, B, C)  I have heard this over and over again:  XYZ just isn't the way s/he used to be.  Some people get comfortable and stop taking care of themselves (gain weight, look sloppy, etc.).  Some people stop giving gifts or going on dates, or telling their partner how much they care or love the other person.  A handful of people stop helping their partner around the house or with the children because they get caught up in their own lives.  Some become more or less ambitious and the person you initially thought you married or started dating, gets lost and you don’t know the person you are left with. 

2.  Some partners grow apart (C).  Why is it that as we evolve and change/grow as individuals while in a relationship, we tend to grow apart from the person we are with.  Is it possible to grow together?  I hope that the changes my partner and I will inevitably go through will bring us closer and not push us apart.  I want to be able to evolve and grow WITH my husband/life partner and not end up hating who he becomes or vice versa.

3.  They didn't feel like they were getting what they needed or wanted from their significant other (A, B, C, D).  It could be an emotional, physical, intimate, mental or financial disconnect.  Whatever it is, it usually grows over time and may cause resentment towards the other person.  This is where communication plays a pivotal role in your relationship.  Tell your partner what you need/want/desire/require and if you are on the receiving end, try to do what your partner has requested.  Don’t do what you would want done in the situation, do exactly what the other person asked of you.  It may save both of you some headaches and arguments.

4.  You have to know in advance what you can live with and what you can't live without (A, C, D).  Are you a saver or a spender?  Is religion important to you? Do you want children?  Are you okay being the breadwinner of the household while your partner is a stay-at-home mother or father? There are some serious deal breakers you hold near and dear to you that you shouldn't have to compromise on because those are the things that will cause continued arguments and growing resentment over time.

5.  We don’t really have anything in common (B, C, D).  I don't think two people should do every single thing together, but I've always been one to think that a couple should have some similar hobbies that they can enjoy together.  This could be travel, religion, dance, outdoor adventures, cooking, reading, ice skating/skiing, swimming, volunteer work, working out and the list could go on forever.  If you are an outdoorsy person that likes to hike and workout ,whereas your partner is someone that likes to stay inside and read, you may end up growing apart….especially if there are many differences in what you like to do and you end up doing most of them by yourself.

6.  Watch out for the Red Flags (A, E).  Is your significant other incredibly jealous?  How do they treat their family members?  Do they communicate well with you?  How do they behave when they are angry?  Does s/he have commitment phobia?  Have they cheated on you or someone in their past?  Are they constantly getting fired at work?  Do they have money management issues or are they are constantly broke or borrowing money?  Do they argue or get into fights with random people?  Do you have a weird gut feeling about what s/he says (Do you trust him/her)?  Do they hide things from you and/or lie?  These are some of the many red flags that pop up in relationships and that you should watch out for because these things may only get worse over time.  I know...believe me I know, it's tough sometimes when you are "in love" to be able to see it from an outsiders point of view, but keep an eye out for things that make you go "hmmm....?"

The overarching theme in these conversations has been that you should do your homework (but hopefully it doesn't lead to analysis paralysis!), really understand what you are getting into and who you are involved with.  Don’t settle just because your clock is ticking, people keep asking when it’s going to be your time to settle down, or because people around you are getting married/having children, etc.  Moving in, getting married and/or having children are huge steps to make and it makes a world of a difference if you are taking those steps with someone you love and are compatible with.  

~A big shout out to Wendy Smith for her input and advice on relationships and marriage.

"Our perfect partner is not someone whose physical attributes match some arbitrary standard set for us by others, nor someone who is rich and powerful enough to give us the material things we want. The perfect partner is one who is respectful of our individuality and who we can trust to challenge and stretch us in ways that help us grow."

~An excerpt from the book "Confirmation"

R.I.P. Relationships!!

I kind of like his (semi-vulgar) view on Relationships...
Make sense to me.
What do you think?

