Free Hearts & Minds

SH*T BITTER FEMALES SAY ON VALENTINES DAY

2012-02-10T13:29:00.001-05:00

Golden rules for finding your life partner

2012-02-09T09:30:00.008-05:00

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.
Posted on August 13, 2009

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married, they’ll say: "We’re in love"; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there’s a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or
(2) You can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!
Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust – i.e. trust that I won’t get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one.. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5: Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

Another perspective...
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention...
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you….the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don’t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren’t really that important.
*Do you bring out the best in each other?
*Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
*Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can’t take someone to the altar to alter them. You can’t make someone love you or make someone stay..

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won’t find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.

Source

Why complicate life?

2012-01-09T12:21:00.001-05:00

Missing somebody?.......Call
Wanna meet up?..........Invite
Wanna be understood?.......Explain
Have questions?......Ask
Don't like something?......Say it
Like something ?.......State it
Want something?.........Ask for it
Love someone ?......Tell them
Nobody will know what's going on in your mind.....it's better to express rather than to Expect......
You already have the NO. Take the risk of getting the YES
We just have one life keep it simple!

~Frances

Tell the truth!

2011-12-30T16:49:00.001-05:00

As much as the truth hurts, sometimes it's better to speak the truth than be caught in a lie.

5 minutes

2011-11-13T22:37:00.003-05:00

It’s sad to see or hear an elderly woman cry while expressing that she has no one to love her and care for her because her husband has passed, her children are grown and have moved on and her grandchildren barely make time to visit. It’s especially sad when that older woman is your very own grandmother. My grandmother turned 82 two days ago. I forgot to call her. I forgot to buy her a present. I forgot to stop by and give her a hug and kiss and tell her how much I love her.

How could I be such a horrible granddaughter? SHE called ME on HER birthday and I was too busy to call her back, so I called her a day later and she was very happy to hear my voice. When she reminded me about her birthday, it broke my heart. Her voice of sadness as she spoke about being lonely day and night, brings me stabbing pains to my chest because I could easily remedy her pain by being there. By taking 5 minutes to call her every couple of days or an hour a week to visit her. One simple hour, out of the 168 given to us in one week could make her the happiest woman ever, yet life gets in the way.

Things have got to change. I need to value both of my grandmothers while they are here on earth. While they can recount stories of a time I never knew. While they can give me wisdom I could never read in a book or see on the history channel. I need to be more aware of the beauty and importance that is family. Things have to change and I have to be the catalyst for that change.

Have you spoken to your grandparent(s) lately?

the greatest irony of LOVE

2011-10-15T22:58:00.002-04:00

"the greatest irony of love:

loving the right person at the wrong time,

having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone right after that person walks out of your life.

and sometimes, you think you’re already over a person, but when you see them smile at you, you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending to be over them to ease the pain of knowing that they will never be yours again.

for some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person.. and some are afraid to see the one they love being held by someone else.

most relationships tend to fail not because of the absence of love. love is always present. it’s just that one was being loved too much and the other was being loved too little.

as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right.

most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love but only to discover that for them, we are just to pass the time.

while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger.

so here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much.

give up when love isn’t enough,

and move on when things are not like before.

for sure, there is someone out there who will love you even more"

- A hopeless romantic that calls himself Chocolissous

I need to fit

2011-10-05T19:55:00.000-04:00

If I can't see myself easily being photoshopped into the pictures of your life (the ones you post of yourself with your family and close friends), I simply can't see myself in a relationship with you. Is this crazy talk or do you feel the same? What are your thoughts when considering a new relationship?

10 SIGNS THAT SHE'S A BOOTYCALL

2011-10-04T13:55:00.002-04:00

This is Hysterical and So True!

Ladies...no need to get offended. This information is coming from a man so listen up!

10 SIGNS THAT SHE'S A BOOTYCALL

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I won't tell anybody...

2011-08-12T11:03:00.001-04:00

Parachute by Ingrid Michaelson

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The Surprising Habits That Can Sink a Marriage

2011-08-11T07:16:00.002-04:00

Can you spot a good marriage? I was pretty sure I could, starting with my own. My husband and I rarely argued, we had similar careers, we shared common interests. Things weren't perfect, but we seemed to be humming along in harmony better than most other couples we knew. In fact, nobody was more surprised than we were when our 17-year marriage ended in a New Jersey divorce court.

It turns out, though, that the signs of trouble had been there all along, if only I'd known what to look for. Instead, I was judging my marriage by the wrong standards—which, I've since learned, most of us do. In one now-famous study, researchers asked therapists, married couples, and others to watch videotaped conversations of ten couples and try to identify the relationships that had ultimately ended in divorce. The results were abysmal—even the therapists guessed wrong half the time.

So how can you diagnose the health of your relationship? Armed with huge volumes of data on married couples, scientists have identified some simple but powerful indicators that can help couples recognize marital strife long before their relationship hits the skids.

The Way You Were
Imagine a couple that go hiking on their first date. In a happy marriage, the wife might tell the story this way: "We got terribly lost that day. It took us hours to find our way back, but we laughed about how neither of us had a good sense of direction. After that, we knew better than to plan another hiking trip!"

But if the relationship was stressed, she might tell the story this way: "He lost the map, and it took hours to find our way back. After that, I never wanted to go hiking again." Same story, but instead of reflecting a sense of togetherness—using pronouns like "we" and "us"—it's laced with negativity. Research has shown that analyzing what's known as the marital narrative—the way you talk about the good and bad times of your early years together—is about 90 percent accurate in predicting which marriages will succeed or fail.

Had I been paying attention, my own how-we-met story could have told me a lot about how I was feeling in my marriage. Early in the relationship, when asked about our first date, I recounted a magical evening that ended with a walk around the Texas capitol building in Austin. I often laughed about the fact that I was limping the whole time because I'd recently had surgery on my foot. But later in my marriage, I changed the story slightly, always adding, "Of course, he didn't even notice."

Fight or Flight
When my husband and I first married, I felt lucky that we almost never fought. But studies show it's a mistake to judge the quality of a relationship by how much or how little you argue, particularly in the early years.

University of Washington researchers studied newlywed couples and learned, not surprisingly, that those who rarely argued were happier in the relationship than those who fought often. But three years later, the findings had reversed. Couples with an early history of bickering had worked out their problems and were more likely to be in stable marriages. The couples who'd avoided conflict early on were more likely to be in troubled relationships or already divorced.

Obviously, fighting that includes violence or verbal abuse is never acceptable. But most marital spats represent an opportunity to resolve conflicts and make things better. "We need to learn to tolerate conflict in our relationships," says Carolyn Cowan, a longtime marriage and family researcher at the University of California, Berkeley.

By Tara Parker-Pope

ARTICLE SOURCE

What's mine is mine and what's yours is...mine too!

2011-08-08T08:47:00.005-04:00

“Is it dumb to trust the man you love? Is it dumb to believe him when he promises that he’ll be there for you no matter what?” ~Melanie Barnett

“It ain’t about whether you truth them. The only kind of trust that matters is a trust deed or a trust fund.” ~Tasha Mack

Season 1, Disk 3, Episode 2

At some point I thought that trust was enough to keep a relationship intact. The hopeless romantic in me genuinely thought that love and trust would always prevail in relationships. Unfortunately, reality has partially destroyed my idea of this ideal, semi-unrealistic world. There are so many people that enter relationships because of the possibility of gaining money, status, fame, etc. In today’s society, how does someone who is relatively wealthy or famous enter a relationship with someone that doesn’t have as many material/worldly goods, without thinking this new partner is in it to win it? Are pre-nuptual agreements more and more common? What would you think if your significant other required you to sign a pre-nup? If you are married or in a serious long-term relationship, how do you handle your household’s finances? Do you have completely separate accounts? One single account? Or one joint account for household expenses and personal accounts which you can use as you please? Is this method working well? Has it evolved over time?

A growing number of divorces are due to financial differences, whether it’s differences in current/future (even perceived) wealth, spending/saving habits and/or financial infidelity. Financial infidelity is when your partner is not being truthful about how they are handling the households finances. I am a huge saver and I like to spend when needed and on things that I feel will add value to my life (Travel, Education, small Luxuries). I can't see myself being with a person that is a huge spender because financial security is high on my priority list.

What would you do if you find out your partner has been committing financial infidelity. What if they are gambling your mutual money away? Spending money on things that you do not approve of? Not paying the bills on time or at all? Saving large sums of money without telling you (especially if you are struggling with your personal finances)? Would you feel betrayed/used? Would it be easy for you to trust him/her in the future with money? Would you consider splitting up?

How does money affect your relationship?

More on Financial Infidelity

More on Prenuptual Agreements

Before we sleep together, you should know that I’m sick.*

2011-08-03T11:01:00.001-04:00

An Ontario man convicted of first-degree murder in the deaths of two of his sexual partners through HIV transmission has been declared a dangerous offender. He was diagnosed with HIV in 1996 and had unprotected sex with 11 women without telling them he was HIV-positive. Seven of these women later tested positive for HIV and two later died of complications of AIDS.

When it comes to having sex for the first time, whose responsibility is it to discuss sexually transmitted diseases? If you are sick, would you willingly tell your soon-to-be sexual partner that they could potentially get sick? Is it considered (attempted) murder if you know you have HIV/AIDS but don’t tell your partner(s) and they later get sick or die? Is it your responsibility to ask your partner to get tested for your own safety or would it be your partners responsibility to put their business on blast from the very beginning?

What if the person that has a disease (and knows it) doesn’t say anything, but the other person still takes every precaution to stay safe, yet the condom breaks? What if you ask your partner to get tested and they show you false proof and you still get sick? There are so many scenarios that could take place, so is anyone ever safe?

Does it come down to your morals? If you don’t tell someone that you are sick, does that mean you have no morals and values?

In today’s society where cheating is (unfortunately) the norm, how do you tell your supposed monogamous partner that you would like both of you to get tested every 6-12 months? Would they get offended? Would the relationship be tarnished by this simple request? Is this something that is agreed to before the relationship really takes off? Or is it something that is discussed if you start seeing changes in your relationship (they come home later and later/receive messages at odd hours of the day/they become more secretive or defensive)? Or do you bring up recurring testing when you start itching and scratching a little too much down there? By then, is it too late?

My personal belief is that this man should be put in jail indefinitely. He is willingly spreading this horrible disease and should be stopped in his tracks. Just because he got the disease from someone else does not make it right/just that he bring others down with him. Some people may say it's the women's fault for not asking him to get tested or for not using protection, but I believe he could/should have been open about his status.

Also, I think diseases/testing, etc. should be discussed and taken care of before sexual intercourse begins. I would not consider it offensive if my partner asked me to get tested every 6-12 months or if they did for their own sanity. If someone happens to know that they have a sexual problem/disease, they should be open about their issues so that their partner can make an informed decision. It is better to know in advance and be able to make the right decisions, than to be presented with a negative circumstance that may affect you for the rest of life. As adults, we need to be responsible when it comes to sex. There is a great deal of information readily available and being open and honest with yourself and your partner may lead to a much more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Thoughts?

*Not a true statement, but it got your attention right! ;o)

Es Demasiado Tarde

2011-05-30T09:13:00.003-04:00

I feel this song in the depths of my heart and soul
She does such an amazing job and the lyrics are fantastic
Enjoy!

Es Demasiado Tarde by Ana Gabriel

Watch on Youtube

Tú, quisiste estar allá
dijiste que quizá, ese era tu destino
después que todo te fallo, hoy quieres regresar
y ser feliz conmigo

Pero tu, no piensas que mi amor
por siempre te olvido, y exiges mi cariño
de veras lo siento no podré
volverme a enamorar
de ti ya no es lo mismo

Solo espero que entiendas que un amor
se debe de cuidar y no jugar con nadie
porque yo te daba mi querer y aun sin merecer
no te dolió dejarme

Ahora vuelves, buscando mi calor
diciendo que jamas lograste olvidarme
pero yo te aclaro de una vez
lo debes de entender
es demasiado tarde

Yo no te guardo rencor
pero tampoco amor, de ti ya nada queda
no niego fue mucho mi dolor
pero eso ya paso
mejor ya nunca vuelvas

Solo espero que entiendas que un amor
se debe de cuidar y no jugar con nadie
porque yo te daba mi querer y aun sin merecer
no te dolió dejarme

Ahora vuelves, buscando mi calor
diciendo que jamas lograste olvidarme
pero yo te aclaro de una vez
lo debes de entender
es demasiado tarde

Porque tu, quisiste estar allá
quisiste estar allá

Si Yo Fuera Un Chico - Beyoncé

2011-05-27T16:10:00.005-04:00

Hay muchos hombres que no saben cuando tienen una mujer que vale la pena y cuanto sus acciones nos hacen daño

Watch on Youtube (Spanish)

Watch on Youtube (English)

Nice Job B!!!

The Colour Of My Love by Celine Dion

2011-05-27T15:06:00.001-04:00

I absolutely love this song.

When you find the right one, you will know.
Love is love.

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Can you stop comparing?

2011-05-22T13:35:00.003-04:00

“There is no way that the love that I had with Big is the same thing that he has with Natasha.” – Carrie (Sex and the City, Season 2, Ex and the City)

Isn't it crazy how you could feel such a strong connection to someone, but then for whatever reason the relationship doesn't work out and then most relationships after that one are trying to win first place? In life, we compare tastes, clothing, shoes, prices, styles, sounds, colors, textures...in essence, we are always comparing something to something that may or may not be better, so how does one stop comparing when it comes to relationships?

Do you compare the love you felt for someone in the past, to the love you feel for someone in your present? Do you compare the love and affection that either person shows/showed you? Do you compare style of dress, mannerisms, sexual experiences/desire, ways of expressing emotions, laugh, smell, touch, beliefs regarding money/family/religion/culture? Is it a good idea to compare or does it bring more stress to your life? Is it easier to just say "the past didn't work out so just drop it and move on"? Is that easier said than done?

When you have experienced what you believe to be true, genuine love for another human being and you felt that reciprocated, how can you simply not compare anything else to it?

love is love

Sex and the CIty Facebook Page

The Rapture

2011-05-21T23:09:00.002-04:00

This whole end of the world nonsense really got me thinking about my life today. At around 5:57pm before the “Rapture” was supposed to take place, someone asked me what my last wish would be if it were really going to happen. I told him that I didn’t really have a last wish because I thought I had lived a pretty well rounded, fulfilling and happy life. I have learned a great deal, traveled, impacted other people in what I believe to be a positive way and I have been loved and been in love. What more can I possibly ask for?

Then I thought about it for a little while longer and if it were the end of my life (at this point in my life), I would wonder....
Did I get to tell everyone what I really felt about them (good or bad)?
Did I show my family enough love and affection?
Did I miss out on an important aspect of life by not having started a family?
Do I regret not having pursued certain passions more strongly than others?
Should I have donated more, danced more, laughed more, loved more...or less?
Could I have forgiven you for all of the hurt and pain you (un)knowingly caused me?

Some other things also came to mind....
Would anyone even miss me if I wasn't around anymore?
If so, who?
Who would really, truly, deeply be affected emotionally if I were no longer here?

I may never know the answers to these questions, but at this point I do know that I will continue trying to be as positive as possible and giving of myself as much as I can without letting go of who I am and what makes me uniquely me.

A Mother

2011-05-09T14:48:00.000-04:00

5/8/11

A mother
A woman
A friend
A hero
A mentor
A huge support system
A light at the end of a dark tunnel
Someone to cling to when you are hurting
Someone to look to when your vision is cloudy
Someone who's smile can melt your heart, fix what is wrong and make you happy in just a moment
Someone that doesn't see your flaws, but will easily tell you when you're wrong
Someone that will not only fix your booboo when you are two, but when you are thirty, forty and til her very last breath
Someone that will not only give you advice, they will usually (always) be right too!
A breath of fresh air
A wealth of knowledge
A true warrior and survivor
One of the strongest people you will ever meet...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually
One of the most caring beings on the planet
One of the greatest resources you can ever rely on
A reflection of who I am
A reflection of who I wish to become
A reflection of all that is positive and good
A friend
A woman
A mother

Anyone can have a baby, but only a real woman can become a mother.

These are mere words that only touch the surface of who a true mother is. The list is endless and rightfully so, as we could not be where we are today if it weren't for our mothers and all of the caring women in our lives because even those women in our lives that are not mothers are usually motherly, caring, motivating and guiding.
God bless all mothers, God bless all women today and every day of their lives. May they continue giving their gifts are freely as they do and may their love be reciprocated twenty times over.

My mother may never truly know how much she means to me, but the tears of joy that come to my eyes when I think of how wonderful she is are true, they come from my soul and I will continue trying to show her how amazing she is. I know I can be a pain in the butt sometimes so I thank you for being you and for always being there for me. I love you now and will love you always.
Happy Mother's Day

From my soul,
~Yomaris

Chris Brown - She Ain't You

2011-05-02T11:00:00.005-04:00

You break up with someone, start a new relationship, think you have really moved on, but after a while, you realize that this new person (as Chris Brown would say) "doesn't compare"? This person could be incredibly good for you and could treat you exactly how you think you should be treated, but there is simply something off. Something that just doesn't allow you to open up to them. What would you do if you were faced with this situation? Do you let go of your current partner and try to rekindle that old flame? What if you do and you realize that the old flame is now a pile of ashes? What if they have moved on or do not feel the same about you anymore? Do you continue in this new relationship while constantly thinking about the past? Would that be fair to your partner? Would you want that done to you? Why did the old relationship end? Were they legitimate reasons or just excuses for "I'm scared." Is it something you really want to go back to? Has so much time passed that you may realize you have grown apart and are both very different or something you may not really want anymore? Is it better to just do your best to let go of the past and try to move on? Or is it impossible to really move on until you know that it truly could not work with that first person?

What do you do when your every effort to move on is just resulting in dead ends that lead you back to that emotional crossroad?

btw...I couldn't help think this is directed towards Rhianna. Her song below...may have in fact been directed toward Chris....What do you think?

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You're not easy to love

2011-04-18T16:51:00.003-04:00

Sometimes relationships can be really complicated. Matters of the heart, emotions, love...can all be very complex. Why certain people fall in love with one another? Why after being hurt by someone over and over again, the heart hurts, but still loves? Why you can let go of someone physically, but mentally and emotionally your attachment doesn't fade? Why true love doesn't see faults, gives excuses for certain behaviors and "sticks around just a little while longer, just to make sure"? Why?

Complicated by Rhianna

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Who do you associate with?

2011-04-18T09:18:00.002-04:00

Did you know that who you associate with will inevitably affect who you are and how your life plays out in the long run? If you associate with people that are:
*goal oriented
*have positive/healthy relationships with their spouses/children/family members
*are on the right track mentally/at work/at home/at school
*have their finances on order and
*for the most part are moving in the a positive direction, etc.
...you will inevitably and undoubtedly be elevated to a higher level in all aspects of your life. If, however, you notice that the people you are generally surrounded by (whether its on a daily basis or every now and then):
*don't have jobs
*they are stuck in a life of debt
*seem unhappy
*don't have positive, fulfilling relationships with their 'significant' others and/or family members
*are generally taking versus giving, etc.
their ways of being may slowly affect you in a negative way....maybe even without you realizing the effect they are having on your life.

It important to evaluate who you associate with on a daily basis. Listen closely to the conversations you have and see who is providing you with meaningful, thought-provoking, positive energy versus who is always negative and plays the role of a victim in life with no where to turn. The latter person generally sucks the life out of those around them and do not progress/move forward or let others excel. The first group does not. Please enjoy the amazing Daily Word below from Ash Cash. To sign up for his fantastic e-mail list, please visit his website.

Hugs,
~yomaris

*******

Keep Good Company!! -
Daily Word April 18, 2011

Happy Monday my Warriors of Light! Hope you all had a great weekend and are now ready to take over the world!! Today's Daily Word is dedicated to your surroundings and environment. We know that you are what you think about most but who you surround yourself with speaks a great deal to who you are and who you will become as well! If you are spending your days with people or environments that are not conducive to progress and growth then you are setting yourself back! Life is about progression! At every stage you should be learning something new and developing new skills and habits that will bring you closer to greatness! Life isn't charity! I know we all have those people in our lives that we've known forever and feel obligated to, but really think about what those relationships are doing to your success. ONLY A KNIFE CAN SHARPEN A KNIFE!! Your only obligation in life is to be the best that you can be!! As Zig Ziglar once said "Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people."
-Ash'Cash

"Surround yourself with people who are great and you will become greater yourself."
-Michael B. Kitson

"Analyze your life in terms of its environment. Are the things around you helping you toward success - or are they holding you back?"
-W. Clement Stone

"Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great."
-Mark Twain

"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character"
-Bible

"Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them."
-W. Clement Stone

"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher."
-Oprah Winfrey

"If you're the smartest person in your group, then you need a new group."
-Les Brown

"Surrounding yourself with dwarfs does not make you a giant"
-Yiddish Proverb

UNRESOLVED

2011-04-15T11:37:00.002-04:00

Before being able to really open your heart to a new relationship, there are some things you have to let go of....Unresolved relationship issues you hold in your heart must be buried and forgotten.

UNRESOLVED - Theatrical Trailer
by Kelly La Rosa-Sanusi

UNRESOLVED - Theatrical Trailer from Kelly La Rosa-Sanusi on Vimeo.

Watch on Vimeo

Cast List:
Taina Elena Hernandez..........Kate
Yomaris Maldonado...............Sisters
Wanda Nobles Colon.............Mom
Brett Grinstead......................Dad
Matthew Harris......................Ex-boyfriends
.............................................James

Stay tuned for the final cut coming soon!!

2011-04-13T18:36:00.000-04:00

This makes me want to dance!!!

Watch on Youtube

Tonight I'm "Love"-ing You

2011-04-08T10:47:00.001-04:00

This is some serious freaky-ness!

Watch on Youtube

Adele - Someone Like You

2011-04-06T00:18:00.004-04:00

I meant to post this 2 days ago...darnnit! Sorry for the delay

Watch Official Video

I just can't trust you anymore

2011-03-22T22:32:00.002-04:00

33 minutes. That’s how long I waited for my bus in the cold and listened to a young lady talking to who seemed to be her ex. Okay…so I was eavesdropping. I’m sorry. It was so bad that I pushed my way to the back of the bus where she was sitting so I could sit next to her! Lmbo! I couldn’t help it; it was like a soap opera. She kept reiterating how she was so much more at ease now that he wasn’t in her life. How although she wasn’t happy/ecstatic all the time, at least, she was not worried about who he was looking at, who he was flirting with, who he was potentially cheating on her with, etc. It seemed like he was trying to convince her that he was faithful and that they should still be together. She was stern while stating that it was over and that she was better off without him. She started off by telling him how he changed over the course of their relationship and how he would have broken up with her had he found “those messages” on her phone from another man. She mentioned how in love with him she was and how he ruined it because she did not trust him at all anymore. I wanted to snatch the phone from her and give him a piece of my mind but that, of course, would probably have been a little rude and uncalled for. I swear, I almost missed my stop because of how engrossed I was in this one sided conversation. I was almost going to follow her home, but that too would have probably been weird, so I jumped off the bus before the bus driver drove off. The funny part was when I got off the bus. I started downloading an update for Pandora on my phone…random…and the FIRST song that played…I mean the very first song that played when the update was downloaded was “Es Mentiroso” by Olga Tañon. OMG! If you don’t know Spanish I could encourage you to learn it…right now…so you can understand the lyrics to this song. I WISH I could have played this song on the bus…to her…or when I, in my imagination snatched the phone from her…I would have played it to him. HA!