R.I.P. Relationships!!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBiUOJr228Q&feature=relmfu

Kill the Vampires in your Life

It's interesting how some people walk around with what seems like a negative cloud covering them.  Some people live their lives believing that only negative things happen to them and low-and-behold, negative things keep happening to them.

What is your vampire?  What is the thing that is holding you back from living your best life now?  Is it:
     a job?
     a friend?
     a situation?
     a relationship?
     a family member?
     a decision you need to make?

There may be actions that you need to take or changes you need to make in your thoughts, words and/or actions to get rid of the vampires that are sucking your life source away from you.  Shine the light of truth onto the situation, analyze it and make the change that will help you overcome the negativity.  Fight for your right to be happy and live a positive, healthy life.


Kill the Vampires in your Life:  Video

Sending a big thank you to my brother Jose Maldonado for sharing this awesome video.  xoxo's

Improving your relationship with Yourself

I just found this great video about how to Improve your relationship with Yourself by saying positive things about yourself, always believing in yourself and making small changes in your life in a healthy/positive direction.

Click "Video" to watch TonyaTKO doing her magic to motivate the world, one person at a time: Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFw2DTMHJS0&feature=g-all-u (If the link does not work, please copy and paste it to your browser)

Feel free to watch it now or if you can't see it at the moment, listen to what she has to say and watch it when you have some free time.

Thanks Tonya for the motivation!!

SH*T BITTER FEMALES SAY ON VALENTINES DAY

Golden rules for finding your life partner

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.
Posted on August 13, 2009

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married, they’ll say: "We’re in love"; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there’s a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!
Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust – i.e. trust that I won’t get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one.. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5: Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

Another perspective...
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention...
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you….the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren’t really that important.
*Do you bring out the best in each other?
*Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
*Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can’t take someone to the altar to alter them. You can’t make someone love you or make someone stay..

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won’t find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.

Source

Why complicate life?

Missing somebody?.......Call
Wanna meet up?..........Invite
Wanna be understood?.......Explain
Have questions?......Ask
Don't like something?......Say it
Like something ?.......State it
Want something?.........Ask for it
Love someone ?......Tell them
Nobody will know what's going on in your mind.....it's better to express rather than to Expect......
You already have the NO. Take the risk of getting the YES
We just have one life keep it simple!

~Frances

Tell the truth!

As much as the truth hurts, sometimes it's better to speak the truth than be caught in a lie.

5 minutes

It’s sad to see or hear an elderly woman cry while expressing that she has no one to love her and care for her because her husband has passed, her children are grown and have moved on and her grandchildren barely make time to visit. It’s especially sad when that older woman is your very own grandmother. My grandmother turned 82 two days ago. I forgot to call her. I forgot to buy her a present. I forgot to stop by and give her a hug and kiss and tell her how much I love her.

How could I be such a horrible granddaughter? SHE called ME on HER birthday and I was too busy to call her back, so I called her a day later and she was very happy to hear my voice. When she reminded me about her birthday, it broke my heart. Her voice of sadness as she spoke about being lonely day and night, brings me stabbing pains to my chest because I could easily remedy her pain by being there. By taking 5 minutes to call her every couple of days or an hour a week to visit her. One simple hour, out of the 168 given to us in one week could make her the happiest woman ever, yet life gets in the way.

Things have got to change. I need to value both of my grandmothers while they are here on earth. While they can recount stories of a time I never knew. While they can give me wisdom I could never read in a book or see on the history channel. I need to be more aware of the beauty and importance that is family. Things have to change and I have to be the catalyst for that change.

Have you spoken to your grandparent(s) lately?

the greatest irony of LOVE

"the greatest irony of love:

loving the right person at the wrong time,

having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life.

and sometimes, you think you’re already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again.

for some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person.. and some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else.

most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love. love is always present. it’s just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little.

as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right.

most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love but only to discover that for them, we are just to pass the time.

while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.

so here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much.

give up when love isn’t enough,

and move on when things are not like before.

for sure, there is someone out there who will love you even more"

- A hopeless romantic that calls himself Chocolissous

I need to fit

If I can't see myself easily being photoshopped into the pictures of your life (the ones you post of yourself with your family and close friends), I simply can't see myself in a relationship with you. Is this crazy talk or do you feel the same? What are your thoughts when considering a new relationship?