It’s interesting how similar so many relationships I hear about now a days are. Actually…it’s quite sad. Good girl meets dude that thinks he is the ish, she falls in love and he ends up breaking her heart (by straying) because he is not ready to settle down. Trust is so important in relationships and once that bond is broken it is sometimes impossible to mend. Who knows, maybe he was always faithful to her, but she doesn’t trust him anymore and it will be very difficult to gain that trust. He will have to work double time to bring her mind to a happy place where she doesn’t have to worry about who that random call was from at 11:42pm, or why he got home an hour later than when he said he would or why this or why not that.

I have realized that when you don’t trust the person you are with, the pain and anguish in your heart and constant roller coaster of tricks your mind plays on you is not healthy. It is much easier to either (a) be alone and stress free or (b) be with someone that brings worry-free / drama-free / happiness into your life. Good luck young lady! Like Hov said…traded in a gold (or in this case rusty imitation) for a Platinum Rolex…and it’s on to the next one. ;)

2011-03-13T23:47:00.001-04:00

"People say you don't know what you've got 'til its gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just thought you'd never lose it” -Xio Laracuente

Get a job first and then get Married!

2011-03-03T15:08:00.002-05:00

Watch on Youtube

TV Marriage Proposal

2011-02-26T19:07:00.001-05:00

This Marriage Proposal is so beautiful!!

I Love You

2011-02-01T19:25:00.000-05:00

This is hysterical!

Mishka the talking Dog

Yesterday by Toni Braxton [feat. Trey Songz]

2011-01-28T12:49:00.001-05:00

I LOVE this song!!!

Watch on YouTube

The One I Gave My Heart To by Aaliyah

2011-01-27T16:09:00.000-05:00

Watch on Youtube

Sweet Misery by Amel Larrieux

2011-01-10T11:24:00.001-05:00

What a fantastic artist and song!

Watch on YouTube

2011-01-05T17:01:00.001-05:00

"When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it's really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do."

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, Page 146

When you give it up...you really give IT up!

2010-11-09T13:57:00.001-05:00

Does this seem accurate to you?

Do Women Lose Their Power Once They Give Up The Goods?

"The power struggle between men and women is one that is ongoing and never-ending. Both genders come into dating with their own agendas, and this is where the miscommunication starts. Agendas may shift if the individuals involved become enamored with one another. But, from their first interaction, there is always a plan of action.

The plan of action is to achieve power over the other person and get them to lean towards their goal. Some have no intentions on abusing the power. They only want their fair share and are willing to share. Others come into the game knowing what they want from the other person and are willing to manipulate to achieve their final goal; even if it means hurting the other person.

The power shift between men and women goes as follows: In the beginning the woman is the one with the power and the man willingly gives it to her. Why? Because she has something he wants. He wants to have sex with her. His plan may shift later after he gets to know her. Then he may want to have a committed relationship. But, initially, his primary goal was to stringently pursue his plan of action: The panties. On the contrary, women go into their dealings with men with their own set of priorities. In order of hierarchy, her plan of action goes as follows: She wants his love, affection, loyalty, and sex. Notice the priority difference? Meanwhile, he is not the least bit alarmed by her having the power. In fact, he prefers it, because the power that she has is what is going to make her comfortable. This temporary power she feels is what is going to cause her to let her guard down and let the man pursuing her in. You can take that in more than one, by the way.

Eventually, the woman gives in to the desires of the man. By this point, she may also have the same strong desires, but she never once loses sight of her original plan of action. She still wants a relationship with him but she loses all of her good damn sense and makes his plan a priority over hers. So, she gives up her honey pot and hopes for the best. Now, there could be two outcomes from this. One is that their intimacy could lead the man to become more attached to the woman. That is if he already had a foundation of emotion toward her. He had to already be into her to some extent for this to happen. The second and less desirable outcome by women is that the man chunks the deuces at her.

Show of hands if you have experienced the following scenario at least once in your life, ladies:You are dating a guy, and he is perfect. He does everything for you; seems so attentive and nice. The moment you give him the honey pot his personality and demeanor toward you changes. That is because there has been a power shift. Women can literally feel the power being drained from them the moment the man climaxes. Suddenly, he is in his he-man stance. He becomes less attentive and less friendly. He never wants to go out of his way for you; when before making you happy was his pleasure. He might not want to spend as much time with you or make you a priority. That is because he realizes he now possesses the power; he has conquered you sexually. And, if he is a jerk, who only wanted that to begin with, then as a result, he will become less interested in you.

Meanwhile, the woman suddenly feels bamboozled. “What happen? Why is he acting this way?” The moment her goal and needs were placed second to his, she gave him her power. Deep down she knows this and so does he. This is why he now can behave like a jack ass with less fear. You have been conquered. The woman may then feel a range of emotions from anger, to feeling played to emotional abandonment.

Sex is more than just an act for some women. For some women, every instance of sex is always an emotional experience to be cherished. The idea that this man is now showing his true colors becomes too much for them to handle; even if the circumstance never called for her to become emotional about the sex or the man never gave signs that he was going to be emotionally available to her.

The moral of this story, ladies, is never to give up that juicy spot until you feel that you are getting what you truly desire from the guy. If it is a committed relationship you desire from him, don’t have sex until you feel secure enough to do so. This way you will not feel emotionally trumped. Also, if you know that you are not one of those chicks who can separate having commitment-free sex from having a deep-rooted emotional bond with a man, don’t have sex until you feel you have that.

Fellas, if you have absolutely no intentions of being monogamous with the woman and know that you are only in it for the panties, be direct about your needs. Not all women want to be in a relationship with you. Some want what’s between your legs just as bad as you want what’s between theirs. Approaching women with honesty about your intentions could be what prevents your tires from being slashed or car windows busted out because you two had a sexual miscommunication."

by LJ Knight on Monday November 1st 2010

Source

I will Always Love You

2010-11-04T17:15:00.002-04:00

This song will always hit home ... The lyrics are so deep.

I will Always Love You
By: Whitney Houston

YouTube

Prophetess Juanita Bynum - No More Sheets

2010-10-21T22:17:00.000-04:00

Youtube

2010-10-19T22:14:00.000-04:00

Love Takes Time
By: Mariah Carey

Youtube Video

Great Song!

2010-10-17T06:52:00.001-04:00

Mala Gente
By: Juanes

Youtube Video

Love/Work

2010-10-05T23:40:00.003-04:00

Below is a blog from a friend of mine. I must say, it hit home when I read it and the thoughts just kept flowing! My commentary is below his blog entry.

Source: Straightpen

Love/Work by JUSHH

Would’ve came back for you
I just needed time, to do what I had to do
Caught in the life, I can’t let it go
Whether that’s right, I will never know
Hope you forgive me, never meant wrong
Tried to be patient, it waited too long
But I would’ve came back, would’ve came back for you
- Drake, “Paris Morton Music” (2010)

Stop me if you heard this before…

“I want to be with you, but I’m focused on my career right now”

It is said that men avoid commitment and they use their career as an excuse. Well being a man who has done the former and has been accused of the latter, I am here to tell you… don’t believe everything that you hear.

Five years ago I decided to start my own company. My business, especially in the beginning, consumed me. So much so that it became a large part of whom I was. The last thing on my mind at that time was a relationship. And because of that, I’ve allowed some pretty special women to walk into and out of my life. But it wasn’t because I was scared to commit but the complete opposite, I was committed to something other than you.

A good relationship takes a significant amount of time and effort. Similarly, high career aspirations also require the same. And as long as there are only 24 hours in a day, something has to give. Sure, any man can say, “yes” to a relationship but what is the point, if you know that you can’t hold up your end of the deal? A woman can be patient and understanding but how long can you take being the #2 priority? Will you be able to ignore all the Blackberry interruptions or accept having an emergency cancel a date? Eventually you will complain to him about how he’s never around and blame him for the relationship falling apart.

You can’t say that you want a man with ambition and then criticize his ambitious efforts.

Its not that we don’t want to be with you, its that we know it won’t work out and would rather avoid being the villain. We know that because our career must come first, it’s simply not fair to drag you down that road – even if it means losing you. A selfish man would try to have both and guilt you into staying in an unfulfilling relationship. A good man is brave enough to make a choice and won’t accept a woman’s heart until he’s ready to take care of it. The best thing that a busy man can say to a woman is, “I’m not ready.”

Choosing this path is a painful process because you are never sure if you are making the right decision. You constantly go back and forth, doubting your choice. There’s nothing harder than watching the woman you care about cry in your arms because she can’t understand why you can’t be together. It’s impossible to explain that you will be able to give her everything as soon as you reach your goals and get stability. Sadly, you have no idea when that moment will come and if she will still be around when it does.

So the next time you hear a man say this to you, please don’t jump to conclusions and assume that he is just looking for excuses to be promiscuous. Instead try to understand his point of view and recognize his painful dilemma. It’s not easy to walk down a dark path towards a door that you may never find. It’s even harder when you know that you’re leaving a beautiful sunshine behind you. But if you want to achieve your dreams, you have to put your head down, stay focused and work hard. And hopefully when it all works out, you’ll be able to come back to her.

And to those who have heard those words from me and were too skeptical to wait,

I would have came back for you, too.

Free Hearts and Minds commentary regarding the above Blog...
What are your thoughts?

There is soooo much I can write regarding your blog, but I will try to keep it short and to the point. As always, great post J!

Please note that when I refer to "You" I am referring to the career oriented men who think the way you describe in your post.

I find it commendable that you would want to let someone go instead of ‘dragging them along’ while you sort through your life and work out all of the kinks. I have noticed that a growing number of men find it important to have their 'ish together financially before 'settling down.' Theoretically it sounds great. Men have been historically seen as the bread-winner, the head of the household, the person that takes care of those that depend on him (his lady and children). Therefore it makes some sense to stay focused on his career towards the beginning of it to be able to provide for his family in the future.

In response to this: “You can’t say that you want a man with ambition and then criticize his ambitious efforts,” I would never criticize the efforts of an ambitious man. Those men are hard to come by! However, the problem I find with this one-track mindedness is that it seems like you will never be able to juggle all of the balls being thrown your way. That is what we criticize. When you finally make it to the end of this “dark path” which one hopes leads to financial freedom, and you finally get into a relationship with someone, the struggles do not just disappear. They can in fact multiply. If you decide to get married, own a home, have children, purchase some pets, etc, what if the roof caves in because of a leak, you find out you have a terminal illness, or a recession hits and slows down your source of income...what then? Do you bail out on the woman and family in your life so that you can get yourself back on the "right" track? Or do you learn how to juggle all of these extra balls life just slammed into your face?

It seems like women, now-a-days, or even way back when, have to be/have been superwomen and take on tons of responsibilities all at the same time. Some women work full-time jobs, go home to cook, clean, take care of their children, help them study, bathe and get them to bed, take care of their men by performing their womanly requirements and then they have to get up the next morning with a smile on their face, breakfast on the table and take on the world all over again. I have similar characteristics with Women between the ages of 17 and 50+. On the other hand, "Men" between the ages of 25 and sometimes 37+ can't work on getting their career up and running while showing love and affection to the person that loves them?! Pardon my French, but get the F*CK outta here! I just don't get it. I kind of would almost prefer to be told you haven't been around the block enough times and need to sleep with more women. Truth be told, if you can't juggle a relationship and the job/career now, how can I be so sure you're not going to run away with your tail between your legs when the shit really hits the fan? Otherwise, just tell me you just don’t love me enough, because that is surely what it’s going to seem like when 7 months after you break up with me, you’ve finally “made it” and you end up marrying some random female who just came into your life. It’s funny how the world works! At that point, I will look back and think… “oh wow, he was cheating on me with this chickenhead all along.” Spare us the heart-ache, tears, time we will never get back, emotional and mental stress and break-it off within the first couple of months if you know you cannot make us #1 or even #1.5 on your list. Also spare the next man that is ready to settle down, the struggles he will have to endure because now you have caused one good girl to think every man is the same.

You ask, “Will you be able to ignore all the Blackberry interruptions or accept having an emergency cancel a date?” I would think that most successful, worth-your-while, women would answer “Yes” because we have lives too and may sometimes need to cancel a date or two. But does that mean every single date needs to be cancelled for a year or two because of business? No, those are one-off situations. Not very many people cancel a dinner and movie (which usually takes place at night and/or on the weekend) because something came up in the office…Catch my drift?

Here are a couple of rhetorical questions that come to mind after reading your post. Why not grow with someone by your side? Someone who loves you and will support you through the highs and lows while you are getting your career off the ground? Why not experience the ups and downs with someone that will be there for you through it all instead of running around sleeping with every chic that comes your way? Once you do make it "big", how much more difficult is it going to be to find someone that wants you for who you are and not what you have/own/are about to purchase? Lastly, when is enough, enough (i.e., when you “make it” to the first prong on this ladder of success you have defined for yourself, are you going to walk away from the next sunshine because you have to get to the next prong?)?

What does a poke mean to you?

2010-09-27T22:01:00.007-04:00

What does a poke mean to you?

Does it mean:
"Hey, haven't seen/spoken to you in a while, just wanted to say hi!" or
"Remember me?! I'm alive!" or
"Come look at my pics and write on my wall please!!" or
";) You're kinda cute." or
"Hey mamacita, here's a virtual poke, but wait til I see you in person ;o)" or
"You didn't respond to my texts, voice messages and/or inboxes, so this is yet another reminder to write back!!"
or ... ?

Does it depend who you poke? Do you usually poke people of the opposite sex? Only people you are attracted to? Only friends or family members? Do guys usually poke other guys?

Is it just me or does this poking business have a sexual undertone?

How do you respond to a poke by someone you barely know? Do you poke back? Do you write them a private message? or a public message on their wall? Do you call them out by writing..."Hey, thanks for the POKE! Hope all is well!" What if you are in a relationship, should you poke single people of the opposite sex? Is that crossing the line? Should you tell your significant other that you are poking people online?

What is this poking thing really all about?

Let's Move in Together!

2010-09-25T21:54:00.002-04:00

Baby, we've been together for almost four years, and I love you, I think it's time we move in together. We can live together for a while (one or two years) and see if we can stand one another and then decide if we want to get married or not. If we hate each other in a year or two, one of us could just move out and it would only be four to six years invested and lost, versus the rest of our lives....

Know anyone that has had a similar conversation with his or her partner? Or at least thought it, but never actually verbalized it? I am torn. I can see how living together for a while and then cutting your losses before actually tying the knot, would make things a lot easier and much less expensive. However, I also believe that deciding to live together without being engaged/married is a bit non-committal. If you are truly in love and neither one of you can see yourself raising a family and/or living the rest of your life with someone else, why not go for the goal? Why not just get married?

I believe/would hope that if you are married and you have vowed to your partner and to yourself that you will be with this person through thick and thin, 'til death do you part, it is more likely that you will want to work through any issues that may arise. Especially once you have invested in a home and/or children are involved, I would think couples are more inclined to go to couples counseling and work on bettering their union versus just letting it all go. If you are just testing the waters, you may give up a lot faster because, well, what do you truly have to lose? Also, some couples may live together so long without being married and decide there is no point in getting married, because their situation is as if they were already married.

I know a lot of studies have been done regarding co-habitation before marriage and I know the church is quite opposed to this phenomenon, but I am not thinking about it in terms of your vow to the church/before God so it's not about religion in my mind. The way I see it, it's simply about your commitment to your partner and your want/need to experience life with the person that completes you. I think that if a couple is set on getting married and they are engaged and decide to move in together with a similar vision about their future together, the success rate would be higher than just deciding to live together to see if they could deal with one another’s idiosyncrasies.

Since I have not experienced co-habitation before or after marriage, I can really only offer my semi-confused opinion about it all. Everyone must really discuss the pros and cons of all scenarios with their partner and come up with the best solution for their particular situation. I know it will definitely be something to discuss with my partner when the time comes, as it is a very important decision to make. The truth is that I will probably end up living with my significant other before marriage, but only when I know it’s the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with. When I am committed to someone, I will do my all to make sure the relationship is a healthy, fulfilling, long-lasting one. Hopefully I will find someone that has similar relationship values.

I wish you all the best of luck!

I would love to hear from readers that:
* lived with a significant other before marriage, got married and have been happily married for over 5 years;
* waited to live together until after marriage and have been happily married for over 5 years;
* lived with a significant other before marriage and decided not to get married;
* lived with a significant other before marriage, got married and got divorced;
* waited to live together until after marriage and then got divorced.

Various Readings:

Article 1
Article 2
Article 3
Article 4
Article 5
Article 6
Article 7
Article 8

On-Again, Off-Again Relationships

2010-09-24T13:02:00.001-04:00

"Most of us have experienced a “bad but it feels so good” relationship at least once in our lives. The chemistry we experience with this person may cloud the reality that perhaps we’re not really such a great match. On-again, off-again relationships increase stress and take an emotional toll on a couple. So why do we allow ourselves to continue in the drama of a yo-yo relationship?

Some people love the “highs” of a tumultuous relationship so much that they readily accept the lows—the fights, the break ups, the tears. But in healthy relationships, you are not always going to feel a “high.” Eventually, your emotions and hormones will level off—at this point you can determine if you and your partner have what it takes to make your relationship last.

Another reason some people seem to get caught up in an on-again/off-again relationship is simply out of habit. They are used to being in a relationship, and when they’re not in one, a few days of loneliness can spur an unhappy person into giving an ex a second (or third, or fourth) chance. However, being single can be a tremendous opportunity for growth, development and self-awareness. And truly—are we ever really alone? Sometimes, surrounding ourselves with friends, family and co-workers is a healthier alternative than being in a relationship that will likely go awry again.

Low self-esteem can also make us vulnerable to on-again, off-again relationships. But healthy self-esteem comes from within—not from a boyfriend or girlfriend. If you are struggling to boost your self-esteem on your own, a professional life coach or counselor is likely to be a better source for helping build your confidence.

If you find yourself in a relationship that seems to be stuck in the on-off cycle, ask yourself why. Why do you consistently go back to this person, knowing the relationship isn’t going to work? What is the core issue between you? Do you have different values and beliefs? Is he/she abusive in some way? Is there an addiction problem? Or perhaps the issue is something fundamental, like you live in different cities and neither of you is willing to compromise. Regardless of the reason your relationship keeps spinning off its wobbly axis, chances are, it’s not going to change.

Granted, there are exceptions. Sometimes being apart can lead to a deeper appreciation of the other person. A reunion can be sweet; it’s tempting to assume your partner has permanently changed for the better. But unless both people are willing to commit to working on the big issues, underlying conflicts will simmer and eventually rear their ugly heads.

So, how can you decide whether it’s time to cut and run for good—or sign on for the long haul? A recent article in Psychology Today recommends the following:

(1) Adopt a worst-case-scenario mindset. Many perpetual relationship “yo-yoers” keep coming back because they assume they can change their partner’s worst habits. But that’s usually wishful thinking, psychotherapist Toni Coleman says. “You have to assume that the behaviors you see will get more entrenched and worse over time. Ask yourself, ‘If that turns out to be the case, will I still want to be in this relationship?’”

(2) Seek advice from a trusted third party. Therapists can fill this role, but family and friends can be just as helpful.

(3) Take a time-out. While hiatuses are par for the course in on-again, off-again relationships, resolve to make this one different. Use the emotional distance to think clearly about what you want from a long-term relationship. If your partner doesn’t measure up, make the hiatus permanent."

Source: Two of Us

All I Want is You

2010-09-14T18:48:00.004-04:00

Isn’t it ironic that when I wanted you, you didn’t want me and now you want me, but I don’t want you? Life, emotions, love, people: all so very complicated. As my good friend Liz recently mentioned, some people “just don’t value what they have.” We have something, which may not be 100% perfect, yet we let that go because we want something else and when we obtain that something else, we don’t want that either. Then we wish we had what we had before, the thing we had before we got the thing we supposedly really wanted. Confusing!?! Read that last sentence again…slowly. Then we wish we had what we had before…the thing we had before we got the thing we supposedly really wanted. That’s just how some people’s minds work….They are confused. Not content. Selfish.

A couple of weeks ago I sat down and listened to “All I Want is you” by Miguel Jontel and I told myself I had to write about this song. He is reminiscing about the woman that is no longer in his life. She left him and he admits it was his fault. From the sound of it, he wanted to continue his player ways and once he went back to living it up, he realized that there is no substance in the fleeting relationships he is involved in. The “distractions” are not providing him the sustenance he obtained from being with the girl that he let go.

If she was a good woman to him, I hope she has moved on and found someone that will value her true worth. The way this world works though and as unfortunate as it may be, he may come begging, she may say yes and then the roller coaster ride will begin yet again. Have you experienced something similar? Know someone else that did? What was the outcome?

All I Want is You
By: Miguel Jontel ft. J. Cole

Youtube Video

Lyrics

J. Cole
I never thought I see that day that you’re my old girl
Now I’m stuck here hollering at old girl
Got one, Got two, three four girls
Shotgun in the drop made her right
Hut one, Hut two told them niggas take a hike
Then it’s on to the next one on to the next one
Hard to move on when you always regret one

Miguel
I wondered some time. I wondered if I was wrong
Trying to do right by you got me here
Now all I am is alone
Cause honey our closeness and that
don’t compare at all
And I bet all do is distract me but now
Deep down when I face it

Chorus : Miguel
All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you now
Now that you’re gone, gone, gone

Miguel
Cause being your friend is killing me softly
I hear voices
Wonder where I went wrong
It was my fault
And the wrong time I wonder so often
Regret gets exhaustin’
Cause hon our closeness and that
Don’t compare at all
And I bet all they do is distract me but now
Deep down when I face it

Chorus : Miguel
All I want is you
All I want is you now
All I want is you now
Sugar, now that you’re gone, gone, gone
All I want is you
All I want is you now
All I want is you now
Baby, now that you’re gone, gone, gone

Miguel
Cause they don’t smile or smell like you
Cause they don’t make me laugh or even cook like you
Girl they don’t photograph, nah they don’t sex like you
Let face it I can’t replace
that’s why All I want is you

J Cole
I hit the club when you left me thinking that could heal
Trying to celebrate my Independence Day Will Smith
Baby gurl who I’m kidding
still sick Real sh!t
All my new bit*hes seem to get old real quick
Could it be you everything these plain bit*hes couldn’t be
Is it a sign from the Lord that I shouldn’t be
Lost in the Player way sorta get old to me
Got me on layaway, Girl you gotta a hold on me
I say I’m wrong, You say come again
Damn said I was wrong look don’t rub it in
I got a lot on my mind
Got a flock full of dimes
Like a line full of hoes, Look how they coming in
Just saying
you don’t wanna have me then somebody will
I’m playing
Weight on my chest like I body build
I’m praying
You ain’t content with trying to do your thang
Hey come back baby boomerang

Miguel
That’s why
All I want is you now
All I want is you now
All I want ïs you now
Sugar, now that you’re gone, gone, gone, gone
You know that you’re gone

Don't Let Facebook Ruin Your Relationship !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-13T19:18:00.000-04:00

YouTube Video

Unfortunate: Trey Songz

2010-09-10T15:31:00.000-04:00

Youtube Video

Only Girl (in the World)

2010-09-09T21:38:00.003-04:00

Imagine for a couple of seconds the following:
* Your significant other only expresses love and affection behind closed doors.
* When you are out in public, it seems like you are not in a relationship (no PDA, no pictures can be taken, etc).
* On facebook - what could be a relationship killer - every man, woman and child, east coast, west coast and world wide, is poking them, writing on their pictures with that annoying flirtatious winky face ;) and they are letting it happen (even better yet, they may be feeding into it by writing back), essentially showing others that this sort of behavior is okay...that the door is open.

How would that make you feel? Wouldn't you feel like you are not the only one in their world? That you are not the only one they'll ever love? That they may be sharing their heart with another/others?