10 SIGNS THAT SHE'S A BOOTYCALL

This is Hysterical and So True!

Ladies...no need to get offended. This information is coming from a man so listen up!

10 SIGNS THAT SHE'S A BOOTYCALL


Watch on Youtube

I won't tell anybody...

Parachute by Ingrid Michaelson

Watch on Youtube

The Surprising Habits That Can Sink a Marriage

Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own. My husband and I rarely argued, we had similar careers, we shared common interests. Things weren't perfect, but we seemed to be humming along in harmony better than most other couples we knew. In fact, nobody was more surprised than we were when our 17-year marriage ended in a New Jersey divorce court.

It turns out, though, that the signs of trouble had been there all along, if only I'd known what to look for. Instead, I was judging my marriage by the wrong standards—which, I've since learned, most of us do. In one now-famous study, researchers asked therapists, married couples, and others to watch videotaped conversations of ten couples and try to identify the relationships that had ultimately ended in divorce. The results were abysmal—even the therapists guessed wrong half the time.

So how can you diagnose the health of your relationship? Armed with huge volumes of data on married couples, scientists have identified some simple but powerful indicators that can help couples recognize marital strife long before their relationship hits the skids.

The Way You Were
Imagine a couple that go hiking on their first date. In a happy marriage, the wife might tell the story this way: "We got terribly lost that day. It took us hours to find our way back, but we laughed about how neither of us had a good sense of direction. After that, we knew better than to plan another hiking trip!"

But if the relationship was stressed, she might tell the story this way: "He lost the map, and it took hours to find our way back. After that, I never wanted to go hiking again." Same story, but instead of reflecting a sense of togetherness—using pronouns like "we" and "us"—it's laced with negativity. Research has shown that analyzing what's known as the marital narrative—the way you talk about the good and bad times of your early years together—is about 90 percent accurate in predicting which marriages will succeed or fail.

Had I been paying attention, my own how-we-met story could have told me a lot about how I was feeling in my marriage. Early in the relationship, when asked about our first date, I recounted a magical evening that ended with a walk around the Texas capitol building in Austin. I often laughed about the fact that I was limping the whole time because I'd recently had surgery on my foot. But later in my marriage, I changed the story slightly, always adding, "Of course, he didn't even notice."

Fight or Flight
When my husband and I first married, I felt lucky that we almost never fought. But studies show it's a mistake to judge the quality of a relationship by how much or how little you argue, particularly in the early years.

University of Washington researchers studied newlywed couples and learned, not surprisingly, that those who rarely argued were happier in the relationship than those who fought often. But three years later, the findings had reversed. Couples with an early history of bickering had worked out their problems and were more likely to be in stable marriages. The couples who'd avoided conflict early on were more likely to be in troubled relationships or already divorced.

Obviously, fighting that includes violence or verbal abuse is never acceptable. But most marital spats represent an opportunity to resolve conflicts and make things better. "We need to learn to tolerate conflict in our relationships," says Carolyn Cowan, a longtime marriage and family researcher at the University of California, Berkeley.

By Tara Parker-Pope

ARTICLE SOURCE

What's mine is mine and what's yours is...mine too!