The chorus of Rihanna's new single entitled "Only Girl" (below) says:
"Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart"

Attention, love, affection, showing your lady off as your pride and joy, these are all things that help women feel secure in a relationship. Men want to know that the woman by their side is proud when they walk arm in arm. So, essentially, we want the same things. Whether it's behind closed doors, or out and about, we want to feel security and love in our relationship. We want to know that our man is not turning around to see the next chic (or man for that matter) walking past. We want to know that he is turning other women down...even the perritas who insist that it is okay to cheat. Normal women want security, fidelity, love and open, honest communication (and those things I wrote above...and maybe help around the house...and help with the children's homework every now and again and ...)… alright, alright, we mayyyy seem demanding sometimes, but aren't those some of the basic fundamental building blocks of true, loving relationships?

Video

Download: http://www.gwizmusik.com

ONLY GIRL
By: Rihanna

[VERSE 1]
I want you to love me, like I’m a hot pie
Keep thinkin’ of me, doin’ what you like
So boy forget about the world cuz it’s gon’ be me and you tonight
I wanna make your bed for ya, then imma make you swallow your pride

[CHORUS 1]
Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only girl in the world…

[CHORUS 2]
Like I’m the only one that’s in command
Cuz I’m the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man

(CHORUS 1)

[VERSE 2]
Want you to take me, like a thief in the night
Hold me like a pillow, make me feel right
Baby I’ll tell you all my secrets that I’m keepin’, you can come inside
And when you enter, you ain’t leavin’, be my prisoner for the night

(CHORUS 1)

[BRIDGE x2]
Take me for a ride
Oh baby, take me high, high
Let me make you first
Oh make it last all night

(CHORUS 1, CHORUS 2)

Only girl in the world, girl in the world (x2)

(S)He Keeps on Passing me By

2010-09-09T05:29:00.001-04:00

"Find Your Love

Let me ask you a question, do you think that you’ve already met the person that you will spend your life with, or has that person not entered your life yet? Take some time to think about it – your answer may say more about who you are than you think.

If you think that the person that you will marry is already in your life than perhaps you are already in a relationship with that person. If that’s the case then what is keeping you from making that jump? Too young? Scared of commitment? Trust issues? Something is keeping you from walking down that aisle and you need to figure it out and fix it. If you’re not in a relationship and that person is in your life, then you could be someone that is scared to take a risk. You should go up to that girl who you see at that coffee shop every morning or that guy that you see walking his daughter home from school in the afternoon. It could be a long-time friend of yours who you’ve dismissed because you two were never “single at the same time”. The best relationships often start as friendships so make that move.

If you think that special person has not entered your life then maybe there is a flaw on your part when it comes to relationships. When we break up with people, we often find faults in the other party and chalk it up to him or her not being "the one". But maybe the problem is you and you should make more of an attempt to make the next relationship work. People who believe they are still waiting to meet "Mr. or Ms. Right" may be people who are impossible to please – people who are searching for perfection that doesn’t exist. Perhaps you take the smallest imperfection and use that as an excuse to push them away. You may need to realize that the perfect person for you is far from perfect.

Love has a weird way of appearing and disappearing on a moment’s notice. The problem that we all have is we constantly over analyze and complicate our situations and we allow opportunities to pass us by. The truth is we’ve probably all met someone who could have or should have been our future spouses but something got in the way and that chance was lost. And no matter who you are, the next “the one” will come into your life again someday. And when he or she does...

Just remember to hold on tight and don't let go."

Source: Straightpen: She keeps on passing me by

Making a Baby

2010-08-25T02:53:00.002-04:00

The Smiths were unable to conceive children
and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance,
a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed,
'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please come in and have a seat.

After a moment she asked, blushing,
'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me.
I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch,
and perhaps a couple on the bed.
And sometimes the living room floor is fun.
You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor?
No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee
a good one every time.
But if we try several different positions
and I shoot from six or seven angles,
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time.
I'd love to be In and out in five minutes,
but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase
and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
considering their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so.
I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep
to get a good look.'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith,
her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied.
'And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -
I could hardly concentrate,
and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began to nibble on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward.
'You mean they actually chewed on your,
uh... equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes..
Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

Source: Unknown

You cannot force love.

2010-08-24T10:45:00.002-04:00

There is something magical about love. It cannot be forced to leave, nor can you force it to appear. You can fall in love with someone that is completely wrong for you under societies definition of what makes a couple stand strong. Others are put together and while seeming like the perfect couple, cannot stand the test of time.

It's crazy, this love thing. How does it happen? How can the feelings produced by your heart sometimes trump what the mind thinks, what the mind knows will result in a better outcome? How can you look at someone for the first time and in the blink of an eye, realize that this person is who you want to spend the rest of your life with? Conversely, how can you be friends with someone for years and finally one day, it becomes apparent that you cannot live without this person by your side?

Sometimes women are attracted to the bad guys, the ones that may not treat them all that well. Some women try and try to make the relationship work when everyone outside of the relationship is telling them they should move on. How do women live with and love someone that is physically, mentally and/or emotionally abusive and when the opposite enters their lives, the one who wants to settle down and treat them like the queens they are, it's difficult or nearly impossible to let go of the person they were abused by?

How long are we willing to hold on to love?

El Malo
By Aventura

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Wp6au5Nah8

I wanna...

2010-08-21T09:54:00.002-04:00

Settle Down
By Perez Hilton

"Is the sweetheart you married, the husband you expected him to be?"

Que Lloren

2010-08-21T06:59:00.003-04:00

Que Lloren
By: Ivy Queen

Que lloren
Una mas
de la diva (diva)
Sentimiento (sentimiento)
Pa las mujeres pa (eyy)

Me dijeron que los hombre no deben llorar
Y que de amor no se mueren
eso no es verdad
Todos caen por amor
caen por una caricia
caeran por la pasion
o caen por la codicia

Asi es la vida
siempre se ama a lo q no se olvida
Se buscan la mujer prohibida
O se buscan una querida
Envidia
Asi es la vida
cuando le toca la mujer
llorar para luego perder
o amar a un hombre que es infiel
y ver
que del amor nadie te salvara
que por amor somos capas de matar
y que el amor abeces es ignorante
ahora que lloren
que les toca su parte

que lloren
lo que yo quiero es
que lloren
que admitan de sus errores
para q asi una los perdone
y lloren

Me dijeren que los hombre no deben llorar (no no no no no)
Y que de amor no se mueren
eso no es verdad
Todos caen por amor (caen por amor)
caen por una caricia (por una caricia)
Caeran por la pasion
o caen por la codicia
Porque es la ley del amor
el valorar tu mujer
y si tu no lo haces bien
sabe la vas a perder
muchas somos fuertes
y otras somos la miel
ponte otros zapatos cuando somos infiel

Asi es la vida
siempre se ama a lo que no se olvida
Se buscan la mujer prohibida
O se buscan una querida
Envidia

Asi es la vida
cuando le toca la mujer
llorar para luego perder
o amar a un hombre que es infiel
y ver...

Me dijeren que los hombres no deben llorar (no no no no no)
Y que de amor no se mueren
eso no es verdad
Todos caen por amor (caen por amor)
caen por una caricia (por una caricia)
Caeran por la pasion
o caen por la codicia

que lloren
lo que yo quiero es
que lloren
que admitan de sus errores
para q asi una los perdone
y lloren

que lloren
lo que yo quiero es
que lloren
que admitan de sus errores
para q asi una los perdone
y lloren

llorennn
diva eehh esto es sentimiento pa
ehh urba y monserrate los jeadais
dale duro papa
que lloren que lloren
dale duro papa huyy
que lloren

La Vida Es Así

2010-08-21T06:58:00.004-04:00

La Vida Es Así
By: Ivy Queen

He recibido una llamada Me dijeron que te vieron
No quiero peros tampoco celos
Guarda tu escena no me des excusas pa
No voy a escuchar así que cálmala
Ya lo se todo me dijeron de ella
Me dijeron su vida En verdad me dan pena
Si tu te crees que con mis brazos
Cruzados yo me quedare

Me miro al espejo
Me peino y me maquillo
Un vestido corto sabes lo que te digo
Me montare en mi carro Por que se su dirección
Que aguante presión de este mujeron!!!

Hola!!! atrevida yo te traigo una noticia
Por eso es mi sonrisa Te la dare sin prisa
El hombre con quien sales Es mío y tú lo sabes!!
Pero aqui esta el detalle en la cama no vale...

Por eso vine a felicitarte
De lo que me libraste
Y tengo que confesarte
Mientras toman su tiempo
A alguien lo estoy viendo
Un hombre de verdad y no la basura que yo tengo

La vida es así
Si la sobras de otra te hace a ti feliz
Aquí esta el detalle
Yo te lo regalo por todo el sufrimiento
Y el dano que a causado

La vida es así
Ahora grito a viva voz que con alguien soy feliz
Alguien que me consiente
Me trata diferente me lleva de su mano
Me dice lo que siente

Para de esa escusas que yo tengo una grande
Callare la boca y coge lo que te toca
Lo Que se hace se tiene que pagar
No me distes mi lugar no tienes que regresar
Tengo alguien que me ama al fiiin.....

Yo tengo quien me toque a miii......
Alguien que me merece y que su amor me crece
Me hace sentir grande alguien que por mi rece
Alguien que me ama al fin.....
Yo tengo quien me toque a miii....
Aquí esta el detalle Si no cuidas lo tuyo
Otro llegara y la hará sentir suyo

No quiero peros tampoco celos (x4)
Así que cálmala (x4)

Ivy Queen
Hey keko music
La Reyna de este movimiento

Does Your Man Receive Too Much Facebook Love?

2010-08-20T17:23:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time you were happy and “In a Relationship” on Facebook. And then . . . Wait for it . . . There it is: you started to notice how much attention his profile was receiving. Whether a flirtatious wall post, a compromising tagged photo, or you being exposed to his personal account—forms of seething jealousy were onward bound. And, as the story goes, it ripple waved into a dramatic showdown between you two. Your relationship status and emotional sentiments were eventually updated to “It’s Complicated. You two will surely break up in the near future. The End.

You aren’t the only one irked by your partner’s Facebook reception. Over 50% of surveyors admit to growing jealous and insecure in their relationship due to activity on Facebook. Perhaps this is because the entire Facebook experience is a hatchery for relational jealousy, ignited by a number of scenarios:

The Picture. A classic “Having the time of our lives” shot is added to his recent pictures: a party atmosphere gleaming with Jack-o-lantern smiles, sweat studded foreheads, and toasts to the photographer. L’chayim. He has that stretched goofy grin painted on his face, the one you know from personal experience, the one that only creeps out during the best of times. He’s happy, his boys are happy, but that chick—the one clutched to him in partial embrace—she’s extra happy and you sense something in her smile and eyes begging for full coverage.

Common Response: A lingering stare followed by a customary inquiry, “Who the F*@! Is she?” A neurotic brainstorm ensues as you scan through his pictures, rampage his friend list, and attempt to solve the mystery of the friendly female friend.

The Wall. A female you don’t recognize leaves “Thank you!” on his wall. Slightly invasive, but you can’t help but wonder what her thankfulness stems from. You don’t have access to her profile to pry as freely as you’d wish so you’re left idle, sitting behind your computer with nothing but pushy presumptuous thoughts. It could be innocent—maybe he wished her well on her birthday and she was thankful. Or maybe not so innocent—he complimented a picture of her clad in a little bit more than a birthday suit and, yes, she was thankful.

Common Response: You’re going to ask him about it or silently obsess about it. Either way, it has formed an impressionable wrinkle in your brain.

The Status. It’s a day when he’s clearly feeling himself, and his FB status proclaims it with ringing bells. His self-boast cries for attention: his 6 pack is upgrading to an 8; his promo at work is signed, sealed, and delivered; or he identifies with a particular Jay-Z quote that beats its chest with bravado. On cue, a stream of applause follows his update with congratulatory praise and a slew of “Like” clicks. Traditionally, some girl goes IN and leaves a comment that is the real world equivalent of a set of shimmying pom-poms and a high kick. He responds coyly and she serves again, this time with greater force. The volley continues, and, sure enough, a “wink” emoticon or inside joke is sure to surface any moment now . . . Wait for it . . . There it is.

Common Response: Disgust, lathered in suds of annoyance that will surely manifest indirectly in your future correspondence with him, a.k.a. “You will act the F*@! Up!”

The Poke List. It was accidental (or a keenly executed maneuver), but you snagged a glimpse of his poke list. A long list of blue highlighted names exposes a network of flirtatious admirers who wouldn’t mind a poke or prod from yours truly. While there is no obvious rationale behind your feelings of betrayal—they still stir.

Common Response: Irrationalized drama milli-steps away from BEEF.

Relationship Status. It’s no secret—in the real world you guys are an item. However, in the online sphere you’re unattached because he doesn’t want to write who he’s in a relationship with, or he chooses to exclude the relationship tab all together. It’s not that you necessarily need the online community to know that you two are chain-linked together; however, his opposition is undeniably sketchy.

Common Response: Drama.

Why Does Facebook Summon So Many Jealous Feelings?

Facebook is helium to the relationships on it; they’re susceptible to being gassed up and burst. By design, it’s voyeuristically invasive and encourages its participants to believe that their minor activities are monumental. Where else does declaring a night out with the girls solicit public commentary and is worthy of publication in a News Feed accessible to a 3rd of the world’s population? A matter of fact: Facebook does such an awesome job at mustering up sensationalism that people begin to view themselves and other people by their profile; our real life selves seem to fall short when measured up against the height of approval received by our online selves.

It is no wonder that all of the “love” that his profile lassos strikes so many nerves in you: it is marketed as big packages, and, naturally, you regard these packages as big deliveries. However, know better. Just because Facebook wants to act like the anti-Cupid, doesn’t mean you two have to be casualties of love. Successfully step above the neurotic jealousy trip that Facebook specializes in provoking.

Unless, that is, you’re just a jealous person. In which case, you should disregard this entire article.

Monday Aug 16, 2010 – By Guerdley Cajus
Source: Clutch Mag Online

How to keep your man from cheating...

2010-08-20T15:37:00.001-04:00

This video is hysterical!!
How to keep your man from cheating

Female Orgasm Tips

2010-08-15T19:58:00.001-04:00

Experience ''OMG, Yes!'' Pleasure Tonight

1. Do It Before Sundown
Most of us get it on before bed, but that isn't the best time for women to have sex, says Laurie Mintz, PhD, author of A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex. Not only are you sleepy, but postwork worries cause your body to release the hormone cortisol, squashing your sex drive. In the a.m., women and men have naturally higher testosterone levels (which explains his morning wood). So set your alarm to go off earlier, and give him a sexy wake-up call.

2. Treat Him Like a Sex Object
"Women spend too much energy worrying about turning a guy on," says Joel Block, PhD, coauthor of Sex Comes First. To enjoy sex more, be selfish. Ogle your guy as if he were Taylor Lautner in Eclipse. By assuming the role of the "viewer" and focusing on your desire, you're less likely to be self-conscious and more willing to do whatever comes to your dirty mind.

3. Let It All Hang Out
Do you suck in your tummy when you're on top? Bad idea. That makes it harder to breathe deeply, which is a key to orgasm, says certified sexuality educator Amy Levine. Instead, try the tantric trick of slowing your breathing and taking deeper breaths. The extra oxygen will make your orgasm more intense by increasing blood flow below the belt.

4. Lock Eyes
You look everywhere but his eyes during the deed because it makes you feel vulnerable, says Block, but it's one of the best ways you can connect when naked. It sends the message that you're really into him and keeps your arousal high because your guy is mirroring his desire back at you. Ease into it by meeting his gaze for a few seconds and giving a sexy smile, then build up to longer eye contact.

5. Make Some Noise
Moaning, heavy breathing, and sighing during sex ups arousal by stimulating your central nervous system, says Mintz. Plus, if you don't speak up, he'll have a harder time figuring out what you like. Saying something like "Slow down — this feels incredible" is a positive way to get your message across, she says.

6. Insist on an O
You're so close, you can practically taste it, and then…he finishes first. Don't call it a night: "Make it clear that your needs are just as important," says Mintz. If you don't, it's easy to build up resentment (even if you're not aware of it), which can strain your relationship. Focus on your orgasm first, or if that doesn't work, brush your lips against his ear and purr "I want you to help me finish." Then hand him your vibrator.

Source: Cosmo

2010-08-13T22:30:00.003-04:00

Marriage Proposals that went Awry

Imagine losing your engagement ring before even being able to say I DO?!

Because I

2010-08-09T17:00:00.003-04:00

...Love The Way You Lie
By: Eminem - ft. Rihanna

You're Amazing....

2010-07-21T01:16:00.001-04:00

...Just The Way You Are

By: Bruno Mars [Debut Single]

You Fucking Me Makes Me Bilingual

2010-07-19T11:27:00.005-04:00

You Fucking Me Makes Me Bilingual

Please click above to listen to a passionate rendition of the intimate words below.
Enjoy!

The only aphrodisiac I need is your voice
Hearing you speak my name
Beckoning me to answer
Telling me you want me
So I tell you that you're the answer to every question I've ever had about love

Without words I use my tongue to tell the tale of us
Tracing your shadowscape
Kneeling before you my eyes feast upon your masculinity and
All its divinity and I praise you
Because all of that is for me

I begin to indulge myself of your delicacies
Digesting semi-sweet dark chocolate decadence as it melts
Dripping down my chin
Your taste is something that Godiva couldn't re-create

Needing every atom of your anatomy
Necessity is placed upon me knowing you are the source of my serendipity
Dipping in and out of me stroking more than my consciousness
Subconsciously I find myself rewinding our love scenes
In my daydreams
Seeing that face you make when you're making me cum
And it makes me want you right there and then

Thinking of you in inappropriate places I get
Tingling sensations in private locations where I wish to be caught between a rock and your hard place

As wetness develops, my legs begin to open and my spot turns to a back draft and all I want you to do is extinguish it
You know my body like the back of your hands
And touch me and send me into ecstasy

My thighs quiver in anticipation of deep penetration which gets me high
Body rising
Sweating
Panting
Make-up melting
Pulling my hair and
Scratching my back
I get a temporary case of tourettes because all I can say are four letter words in a four octave-range screaming your name

Aye papi, eres tan grande y tan duro y me lo das tan bueno...tu eres mi pecado mortal...
cojelo otra vez...

You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual

I see your tongue pink between your lips and I want it between mine
And I struggle
As you lick torturing me
I try to get away but
Not really

Running out of room begging for more
Up against the wall that has been scuffed by my stilettos
Again, Again, Again
You pry apart my thighs and tell me to be still
And I willingly submit to you because I love the way you dominate me
Demanding that I cum for you so I do as I'm told

You've molded me so I'm good to no-one else but you
You've conquered this once orgasmic-less world and multiplied it
Again and
Again

My face radiates with after-glow
My pillow scented by you
A fragrance which haunts me
My room smells of the best sex
I
Covered in body prints and finger prints and you above me
Your name written indelibly upon my body in your genetic history
Again, Again, Again

You fucking me makes me bilingual
You fucking me makes me bilingual

You fucking me makes me bilingual

Someone to grow old with...

2010-06-30T11:48:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering what life would be like being by your side many moons from now.

Waking up in the middle of the night and turning towards you instead of a lonely pillow.

Feeling your warm breath on my forehead as you slowly breathe in and out of your nostrils with your arms wrapped around me and my ear pressed against your chest.

I will forever cherish the sound of your heartbeat in one ear and in the other, the sound of the wind rustling leaves outside, like the waves kissing the ocean shore.

I want to wake up and see the beautiful moon staring at us from afar, the very same moon that we used to look at when we walked on the cool sand many summer nights years ago. The very same moon that will be there years from now when we travel the world together, exploring, making new discoveries.

I wonder what life would be like to see your face change over time....to feel your skin age with the turbulent rollercoaster of life. All the while, my skin will age next to yours as our love continues to grow for one another.

I look forward to reminiscing on how things once were and looking towards how things will be, with you by my side.

Time, it's a magical thing. All of these fleeting moments are gone ever too quickly.

We must treasure every moment we have with one another for we never know when the other shall cease to exist.

I look forward to growing old with and experiencing life with you...whomever it is you are destined to be.

~a delirious, emotional moment in time....
Just woke up to a beautiful moon and was inspired. Going back to bed now...
written at 1:22am 6/30/10

Dane Cook on Relationships

2010-06-23T11:28:00.000-04:00

Hysterical....and sooo true!!

Dane Cook on Relationships

Sex and the City 2

2010-06-08T18:11:00.001-04:00

"You always want what you had when you have what you always wanted" ~Elyse Lerner

This wonderful quote came about after watching “Sex and the City 2”, which I believe is a FANTASTIC movie. I don’t want to give away the details in case you have not watched the movie, but I will touch on this underlying theme that was apparent throughout the film. Charlotte always wanted a family, yet when she finally has a husband and two children, she’s going crazy. Miranda always wanted to be a partner at her law firm, but she was not fulfilled due to the enormous amount of work and scrutiny she has to endure. Carrie wanted the man she loved, Mr. Big, to love her, appreciate her and be in a long-term, committed relationship with her. Now that they are finally married, life is not what she expected it would be. Many people live their lives wanting something so badly, yet when they receive the thing they desire/have been working towards, they don't want it anymore; they would rather be back at square one. It's the same logic behind the saying: "The grass isn't always greener on the other side."

We believe things will be better when this happens (get promoted, buy a house, meet the person of our dreams, have a child, etc.), or when we have that material thing (car, house, wedding ring, divorce papers, etc.), however, some people reach their destination, but still feel empty, alone, overworked and underpaid.

So, why is it that we want what we had when we finally have what we wanted? Will we ever be satisfied?

Help! He Doesn't Want to Commit!!

2010-06-03T10:17:00.003-04:00

Q: I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for six years (on and off). We've had many issues in the past that have caused us to break up several times. My issue now is that my boyfriend shuns marriage. He says he's scared to get married because everyone around him is divorced. I feel like he will never truly commit. Am I wasting my time? I’m 31 and really want to get married and have children. Please help!

-Ashley L.

FreeHeartsAndMinds' Advice: Although I am NOT a relationship expert, my advice is Ashley, RUN (don't walk) away and don't look back. You two are not on the same page and the problems will just keep escalating if and when you both decide to get married. The fact that you have had an "on and off" relationship should be indication enough that an important link in your relationship is broken. Been there, done that...Now, it's time to move on! When he is grown and ready to commit, he may realize that he lost a good thing. By then, you will be happily married and raising the family you long for. Best of luck!

Advice from a trained professional:

A: Hi Ashley,

You ask a great question regarding commitment. Six years is a lot of time, energy and emotion to put into a relationship. However, starting a family with the wrong man would be a big mistake indeed. Of course, it’s impossible for me to know if this is the wrong man and if you’re “wasting your time.” But the fact that you’re reaching out tells me that your inner voice is whispering caution into you ear. All I can tell you is this: Judge people more by what they do than by what they say. However, in this case, it appears that what your boyfriend is “doing” and what he is “saying” are in agreement with each other.

If you could attach a voice to his overall demeanor when it comes to marriage and commitment issues, what would that voice be saying to you? Be as honest as you can. Create a one-sentence statement that describes exactly what you hear. Even though I have very limited information here, when I ask myself that question about his behavior, I hear, “I don’t want to commit and I don’t want to get married!” So my question to you is this: Are you unable to hear him OR are you just unwilling to hear him?

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare

Source: Lifescript.com

Why Don't You Love Me?

2010-05-13T10:07:00.004-04:00

Beyonce cannot fail in my eyes! Her songs tell stories. Relevant stories. The video to Beyonce's song "Why Don't You Love" me is below.