“Is it dumb to trust the man you love? Is it dumb to believe him when he promises that he’ll be there for you no matter what?” ~Melanie Barnett

“It ain’t about whether you truth them. The only kind of trust that matters is a trust deed or a trust fund.” ~Tasha Mack

Season 1, Disk 3, Episode 2


At some point I thought that trust was enough to keep a relationship intact. The hopeless romantic in me genuinely thought that love and trust would always prevail in relationships. Unfortunately, reality has partially destroyed my idea of this ideal, semi-unrealistic world. There are so many people that enter relationships because of the possibility of gaining money, status, fame, etc. In today’s society, how does someone who is relatively wealthy or famous enter a relationship with someone that doesn’t have as many material/worldly goods, without thinking this new partner is in it to win it? Are pre-nuptual agreements more and more common? What would you think if your significant other required you to sign a pre-nup? If you are married or in a serious long-term relationship, how do you handle your household’s finances? Do you have completely separate accounts? One single account? Or one joint account for household expenses and personal accounts which you can use as you please? Is this method working well? Has it evolved over time?

A growing number of divorces are due to financial differences, whether it’s differences in current/future (even perceived) wealth, spending/saving habits and/or financial infidelity. Financial infidelity is when your partner is not being truthful about how they are handling the households finances. I am a huge saver and I like to spend when needed and on things that I feel will add value to my life (Travel, Education, small Luxuries). I can't see myself being with a person that is a huge spender because financial security is high on my priority list.

What would you do if you find out your partner has been committing financial infidelity. What if they are gambling your mutual money away? Spending money on things that you do not approve of? Not paying the bills on time or at all? Saving large sums of money without telling you (especially if you are struggling with your personal finances)? Would you feel betrayed/used? Would it be easy for you to trust him/her in the future with money? Would you consider splitting up?

How does money affect your relationship?

More on Financial Infidelity

More on Prenuptual Agreements

Before we sleep together, you should know that I’m sick.*

An Ontario man convicted of first-degree murder in the deaths of two of his sexual partners through HIV transmission has been declared a dangerous offender. He was diagnosed with HIV in 1996 and had unprotected sex with 11 women without telling them he was HIV-positive. Seven of these women later tested positive for HIV and two later died of complications of AIDS.

When it comes to having sex for the first time, whose responsibility is it to discuss sexually transmitted diseases? If you are sick, would you willingly tell your soon-to-be sexual partner that they could potentially get sick? Is it considered (attempted) murder if you know you have HIV/AIDS but don’t tell your partner(s) and they later get sick or die? Is it your responsibility to ask your partner to get tested for your own safety or would it be your partners responsibility to put their business on blast from the very beginning?

What if the person that has a disease (and knows it) doesn’t say anything, but the other person still takes every precaution to stay safe, yet the condom breaks? What if you ask your partner to get tested and they show you false proof and you still get sick? There are so many scenarios that could take place, so is anyone ever safe?

Does it come down to your morals? If you don’t tell someone that you are sick, does that mean you have no morals and values?

In today’s society where cheating is (unfortunately) the norm, how do you tell your supposed monogamous partner that you would like both of you to get tested every 6-12 months? Would they get offended? Would the relationship be tarnished by this simple request? Is this something that is agreed to before the relationship really takes off? Or is it something that is discussed if you start seeing changes in your relationship (they come home later and later/receive messages at odd hours of the day/they become more secretive or defensive)? Or do you bring up recurring testing when you start itching and scratching a little too much down there? By then, is it too late?

My personal belief is that this man should be put in jail indefinitely. He is willingly spreading this horrible disease and should be stopped in his tracks. Just because he got the disease from someone else does not make it right/just that he bring others down with him. Some people may say it's the women's fault for not asking him to get tested or for not using protection, but I believe he could/should have been open about his status.

Also, I think diseases/testing, etc. should be discussed and taken care of before sexual intercourse begins. I would not consider it offensive if my partner asked me to get tested every 6-12 months or if they did for their own sanity. If someone happens to know that they have a sexual problem/disease, they should be open about their issues so that their partner can make an informed decision. It is better to know in advance and be able to make the right decisions, than to be presented with a negative circumstance that may affect you for the rest of life. As adults, we need to be responsible when it comes to sex. There is a great deal of information readily available and being open and honest with yourself and your partner may lead to a much more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Thoughts?

*Not a true statement, but it got your attention right! ;o)