It's sad but many women experience this sort of melt-down after a break-up. I actually remember experiencing this type of thing in the past. Thinking, asking, wondering "Why? How? Who does he think he is? I have everything he is looking for. and/or He's never going to find someone like me." Truth be told, at the end of the day, it does not even matter if he find someone like you or better than you or if he stays single or even becomes homosexual! It does not matter because you and he just were not meant to be and THAT is why it ended. No need for tears ladies! No one has died!

I have grown a lot since those days of sleepless nights and dark circles around my eyes. I am glad I have moved on to realizing my worth and understanding that although my path has changed, I will find a man that values all of those things Beyonce mentions in her song. No need to dwell on what could have been. Time to move forward ladies!

Why Don't You Love Me?

Five Star Recovery

2010-05-11T19:03:00.001-04:00

I am very happy to say that I have come to a point in my life where I am realizing what is truly important to me. I no longer wish to be in a relationship where I do not get nearly as much as I give. No more looking back to empty promises and one-sided dreams. Hindsight is 20/20.

If I meet someone along the way that is willing to take this journey with me and put in his fair share, then so be it. Until then I will live for me and focus on my wishes, my desires and my aspirations.

This song expresses my feelings perfectly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O14DOuH_GOM&feature=player_embedded

Great job Sophia Moon!

"Life is too short to waste unnecessary tears." - Jose "Bello" Peralta

Relationship Problems and how to fix them (6 & 7 of 7)

2010-05-11T19:00:00.003-04:00

Conflict

**You are not a victim. It is your choice whether to react and how to react.

**Be honest with yourself. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments directed toward resolution, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.

**Change it up. If you continue to respond in the same way that has brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.

**Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.

Trust

**Be consistent.
**Be on time.
**Do what you say you will do.
**Don't lie -- not even little white lies, to your partner or to others.
**Be fair, even in an argument.
**Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree but don't discount how your partner is feeling.
**Call when you say you will.
**Call to say you'll be home late.
**Carry your fair share of the workload.
**Don't overreact when things go wrong.
**Never say things you can't take back.
**Don't dig up old wounds.
**Respect your partner's boundaries.
**Don’t be jealous.
**Be a good listener.

Although relationships have their ups and downs, there are things you can both do that may well minimize marriage problems, if not help avoid them altogether, says psychologist Karen Sherman. Be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy.

Use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more. And be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that it will be better with someone else; the same problems you have in this relationship because of lack of skills will still exist.

Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528

Relationship Problems and how to fix them (4 & 5 of 7)

2010-05-06T14:11:00.000-04:00

Struggles Over Home Chores

**Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home, Sherman says. "Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what." Be fair: Make sure each partner's tasks are equitable so no resentment builds.

**Be open to other solutions, Sherman adds: If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. As long as it feels fair to both people, you can be creative and take preferences into account.

Not Prioritizing Your Relationship

**Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Make gestures of appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.

**Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.

**Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate ... ." It lets your partner know that he/she matters.

Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528

Relationship Problems and how to fix them (3 of 7)

2010-05-02T20:46:00.001-04:00

Money

**Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle that was possible before the loss of income is simply unrealistic.

**Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both parties.

**Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understanding that there are benefits to both, and agreeing to learn from each other's tendencies.

**Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.

**Don't blame.

**Construct a joint budget that includes savings.

**Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.

**Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.

**Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.

**Talk about caring for your parents as they age, and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs, if necessary.

Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528

A Sunday Kind of Love

2010-05-02T20:43:00.001-04:00

This is what I need....

A Sunday Kind of Love

Relationship Problems and how to fix them (2 of 7)

2010-05-01T09:58:00.001-04:00

Sex

**Plan, plan, plan, Fay says. Make an appointment -- not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap. Or perhaps a "before-work quickie," Fay suggests. Or ask Grandma and Grandpa to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says, adding that mixing things up a bit can increase your sexual enjoyment as well. Why not sex in the kitchen? Sex by the fire? Sex standing up in the hallway?

**California psychotherapist Allison Cohen, MA, MFT, also suggests learning what truly turns your partner on by asking him or her to come up with a personal "Sexy List." And, of course, you do the same. What do each of you truly find sexy? "The answers may surprise you." Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.

**If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist, who can help you both address and resolve your issues.

Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528

Relationship Problems and how to fix them (1 of 7)

2010-04-30T23:16:00.002-04:00

Communication

**Make time ... yes, an actual appointment with each other, Shimberg says. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let the answering machine pick up your calls.

**If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant, where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.

**Set up some rules ... like not interrupting until the other is through, banning phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ..."

**Remember that a large part of communication is listening, so be sure your body language reflects that. That means, don't doodle, look at your watch, pick at your nails, etc. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message and rephrase if necessary, such as, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm, and if what the other person really meant was, hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you, perhaps they'll say so but in a nicer way.

Source: http://blackdoctor.org/articles1.aspx?counter=37528

2010-04-13T22:04:00.001-04:00

"You can take the player out of the game, but you can't take the game out of the player." ~Yomaris Maldonado

Life's Tid Bits

2010-04-07T10:46:00.003-04:00

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink his/her choices, and another woman prepare.

*They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them*

Source: I was told this came from Oprah.

El Doctorado - Tony Dize

2010-03-24T13:59:00.001-04:00

I love this song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyzsi2K2p90

Are you wearing someone else's used underwear?!

2010-03-09T21:47:00.002-05:00

This video reveals some scary, filthy secrets.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/35659447#35659447

In summary, wash any and all new lingerie and swimming items before using them.

So, when are you going to start having kids?

2010-03-06T21:29:00.000-05:00

Instead of asking me, “So, when are you going to start having kids?” Please feel free to memorize the following and asking this instead: “So, when are you going to put a hold or completely stop
*Having all of the fun you want to have,
*Going dancing/bowling/to museums/to art galleries,
*Waking up whenever you want,
*Going to sleep whenever you want,
*Watching a movie from start to finish,
*Going to happy hour after work with friends/co-workers or staying late at work to finish the project that is already late,
*Cooking for one to start cooking for many,
*Taking dancing, Philosophy, cooking & acting classes,
*Taking your time to get ready in the morning because you have to shower, dress, feed and take the children to school on time,
*Doing volunteer work that requires you to fly to different countries,
*Being intimate with your partner without worrying about waking the kids,
*Taking vacations whenever, wherever and for however long you want to take them,
*Spending/saving money as you wish,
*Dressing however you want to dress, without people looking at you sideways, because mothers should maybe dress a certain way,
*Living your life as if no one depends on your every decision,
*Watching whatever you want on television without having to listen to Nickelodeon reruns,
*Having crazy adventures like going skydiving or water rafting, without worrying if you will live to see your child(ren) become parents,
*Sending text messages or spending/wasting time on Facebook so that you can dedicate quality time to your child(ren),
*Reading the books you want to read, to ensure that your child(ren) are literate/intelligent
*Working on films/photoshoots/figuring out what exactly you want to be in life so that you can help the little person that now looks up to you, figure out what they want to be in life.
*Worrying 100% about yourself and start worrying about the future of a human being you brought into this world and making sure that they are getting the proper education to be successful, somebodies in this crazy world we live in, while not succumbing to peer pressure, drug addiction and/or the mental abuse that so many people endure.

How about this: I don’t want a child.

I want a FAMILY. I want to be a mother and I want to be a wife. I want a husband that loves me and that will be by my side through thick and thin. I want my child(ren) to look up to their mother and father with respect and awe at how cool we are, while wishing they grew up to be just like us. I want a house with a fence and a dog and a fish. Hold on, I could probably do without the fish. I want to know that I am not in it by myself. I want to raise a stable household where my child(ren) will not wonder why mommy didn’t have all of the fun she needed to have before becoming a mother. At the end of the day, besides wanting people to stop asking me when I am going to have kids (after listening to their horror stories of motherhood), I want to take my time. If that is too much to ask for, oh well.

Tings Already Betta...

2010-02-16T23:34:00.001-05:00

I recently returned from a life changing adventure to Kingston, Jamaica. Thanks to the generous donations of a few co-workers, friends and family, I was able to embark on a journey that helped shed some light on my life and that of at least 9 other (amazing/courageous) people. After raising $1,000, I went on a Missionary Trip with some of my HBO co-workers to help Mustard Seed Communities, a Catholic Organization dedicated to helping abandoned, disabled children.

During this week-long trip:
We donated money. Thank you to all of those that helped make this possible.
We donated our energy through physical labor. We worked on some major projects such as farmwork/gardening, painting, organizing, moving heavy building materials, etc.
Last, but not least, we donated our time and our hearts. We met and spent quality time with abandoned children and young adults with major physical disabilities stemming from illnesses such as Hydrocephalus, Microcephalus/microcephaly, Macrocephaly, Spina bifida, Cerebal Palsy, Downs-Syndrome and HIV/AIDS to name afew. We hugged/spoke to/helped feed young children that will be wheelchair bound for the rest of lives. We met young mothers that were abandoned by their parents or that left home when they became a teenage mother. We brought joy and laughter to little boys and girls that were abandoned after being born with HIV/AIDS.

I was especially touched by a young boy named Anthony. Anthony is blind and has Hydrocephalus, which is a build up of fluid inside the skull, leading to brain swelling. (Source: https://health.google.com/health/ref/Hydrocephalus). Although, he could not see us, nor could he speak to us, Anthony seemed incredibly happy to know there were new people surrounding him and giving him love and attention. He held my hand and rubbed his face with it while he incessantly squirmed around in his wheelchair. Through my tears, I sang to him and he smiled. When we were leaving, I sensed that he knew something was about to change and he was not as cheery as he was every other day of my trip. He did not move around in his wheelchair as he had during the week and he did not rub my hand on his face, he simply held it tightly and close to his chest. Tears flood my eyes when I think of the tear drop I saw coming from the corner of his eye as I said goodbye.

This life changing trip will forever stay in my mind and heart. Even though it took some getting used to seeing the things I saw and staying in an area experiencing a drought (bathing with a bucket full of cold water makes you really appreciate the warm running showers in the US), I look forward to attending more Missionary Trips and I hope you will help me brighten someone else's life by donating when the next opportunity arises. Thank you in advance.

Please feel free to see some of the pictures from the trip (link below). Please note that due to confidentiality, this does not include pictures of the disabled children, but if you would like to see then, please let me know.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2101461&id=9505014&l=86d076816f

Thank you for your time.

All the best,
~Yomaris

A note on parenting

2010-01-28T09:08:00.001-05:00

"Parents who show their children that they love them unconditionally - just because they are who they are - build a foundation of healthy self-respect that will sustain the children for the rest of their lives." Napolean Hill's Positive Action Plan 1/28

The Magic Moment

2010-01-12T20:10:00.002-05:00

"We have to take risks. We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself.

Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant.

It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. This moment exists – a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles.

Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith.

Poor are those who are afraid of running risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue. But when they look back – for we always look back – they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it. So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.”

Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed."

from “By the river Piedra I sat down and wept” by Paulo Coelho

2009-12-16T12:13:00.000-05:00

"There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more." From the show, Greys Anatomy

Leave Poor Tiger Alone!

2009-12-11T13:16:00.001-05:00

OH YES!!! Please leave the poor rich man alone! Please excuse his infidelity, irresponsible behavior and leave his lying ass alone. He has done absolutely nothing wrong, besides being a complete liar, a cheat, a poor excuse for a man and a horrible role model for all young men out there.

Ok…Let's get serious. Why is the media making this such a big deal when we have to deal with war, Global Warming, poverty, racism, starvation, drugs and hate crimes among other injustices that plague this country, this world? Even though, this is not the biggest issue we are facing, this IS a big deal. People look up to Tiger Woods, this 'once child prodigy, nerdy, honest, millionaire which is arguably the world's greatest golfer, that married a model and has the perfect life'. There are people that aspire to be like him. He endorses and has been a spokesperson for many products we purchase/use daily. How are we going to ever trust his word (or that of any spokesperson) when he cannot even be trusted by his wife? Why would we listen to a two-faced, hypocrite when he is living a double life by allegedly being unfaithful to his wife with a string of women? His supposed text messages to “Jaimee Grubbs” are disgusting and plain sad [1]. I feel bad for his wife, Elin, the woman that had faith in him and in their marriage. I am assuming trusted him and let him do his thing on his trips and on the weekends in the hopes that he would come home and be true to his word. Unfortunately, he was busy in other ways, potentially bringing home diseases along with the grocery bags. Who cares if she was sitting at home with all of the money in the world? When your husband, your other half, is not by your side, the money doesn't mean much.

How does he appear in the eyes and mind of a young man growing up in this already tumultuous environment? How can boys idolize a man who has turned out to be more than just a player of golf? How do women trust men that will tell you they love you and that they are heading off to work, when they are possibly gallivanting around with other women? Will we ever live in a society where trust, fidelity, responsibility, probity and love actually mean something?

Please note, this is not only about Tiger Woods; it’s about many men out there. This is also not meant to be a man bashing blog. It isn’t, I promise. So I will now move right along to the other despicable culprit. Many people have been harping on the fact that Tiger did wrong, but let's not forget that it takes two to tango. Jaimee flaunted her stuff in front of him, and unfortunately some, if not most men are as good/honest as their options. She, and all of the other home wreckers out there, ruins it for the rest of us. How are men going to ever trust women when that type of behavior is taking place left and right? How are men supposed to ever stay faithful if more and more women WANT to be a mistress? Um…hello…don't you get it? You will NEVER be number 1 AND you will NEVER get a good man by your side because of your whorish ways!

Eve Ensler one day said, ”women are the primary resource of the planet. They give birth, we come from them, they are mothers, they are visionaries [and] they are the future.” (see awesome video [2] below) How exactly is Jaimee setting an example for little girls around the word by being a…tramp? What role models do young girls have to look up to when a lot of women in the public eye, being continuously broadcasted in these young women's faces, are partaking in this sort of behavior?

Ladies (not sure if I could even call you that), do us all a favor and start setting a better example for women all over the world. Keep your legs closed and your pants on when it comes to other people's husbands and boyfriends. Take some time to look for someone that is available and willing to give you 100%, not just a Sunday night for a fling. Think about it, is that all you really want to be? A jumpoff? A weekend fling? A homewrecker?

In summary, how is the average man going to be respected by women if we cannot even respect the Senators, Presidents, Priests, celebrities and all of the other so called honorable men that run this country? How do we keep a spirit of optimism when the reality we face is one in which it is more and more difficult to trust those closest to you? How do we all start moving towards respecting one another, the relationships we are in and the families we are trying to build?

[1] Text Messages

[2] 13:00min until the end Eve Ensler on Security

Random Thought...

2009-12-08T07:54:00.001-05:00

I am a fan of PD's of A, however, when it crosses over into slurping and sucking one another's faces off in public, it has undoubtedly CROSSED the line. GET A ROOM for Pete's sake!

Why not?

2009-12-06T02:02:00.002-05:00

I vaguely remember a time when I was carefree about relationships. It did not matter whether I was in a relationship or not. This time was many moons ago. An eternity ago or so it seems. During our younger years, many of us did not worry about who was by our side, about whether or not he or she danced with someone else at the school dance, about who broke up with who and if we did care, it was only for a split moment and then those cares were gone with the wind. Looking back, it seems like we were made of rubber so when we fell, we easily got back up and moved forward.

Sadly, as we get older, it takes us longer to get back up after a fall. The rubber has evolved to porcelain or glass. It is much more difficult getting into a relationship because you are more vulnerable to being let down and broken. Heartbreak could possibly be just around the corner. Why take the jump, the leap of faith, of opening your heart to someone else when most relationships near and far are being destroyed by selfish, meaningless moments of instant gratification?

Why is it that if we know how horrible it feels to give of yourself 100% and then to be crushed if the other person takes advantage of your trust, would we turn around and take advantage of someone else’s trust? Why not work extra to keep your relationship intact? Why not understand the meaning of karma and respect your partner by treating them the same way you expect to be treated? Why not realize the importance of having a meaningful, trusting, long-term relationship? Why not try experiencing a pure relationship, where outside forces do not penetrate the walls of your house of love?

Why not?

Inspired by the following quote…“When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes, you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” ~Carry Bradshaw, Sex and the City, Season 6, Episode 82 “The Catch”

Deep in Thought..

Photographer: Pepper Negron
Hair, Make-up & Styling: Carolina Lizana Lamarca

Why so Many Divorces?

2009-12-02T21:25:00.000-05:00

What are some of the major causes of divorce in the young couples of today? Many people in their late 20s are getting married and within 2 years are getting divorced. Why is that? Is it due to differences in values? Not meeting expectations? Financial issues? Change of Heart? Family pressure? Combination of many things? I would sincerely like to understand this 'epidemic' for a lack of a better word.

I am Yours and You are Mine

2009-11-29T23:05:00.005-05:00

“I bet you’ve had a hard time walking into a room full of people on your own, right? I know what it is not to feel like you’re in the room until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your own expense. Just to let everyone know you’re with him. You’re his.” ~Patricia (The mother played by Kathy Bates) in the movie P.S. I Love You.

I have heard that when you are in love, you could be in a room full of people, yet feel completely and utterly alone, if the person you love is not there. Your very purpose for getting all dressed up and smelling extra special is so that your significant other, your other half, could notice you. For some odd reason, it does not really matter that every single person tells you that you look great, that your outfit is on point, that your perfume is phenomenal, if your “special someone” doesn’t get a chance to mention it. You do appreciate those comments, but the icing on the cake is when your loved winks at you, give you that smile you had been waiting for, brushes his cheek against yours and whispers softly in your ear, “Darling, you look perfect.”

Why is that? Why do we yearn for that approval? Why does it make our day/evening/weekend to be recognized by this single person? Also, why are we not complete until he is by our side? Is it due simply to sheer recognition? Recognition of who you are in his life? Why does it make us feel at ease to know that he is letting the rest of the world know that you are his and he is yours? In Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve wrote about a man’s need to “Profess,” or claim you as his and how this shows that he truly loves you. “If your man loves you, he’s willing to tell anybody and everybody. ‘Look, man, this is my woman’ or ‘this is my girl,’ ‘my baby’s mama,’ or ‘my lady’.” {Page 21} Women may innately feel better about the relationship and themselves when their man is professing / claiming / showing the world that they are a couple.

Do men feel the same way? Do they seek similar approval from their lady? Would it matter more if 10 people (other women) told him he had a nice jacket/tie/pair of kicks, or if his girlfriend/fiancé/wife was the only person that mentioned it? Does a man want to know that his woman will stand by his side in a room full of people and show every single person in there (especially the men) that she is not available, that she is proud of being in a relationship with him?

Are we all the same when it comes to receiving recognition?

By Your Side by Sade

By Your Side by Yves Larock ft Jaba

Syleena Johnson - Guess What

2009-11-24T10:32:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CjFuyA4-aM

2009-11-21T09:21:00.001-05:00

Love is patient and kind; Love envies not, nor is she haughty or proud. Love offends not; she seeks nothing for herself, and is not easily provoked. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Love never fails. –Gospel of Paul

2009-11-21T09:15:00.001-05:00

How does one obtain blind faith in relationships? Possibly through Time, Practice & Patience. This dance is an incredibly amazing rendition of the constant push and pull in relationships, the dance of love making. Utterly breathtaking.

Making Love in Dance

Mind-boggling thought of the day

2009-11-17T08:34:00.001-05:00

Mind-boggling thought of the day...I think that after traumatic, life changing episodes in someone's life; they would undoubtedly become a better person. With the understanding that life is to short to be downright MEAN. Unfortunately, some people take these negative experiences&turn them into a life of negativity, where they try to ruin everyone else's life, to make themselves feel better. I think people need to stop being rude & conniving towards others and let us all live happier lives!

Healthy vs. Not-so-Healhy Relationships

2009-10-26T16:32:00.002-04:00

In a healthy relationship, you:

Treat each other with respect
Feel secure and comfortable
Are not violent with each other
Can resolve conflicts satisfactorily
Enjoy the time you spend together
Support one another
Take interest in one another's lives: health, family, work, etc.
Have privacy in the relationship
Can trust each other
Are each sexual by choice
Communicate clearly and openly
Have letters, phone calls, and e-mail that are your own
Make healthy decisions about alcohol or other drugs
Encourage other friendships
Are honest about your past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate
Know that most people in your life are happy about the relationship
Have more good times in the relationship than bad

In an unhealthy relationship, one or both of you:

Try to control or manipulate the other
Make the other feel bad about her/himself
Ridicule or call names
Dictate how the other dresses
Do not make time for each other
Criticize the other's friends
Are afraid of the other's temper
Discourage the other from being close with anyone else
Ignore each other when one is speaking
Are overly possessive or get jealous about ordinary behavior
Criticize or support others in criticizing people with your gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, disability, or other personal attribute
Control the other's money or other resources (e.g., car)
Harm or threaten to harm children, family, pets, or objects of personal value
Push, grab, hit, punch, or throw objects
Use physical force or threats to prevent the other from leaving

Source: Columbia.edu site

Married and Bored or Single and Lonely

2009-10-26T13:50:00.001-04:00

How much truth is in this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6X0Qqxx3f0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U1QJpJ1ULA

This Cat Betrayed His Girlfriend

2009-10-21T12:03:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3sX30NubTs

Are all men dogs?

2009-10-21T09:23:00.003-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY0ptwrR_zI

Survey Time!

2009-10-14T16:50:00.001-04:00

Would you allow your significant other to have a roommate of the opposite sex?

2009-10-07T23:50:00.002-04:00

Can you be be fulfilled in a relationship where you see marriage in your future, but your partner does not think they ever want to be married? Is it that they do not see themselves ever getting married...or that maybe they do not see themselves getting married to you?

Why must we nit-pick?

2009-09-13T21:22:00.001-04:00

"In humans, nit-picking can ruin a perfectly good evening, not to mention a relationship. Women are known to be more verbal than men, but when does criticism that is constructive, become destructive. Are there times when the ladies should just shut the f*ck up?" ~Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & the City, Season 6, Episode 78 "Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little"

Thefreedictionary.com provides the following definition for Nit-Picking: (n.) Minute, trivial, unnecessary, and unjustified criticism or faultfinding

When thinking about the definition of this word and the usual aftermath of the act, why do we nit-pick? In the example above, Carrie expresses that women tend the nit-pick, but I would like to point out that both men and women can be harsh when it comes this type of "constructive criticism". Why is it that everything in a relationship could be going GREAT and we always seem to find a little something to pick at? Maybe it's a word that is used in a conversation, a small action that one of us finds annoying, whatever it may be, we simply cannot let it go. We must bring it up and then bring it home! Could this minute thing be so important to us that we cannot move on without bringing it up? Is it that we need to find fault in our partners to make us feel good about ourselves?

I know I am not a saint with this one because I too am guilty of ruining a great day/evening because of something so trivial that could have and maybe should have been overlooked. Will it matter in 5 years? Will it really even matter in 5 minutes? In trying to be constructive while criticizing, sometimes people cause more harm that good. As much as it bothers you inside and makes your blood boil that some particular comment was made, is it better to just let it simmer a little longer and eventually move on, or will it keep boiling until you explode?

There are many important, maybe even life changing events that take place in our lives and in the lives of those around us. Wouldn't it be better to focus our energy on the things that really have an impact on who we are as a person? Or can you simply not concenstrate on the bigger isses until you resolve all of the little things that bother you? I've noticed that people nit-pick at most things President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama say, do, wear, etc. Is it just in our nature to do this? Do we have nothing better to do with our time that criticize what (in the grand scheme of things) is negligible? Maybe we are insecure about these small things in ourselves and it makes us feel better about our own actions? Can we look at the overall good in others and put aside their insignificant faults?

Can this act of constantly picking at small things that bug you ruin a relationship?

Facebook Manners And You

2009-09-01T16:35:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iROYzrm5SBM

Who Should Make The First Move?

2009-09-01T15:31:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIKyiKzQwMU

Brokenhearted Girl

2009-09-01T09:35:00.000-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0csLlzdhAPk